I'm at the end of my tether and feel like I'm losing my mind ...

[newmum75]

... Any advice would be great.

To cut a long story short, I had a miscarriage last year at 5 weeks then got pregnant again. At 12week scan there was no heartbeat and I miscarried naturally a few days later. Two months later I had a massive bleed and had an emergency d and c to remove some remaining tissue. That was in January. My periods haven't gone back to normal since. I had a light bleed last month and another one this month but a million miles from how they used to be. I'm desperate to get pregnant again but nothing is happening.

I'm in my late 30s. I've had tests done privately and on the nhs and they are all fine. I feel like I'm losing my mind because I feel something isn't right and it's really getting me down. I feel like it's taking over all my thoughts and I can't get on and enjoy life.

If anyone can tell me they went through something similar or can offer any advice, I would be really grateful. I really feel I can't go on like this. Sorry if it sounds a bit over the top but I just feel I'm at rock bottom.

Sorry for your losses newmum,it's heartbreaking going through MC, especially more than once.
I had a MC in March and again in June.
After the first MC when we decided to try again I got a Duofertility monitor, I don't know if you've read about them?
It's a small monitor you wear at night that takes lots of temperature readings which you then upload onto the computer. It should very accurately detect ovulation and predicts the most fertile time every month. If your periods are abnormal and you're not sure what's going on it might give you a better idea as to if/when you're ovulating? There's a very good support service,you can phone/email to contact a team of fertility experts for any fertility advice.
Having said that, my monitor hasn't detected ovulation for me yet as I was pregnant (though didn't know) when I started using it , and it's still only a few weeks since I miscarried. Because I'm 44 I didn't feel I have a lot of time left to become pregnant again so i wanted to maximize our chances!
It's not cheap(£495) but if they decide you are eligible you can qualify for a 12 mth guarantee, if you're not pregnant in that time you get a full refund.
There's lots of info online about it.
Hope that helps, I know it's a really difficult time.
x

Newmum75 so sorry to hear of your loss. Have you been checked for Ashermans Syndrome? Lighter periods after a D &C are a classic sign, I don't mean to freak you out and hopefully it's just your hormones settling after your miscarriage, but might be worth having a look at www.ashermans.org just to rule it out, if nothing else

X

Hello :)

Firstly sorry for your losses :(

I want to give you some hope. We started TTC in Jan 2010, and fell pregnant straight away. We lost that pregnancy at 8 weeks, the next pregnancy we lost at 10 weeks and the third we lost at 12. All had heartbeats on scans, and no explanation to why we lost them all.

The first MC - I had it medically managed with tablets etc. The last 2 I had ERPCs'. After both of them my periods were completely different. I have always been light but this was so light, I only ever had to wear a panty liner. I was beside myself with worry about Ashermans like helenlouisy said. In fact after my last ERPC I ovulated around 5 weeks, then 2 weeks later, had period pain etc but no bleed. I was absolutley going around the twist with worry. I went to my GP and insisted on tests etc . I had a hysteroscopy, and lots of blood tests and it turns out I have a clotting disorder. My periods did come back albeit very very light.

Happily I am now 32 weeks pg and all seems well so far, I am in my late 30's too. Before you drive yourself mad with worry, don't forget your body can take a while to get back to normal, however, I think you should go back to your GP if you are concerned. I know what it is like to lay awake worrying about these things.

Good luck xxx

Hi newmum75
I've had 5 miscarriages in a row, I deeply empathise with how you are feeling right now. It became an obsession for me albeit in a very private way.

As soon as I lost one I was desperate to get pregnant straight away again but after each successive MC my periods were strange. I put this down to the repeated surgical management. I developed ovarian cysts and endometriosis where I'd not had symptoms before, this was straight after the first MC (it's not Ashermans Syndrome in my case). my reproductive system felt run down.

The compulsion to carry on was awful, but so was each MC, I started to worry about my mental health, there's only so much we can cope with. Tests showed nothing wrong that they could find.

Basically we decided to take a break from TTC. It's been 13 months, my body feels back to normal and I feel mentally stronger and happier. I'm glad we did this despite me being nearly 40. We may try again, we may not, but I feel so much happier about the process now.

Sorry, this isnt about me, it's your thread but I wanted you to know that when I felt at the end of my tether I stopped trying for a while and it helped. X

Thanks so much everyone - just to hear some messages of support really helps.

Battery hen and life - sorry you've both had such dreadful times but great to hear your good news battery hen. Xxx

So sorry to hear what has happened. It sounds almost identical to me - miscarriage last Jan at 13 weeks, another one at 8 weeks 5 months later. I had to have EPRC for both, and after the second one my periods didn't start again. I was getting all the pains etc, but my GP wasn't concerned and kept telling me my body was settling down. But when you know something isn't right, it's really frustrating and I felt like I was going mad.

I finally had a hysteroscopy and scar tissue had blocked the entrance to the cervix (the dreaded Asherman's). The doctor cut it away there and then (no anaesthetic, a bit painful). Since then I've had very light periods, but still no luck in conceiving. I'm sure the scarring has returned, but it has taken me so long to get diagnosed I don't know if I can go through it all again on the NHS. I had previously had lots of blood tests done and nothing showed up. Am in the process of referral for fertility through GP, but may go private to get the scarring sorted. We don't really have the money, but it's causing me so much distress every month, I feel I have to do something. I'm 37 and also very concerned about time.

However, I also know that the stress is probably causing me problems too so this month I've been trying hard not to get worked up, but easier said than done x