Telling Family about TTC problems

[Smile87]

Hi, No one knows we are TTC we just kinda of brush it off when people ask. Im a bit fed up of that now though. I havnt even told my mum or sister (who has just had a baby!)

How do you even bring the subject up with people?

Hi smile

I don't have an answer for you but didn't want your post to go unanswered!

It's tricky isn't it. I've just started to be seen by the subfertility clinic so want to share with my family what I'm going through. But I don't want a big issue to be made of it...my mum and sister both got pregnant really easily and don't understand why it might take a long time.

Good luck telling them, but don't feel like you have to...

I've talked it all through with my sister but I guess it depends on your relationship, it's a big enough stress to cope with without adding in not talking about it and I've found being able to have a laugh about some of the less than dignified parts of it with her has really helped. I've told my mum the topline stuff and that we've been referred for IVF but really played it down.

Hi Smile sorry to hear you're having difficulties. We've just found out that DH "firing blanks" so fertility treatment is going to be required for us to conceive. DH has told his parents, but really doesn't want me to tell anyone because it makes him feel less of a man :( and he's such a good man! I'm bursting to talk to my sisters about my sadness, but at least I have MN to let it out. Not sure I would tell my mum anyway, not sure she's approve of IVF. I think we'll either get lucky with IVF and no one will know that was how, or people will just assume we chose to remain childless! So hard, I really feel for you xxx

I'm thinking the same it is not really anyone's business but it is crippling not talking about it :(

I told my sister when we started TTC so she realised that we were having problems early on. With Dad Mum's not with us any more he said something about us having kids in the future and I just told him words to the effect - we wanted a family but it wasn't happening and we were having tests to find out why. It's been easier having people knowing to be honest.

Hi Smile87,
I can feel your concerns about mentioning it to them.
We are in the same boat, so to speak.
As for telling family, I guess they know we are having some difficulty
Our close friends know I should be pregnant by now, but it's just not happening for us.
We are almost sure it is DH sperm quality, after he went for the snip reversal nearly 2 years ago.
The little blighters just swimming strong enough !!

We really thought July was "our month", but this morning I woke up with the feeling that my period is coming.
I would be due on July 9.
I can feel IVF taking a step closer, and perhaps we may not mention our difficulties to our family.

Fay

I've been pretty open with close friends and family. We got married in our mid-30s after years together, so everyone was expecting the baby announcement to follow (as did we). I find rather than having to put up with the "don't leave it too late" type comments, I would rather just tell people that we are having problems. Almost everyone has been supportive and helpful. The only disappointment has been my mum who is being rather odd about the whole thing.

We chose to tell our family straight away about our plans because we are older than average( me 41 and dh 53) as we thought it might take a while. As we got pg really quickly the family knew and subsequently were our support after mc 12 weeks....
Also part of me thought they might think that any baby in town would be from my dd18.....