Lack of conception, lack of interest...

[babybythesea]

I am posting wondering if there are any folk around who have seen their GP about failing to conceive no2, and got anywhere/nowhere with it?

We had dd1 3 years ago. I fell pregnant fast (as in, we had a conversation where we thought it was a good time to start trying, and two weeks later I took a test which came out positive!). I wanted an age gap of around 2.5 years so we started trying bang on when we wanted the new baby (plus nine months, obviously!) - after our previous experience I didn't dare start trying before we were completely ready. 16 months down the line and we've got nowhere.

In the meantime, I have discovered that various family members have also had issues conceiving - there do seem to be problems in the family, although everyone does seem to have finally achieved reproduction. So I visited my GP. Who basically said that since we have a child there is nothing they will do. If we are still trying after 2 years, go back, and they can run tests, but it is unlikely that they will do anything to help us even if the tests show up anything that could be helped (the reason given was that the NHS prioritise funding for those without any children, which does seem more than fair).

However, it does seem to be that if you struggled for no1, then you do get help for no2, and I don't know how common our situation is (managing one naturally and then it all grinding to a halt). If anyone has any experience in any of this I'd be grateful to hear them - feeling very defeated just at the moment, what with the grind of failing to conceive, finally getting DH to agree to seek help and then getting nowhere with it. And having that option taken away - I'd been conforting myself with 'Well, if it fails next time you can always start the process of getting it all checked out". Now that's gone, I'm left with endless repetitions of what has already failed us. If that makes sense.

There are others that have more direct experience who will be along shortly I'm sure, but I didn't want to leave your post unanswered -

You are entirely entitled to investigations and medical intervention should it be required; the only thing you're not now entitled to is IVF. You can still have an HSG, clomid, and things like that, I believe.

Most PCTs are waiting til you've been ttc for 2 years, now, I think, but if you find you still need assistance at 2 year mark, insist on tests and a referral (and it might be worth seeing a different GP!).

Thank you.
We probably wouldn't go down the IVF road anyway and I said so to the GP. But I asked directly about clomid and he said that he couldn't prescribe it - that would have to be done by a fertility clinic but that because we had a child we almost certainly wouldn't be accepted by a fertility clinic.
He said after 2 years we could go for tests but I can't see the point if he is also saying that nothing will come out of it.

I am so sorry you are having difficulties.

I have a DD wo we struggled hard to have, we were referred to the fertility clinic and after 17 months and a mc we were overjoyed to have her.

I knew convincing a second would be hard for us as I wasn't ovulating properly and had funny cycles so I went to the GP as soon as my periods came back and asked them to do the day 21 test which predictably came back abnormal. So we were referred to the clinic again.

When we did start trying we were shocked to get a BFP very quickly, which ended in another mc. We want for our fertility clinic appointment and the consultant agreed that due to the history and so on and despite having got pg three times we could still have clomid in six months time if nothing happened and we would be fast tracked to the RMC is another loss occurred and she made us an appointment to discuss clomid in six months then and there.

However, things progressed and I am now 19 weeks pg which was again, unexpected.

I hope you don't mind me sharing my story, I have told you because it shows that we were entitled to treatment despite having had a child and 'evidence of conception' .

Could you push for the basic tests at least and take it from there?

I wish you all the best and hope you have happy news to share very soon.

I'm having difficulty conceiving DC2 and have pushed and pushed with NHS; you do have a right to investigations whether you have a child or not. In the end I managed to get DP's SA done v easily, plus my cd21 test (all fine), but not a lot else... eg HSG etc.

In December I had a 'fertility MOT' done privately for £300. cd3 bloods and a scan at cd3 plus cd 18ish. It was well worth the spend. Could you find the money? (My results were quite encouraging - it turned out that we have male fertility issues...)

I think they took DP seriously because he went in on his own and requested SA. Could you try that approach?

Really feel for you. Secondary infertility is crappy (as is any kind of infertility of course) and I totally understand that you feel defeated. I think we have had at least 16 cycles TTC since I stopped B-fing DS too. I have pretty much given up on the NHS and will be pursuing treatment privately.

Good luck and sorry for your tough times.