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Conception

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I feel totally let down by my doctors.

7 replies

Peanutbutter37tuesday · 02/06/2012 12:04

This could turn into a long rant, apologies! I'm feeling very annoyed and i'd like to find out if anyone else has had similar experiences to us.

We've been ttc for 20 months now. We conceived on our second month of trying, but unfortunately mc'd. I have irregular periods, (between 24 and 34 days) but apart from that, everything was was seemingly normal. We were quite relaxed about it for the first half a year, because we assumed that being young and healthy, we wouldn't have any problems. After a year of trying we decided to go to the doctors. DP's semen was fine, so obviously it was me with the problem. Of all the tests i've had, i feel that i've never had a proper explanation of what they're for, what the results show or been given ANY advice about improving our chances of conception (except for the last consultant we saw who told us to focus our attempts around day 14 of my cycle, something i know to be total bulls**t, especially since i have irregular cycles). The only real advice or information i've been given is from the internet.

I'm also totally narked that we weren't taught more about our cycles in school. I'm 24, so it was only about 10 years ago that i was having PSHE, but apart from the basics, i feel that i have been left quite clueless about the inner workings of my reproductive system.

This month we found out that we only had 3 months worth of Clomid left (something else i wasn't told about by my doctors, found out from the net) I've since read 'Taking charge of your fertility', found out about pre-seed, and i feel that ive learnt more in the last 2 weeks than i have in the past 6 months of seeing a doctor. I feel very frustrated that we've wasted a year and a half trying and failing and the steps that could've potentially helped us were so unbelievably simple and already there (BBT, cervical fluid and position etc). I already feel so much more empowered, because i know exactly whats happening with my body. Yes, we probably should have researched more thoroughly earlier, i realise that. We didn't want to put extra stress on ourselves and as i mentioned, i wasn't told that we only had 6 months worth of clomid available to us. It still doesn't change the fact that i think the doctors should have at least given us SOME sort of advice/ clear explanation.

In my experience, every test that the doctors have done has been geared around having a 28 day cycle, with a luteal phase of 14 days, which clearly has been no help to someone like me. I also think my tests have been quite ill-timed. For example, my hycosy scan was arranged for 3 months into my cycle of clomid. If my tubes had been blocked (which thankfully they weren't) we would have wasted 3 months worth of clomid when my tubes weren't even viable! When i told them that OPKs had indicated that i ovulated early on in my cycle, i was completely ignored, which left me very confused about how the hell i was supposed to know when to have sex!

I really do have a lot of respect for the NHS (Honest!), but i feel that we have been misinformed and almost ignored on this occasion and that simple and clear advice could have saved us a year and a half of heartbreak and confusion.

OP posts:
rogersmellyonthetelly · 03/06/2012 10:34

You have been let down by your hcps. I was told by my gp to have sex around day 10-16. I have a 35 day cycle. I wasted 14 months like this before I joined fertility friend online and started charting. Turns out was ovulating between day 18 and 23. We had another 9 months of failure before I saw a consultant who arranged the test for dh. Apparently this Should have been done when I had my day 3 and day 21 tests done (at completely the wrong time due to them insisting i come on day 21 which was actually a week earlier than it should have been )
Turns out dh has low count and poor motility, so really we needed to be dtd on the day of ovulation. I started using opks at that point and 2 months later I was pregnant. I feel I wasted almost 3 years on this because of poor advice from the gp.
We tried for dd when ds was 12 months old, I got pregnant first try, probably because we were having sex at the right time!

SilentMammoth · 03/06/2012 14:21

Yanbu and I'm really sorry you had this experience. Re knowing about cm thermal shifts and charting, absolutely!!! Why the hell is this not taughtour even known about by many hcps? This
is why I bought tcoyf for my 17 yo niece.I wish you every good wish for the future

CaipirinhasAllRound · 05/06/2012 12:18

I'm a bit miffed too. After 2 and a half years of TTC I am now on my 3rd month of clomid. I went to my GP after 18 months of TTC who referred me to the consultant. Saw him 2 months later and he told us to 'be together more'. Suggested my husband buy me flowers and than I read up on whatever interestes my DH so that we could talk. More like bloody marriage guidance which we def don't need!
He did arraneg for an x-ray on my tubes which came back fine. Then 3 months later saw his colleagues (thankfully) who arranged a 21 day blood test to check I was ovulating - he was surprised this hadn't been don't already. I'd had a test when I first went to the GP but they didn't check progesterone for some reason. This new consultant also arranged for a scan which came back fine. Saw him 2 months later and was told I wasn't ovulating and so am now on clomid. Didn't ovulate 1st month, upped me to doubel dosage and I ovulated the 2 month but I am 99% sure I'm not going to ovulate this month. Am charting and currently on day 18 and my temperarure has hardly moved in the last 10 days.

I'm mad that after 2 and half years I'm now thinking that maybe I only ovulate once every other month and that this hasn't been picked up at all. I'm also annoyed with myself for not charting months/2 years ago as maybe I'd have picked this up myself....

I've been seeing an acupuncturist for a few weeks and learnt so much more from her than the doctors.
Due to see the consultant again in 2 weeks and they have said they will refer us for IVF if the clomid hasn't worked.....

anoli22 · 17/07/2012 07:33

Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou! At least I am not the only one that feels neglected and upset by the way gps handle fertility issues particularly for under 30s. I will certainly be telling my daughter (if I ever get lucky enough) to keep a good track on her period or she will one day feel as lost and scared by this new world I have unlocked.

Happilymarried155 · 17/07/2012 09:10

I am under 30, been ttc for 18 months. I went to my gp, cried my heart and she said come back after 2 years. I was distraught and at the end of my tether. In the end I decided that wasn't good enough went back to a male gp (a friend with fertility problems advised that men are better at fertility issues and are more likely to refer you) he was fab, said the average couple conceived within 8 months so that's why they say a year. He said my age was irrelevant and in actual fact in my most fettle now so concieving should be easier.
He explained all the tests in detail and refered me. Basically if your not happy request a different doctor, it's amazing the difference sometimes!! X

anoli22 · 17/07/2012 13:14

I never thought I'd feel comfortable with a man. But maybe I should. Most doctors at my surgery work random days and hours. And the appointment system is unbearably confusing. I snapped today trying to get an appointment to hear my progesterone levels, I had to phone up in the morning to get an appointment for that day. No advanced bookings so basically if your employed.... Up yours. After tearfully complaining to the horrible receptionist she said she will get the doctor to call me at some point this afternoon. Im predicting a rushed and unhelpful phone call while I sneak out at work, trying to seek privacy. Something is really wrong here.

Happilymarried155 · 17/07/2012 16:35

That's what I thought but I spoke to two women doctors at the surgery and they both said 2 years, I was beginning to think it was there policy. The male doctor referred me straight away and said no a year was plenty! Good luck, you have to be firm :) x

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