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Original poster

Age gaps - 4 years

15 replies

MacMac123 · 19/06/2012 21:48

Not sure am posting in right section but couldn't really work out where was right.
Anyone got a 4 year age gap between their kids and how does it work?
Am pregnant with number 2, and the age gap will be 4 years and one month. Had imagined a closer one but time flew and here we are!!

Had a few comments about it being a large gap. Am sure it will be fine just keen to hear other people's experiences of age gaps!

OP posts:
bleedingheart · 19/06/2012 21:54

There is 4 yrs and 1 month between me and my brother and we are exceptionally close. I was very secure in my position in the family and was a great help to my parents. I admit I was a 'mini mummy' sometimes but I was old enough to help, understand the baby had demands that must be met. I have friends with similar gaps and they have great relationships. Mine have 3.5 yrs between them and are little buddies! I couldn't cope with two in nappies at once!

wunnybunny · 19/06/2012 21:55

mine will be nearly six years between them

kat1885 · 19/06/2012 22:06

There is exactly 4yrs and 10mins (share a birthday) between my boys. Took a little while for ds1 to adjust to sharing us but ds2 is now 7 weeks and ds1 is helping, is protective and gentle with ds2.

There is also 4 years between me and my sister, we are as close as you get and 4 years between dh and bil and they are very close too. I think its a great age gap.

SingingSands · 19/06/2012 22:11

I have a four year gap between mine. It's been fine, they are now 8 and 4, youngest is about to start school, oldest is excited about that.

I can't imagine having it any other way.

Original poster
MacMac123 · 20/06/2012 10:10

Thanks for responses, sounds good Smile

Do you 4 year age gap kids play together?!

OP posts:
itsybitsy08 · 20/06/2012 10:31

There is 3 year 11 month between my DD who is 4.6 years and Ds nearly 7 month.

Its a great gap!

DD was old enough to understand what was happening, and it was easy to involve her, she was of an age where she was happy about going off with grandparents to give me abit of a break, without any 'being abandoned or left out' issues.

She had a small period where her behaviour was off, but she was back to normal pretty soon (to be expected, it is a big ajustment for them!)

Now it is lovely, she adores her baby brother, always saying "oh he's so cute mammy" or "look mammy he's rolling, hes so clever". She is very protective of him, and enjoys making him laugh etc. She is also very happy sharing her toys with him.

He adrores her back and breaks out in a big gummy smile when he first sees her in the morning. He giggles away at her, and loved watching her play.

Another positive is that she is in school nursery, so I get important one on one time with the baby on a morning.

I know it can all change but I have a feeling they are going to be great little friends!

Also there are 5 years between myself and my brother - we have always got on very well, and still do :)

Congratulations, it will be great!

barleysugar · 20/06/2012 10:37

I think its a fantastic age gap. I have 17 months between my first two, and then 4 years till the next one, and its been wonderful.

eastendywendy · 20/06/2012 10:38

There is 3y9m between ds and dd. They adore each other, they're 5.5 and 21 months now. They do play with each other quite a bit at the mopment. We haven't had any jealousy really and it worked nicely because ds was home with dd until she was almost 1 and less boring and then when he went to school she was coming into their own so they are both having / had quality time as toddlers.

When I was pregnant with dd I was terrified I'd blow ds's world apart but in actual fact she's enriched it beyond measure and vice versa.

wrighty2010 · 26/06/2012 14:46

Hi, I have got an age gap of nearly 5 years, its hard sometimes but find its easier as they get older, the bonus is that they can understand a little better and so dont feel so pushed out and it is easy to organise special treats or you and them times when they are a bit oldre. Dont worry, these things happen for a reason! Good luck xx

lastboxoftampons · 26/06/2012 14:53

Good to hear this. We're TTC#2 but so far nothing and I'm so so aware of a potential age gap between DS and a LO widening! Hopefully ours will be close to 4 years as well. I had always imagined I'd have 2, 2 years apart...but, well, that's life, I guess.

Good luck to you!

Original poster
MacMac123 · 29/06/2012 19:40

Yes it's great to hear these positive experiences of 4 year age gap!

OP posts:
Irishmammybread · 29/06/2012 20:02

We had a gap of 6y4m between DS(now 19) and DD1(now 12), then a further 4y3m gap between dd1 and dd2(now 8).
It did mean at the baby/toddler stage they each got a lot of individual attention especially as older sibling(s) at school during the day.
It was sometimes hard to find activities everyone would enjoy on holidays etc but as they get older that became a lot easier.
The girls get on well together (most of the time) but actually the oldest and youngest probably have the best relationship as they share a very similar sense of humour (not that I'd advocate waiting and aiming for a gap of over 10 years!)
We had an unplanned(but not unwanted) pregnancy earlier this year which sadly ended in miscarriage but it made us realize how much we really want another baby so we're trying again even though it will mean a gap of 20 years between oldest and youngest if we succeed!
I think the relationship between siblings depends a lot on individual personalities and the family dynamic changes as they all get older anyway.
As long as there's plenty of love I think any gap can work out!

missmapp · 29/06/2012 20:05

My friend has a 5 yr gap and they are a lovely family. apparantly, studies show that size gap is the best as you can spend lots of 1 on 1 time with the younger child when the older one is at school, so they dont miss out at all. There is 2.5 yrs between mine, and I can see how I havnt been able to spend as much time with ds2 on his own.

Original poster
MacMac123 · 29/06/2012 20:38

Although my baby isn't here yet, I can already see that the gap is good for me, for instance DS is almost able to get himself dressed, he can get himself water from the fridge, hardly ever has accidents. He is very excited about the baby and totally understands, he's been saying he's going to buy her (with, ahem, my money I presume) and pink scooter and a My Little Pony. I guess I was just worried I'll struggle to find things they can do together and they won't play together. But hearing your experiences is great! I love the idea of babies over 20 year period ( although am a bit too old to leave another four years if we decide to go for a 3rd)!

OP posts:
MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 29/06/2012 20:57

There is 4.9yrs between my two boys (8 and almost 3). They get on very well and DS1 wasn't put out when DS2 was born - only really excited. DS1 is really brilliant with his brother - very protective and caring.

I love having the gap between them because the elder one can understand if DS2 needs attention because he knows that he will get some time in which we do the things he likes too. Didn't plan it this way, but I'm really glad it happened.

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