Just no Luck

[wantobeamummy]

Hi all, I feel a little silly but have no one else really to turn to really, just looking for a litte bit of guidance or just something to lift my spirits really. Im in my early twenties and have been with my partner for 3 years. My partner is 12 years my senior. We have been trying for a baby for 2 years now and nothing seems to be happening.

It has got to the point where my doctor has referred me and my partner to the fertility clinic and to be honest im so scared. My health hasnt been th bst growing up and i dont want infertility to be another ailment added to my list.

My sister and brother both have young children and i adore them to bits but its becoming growingly harder to be around them. I keep on getting the comments from the family members "Whens it your turn" "oh it will be you next" and the most painfull "I thought you would of had one by now".

I feel like im breaking down, i feel so shattered and it's so hard to stay positive and hopefull. Every "time of the month" that comes round crushes me that little bit more. And jeezo i dont think i've cried as much as i do now.

It is true what they say, when you want something so bad, every one else has it before you.

Can anyone help me? cheer me up a wee bit? make me giggle? I just feel so defeated and alone in all of this.

Thank you for reading.

W x

Oh ment to Say a wee PM would be nice just for a wee talk.

Thank you again

W x

Hi,
I know how difficult it can be, but it's a positive step that you are seeing the fertility specialist, have you had any tests at all yet?
I have been ttc for just over a year now and seeing lots of my friends and families start families can be incredibly painful but I try to remember that it will be my turn one day.
Try to enjoy being a couple at the moment, book a holiday, do things that you couldn't do if you had children! I'm just going to start acupuncture to help with my stress levels it also meant to be good for fertilty, I don't know if that is something that you would consider?

I read on a post her before that you should allow
yourself 10 minutes a day to feel sad about baby things, google symptoms etc...and generally be crazy then you pick yourself and think of the positives. I know it's really difficult but your not alone, there are always people on here that you can talk to that understand how you are feeling! Good luck x

wanttobeamumny bless you (hug!)

We've been ttc 6 months nearly, in cycle 4 and I'm finding it very hard I know this is nothing in comparison to some. Have you been using ovulation predictors? How long is your usual cycle?

It's good that your being referred by your doc lets hope there's a simple reason behind it all and can be easily fixed.

Fully sympathise with the relations and friends all having kids, i have a new niece and am besotted with her miss her terribly when i don't see her for a few days and holding her is a mix of agony and joy!

I have been very close to snapping at people lately as I think it's so rude not everyone likes to tell the world when they're ttc, hope your ok xx

Also wanted to send you a hug.

I have family dropping hints to me about "getting on with the next one" though they are no where near as bad as your family. Sorry it is taking so long.

You have been referred now so I would just relax until your appointment comes round. pinkie is right take a holiday and enjoy time as a couple.

Best of luck and keep your chin up.

The pressure from family is . I'm cross on your behalf. On the rare occasion I get a comment like that my stock response is "it's not always that easy". It usually shuts people up. It's taken over a year to get pg this time, and I had a mc in between. It's often not plain sailing.

Just wanted to send a hug - we're TTC at the moment and just about everyone I know is either pregnant, just had a baby, or have their families now. I tell myself that I am lucky to have my wonderful husband and that it'll happen when it's our time.

I think happilymarried's advice about 10 mins is great - will be doing that myself now!

Good luck X

Thank you all so much, put a smile on my face for a change. Pinkie, my cycle is abnormal never been regular in my life but they have already ruled out hormone imbalance. Ovulation kits are a bit hit and miss tbh and they cant to the ovulation tests on the 21st day as its never the same.

WhenSheWasBad, like to say first of all what an awsome name, my mother always said i was that little girl in the Mabel Lucy Atwell books when i was younger. The docs seem to be as confused as we are.

My partner has already had his fertility tested and he has been given the thumbs up, so i guess its down to me.

Bonzo, Congrats on the bump, I hope everything goes amazingly well for you :). The family are sometimes hard to deal with but my sister is quite empathetic with me, but i guess im just getting tired of the constant "it will be fine" even though it helped at first.

Nic - I have an amazing partner, he keeps my chin up for me and does make me giggle alot, hes my world. The 10 minutes thing has been working Happily Married. I am also trying ot keep busy so i dont dwell on it all day. Work helps with that.

I have to admit though i have been flicking over to the baby channels every now and then, but it makes me happy rather than said especially when its a couple in the same position and their bundle of joy finally comes.

You are all amazing :) thank you all :).

W x

That's good that your dp has been given the green light, fx that they can do some investigations and get you sorted quickly

Hi, we are past the 2 year mark for our 1st, and I find every month gets harder. We have been referred to a fertility clinic and I just wanted to reassure you. The staff were lovely, they did bloods for both, dh had a sperm test and I had an internal ultrascan. Unfortunately they won't investigate further until I have lost 2 stone. This is proving to be a challenge!

My main worry is that as we have not had an inkling of a pregnancy, it's not likely to happen, and I get very down about this.

I don't really have any advice but it did help hiding the Facebook baby updates and booking a fab holiday to look forward to!

wanttobe I am feeling the pressure from family too and some of their comments have been so cruel! Hope you get some answers and a lovely little one or two soon.

oneday I'm going for an ultrasound to get everything checked out. Hope they don't tell me to lose weight - how overweight are you?

I have to have a bmi of 30 to start treatment and investigation. Even for clomid which is usually the first type of treatment. Although my thyroid levels are fine, I have a high number of thyroid antibodies. Research suggests that this can have an impact of getting and maintaining a pregnancy. I managed to negotiate with go for thyroxine and as well as feeling great, this months period looks like it is a short one (they are usually 10 to 14 days) so I'm really hoping this is all that is needed.

Just calculated my BMI as 32, it was 28 before TTC but reckon Xmas and comfort eating from so many disappointments have taken their toll! Getting back on my bike whenever I see a sunny day. Got at least 4 weeks until my scan so maybe I can drop a bit of weight by then

Same as me, I wasn't overweight when we started but have put 4 stone on in 2 years. So weight could be the issue. It would be nice to be one of those ladies with a small bump rather than ballooning so losing the weight is good for my health and for when I get pregnant. My sil is very overweight and very pregnant and I don't want to suffer like she has!

oneday that sounds sensible. I think if I focus on being healthy I will be happier, distracted and more fertile. Cycled to work today (12 miles) with loads of stuff in my panniers and feel good for it. Feels like I was rewarded too as my letter for my appointment came through - 11th June. So much quicker than I expected I'm really impressed.

Hey guys, After a while of being away and numerous tests later i thought i might update you all. Well i finally foumd out the problem why we are having trouble conceiving. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome on Friday just passed. A few more tests to go and we will get given our options. Hopefully it will be the easy option and they can just give me hormones balncers to regulate my wee eggs. Fingers crossed. I must say though its such a releif to actually find out whats wrong with me...now just need to focus on fixing it and conceiving my own wee babba :) xxx

Wanttobeamummy, I'm so glad that you found out and can now starting moving in the right direction! Did you have any symptoms, Im not sure i too will be diagnosed with this! X

Well i was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes around about 3 months ago, i'm not overweight or anything and have a healthy lifestyle so came as a bit of a shock. Aparently with PCOS it generall effects woman who have a family history of diabetes especially type 2. other symptons such as not being able to conceive and irregular, light periods. Apparently its more common than you would think and most woman with PCOS can fall preganant naturally and never be diagnosed. I think it's best to go get it checked out Happilymarried . They were able to diagnose me with an internal ultrasound which lasted about 5 minutes. Just need to wait now to see what treatment i get depending on the severity of the PCOS. Oh and your doctor can also test blood for PCOS aswell.