Help out a newbie to this topic...where to begin with the simple stuff?

[HandMini]

Our DD was born last year. It took us exactly a year to conceive. I understand from friends (though never discussed with any HCPs) that this is longer an average? Anyone know anything about this and agree / disagree?

We are just starting to think about #2. This time round, we would like to be a bit more "targeted" in our shagging - last time we just did it as and when and I never really counted days or took temperatures etc.

Can someone start me out with some real basics...is it right that ovulation usually happens five days after last day of period? Best to shag before/during/after that day? And how does the temp thing work? Take temp every morning and when it dips = ovulation? Do I need a special thermometer?

Would be really grateful for some tips. I'm afraid I'm not the most organised in my personal life, so the simpler the better!

Thanks all, and best of luck to those on the same journey. Popping out now but checking back in this afternoon/evening.

Hi Handmini. Still getting my head round it myself but basically you should ovulate about half way through your period, so day 14 or so of a 28 day cycle. Everyone's different however so I think I ovulate around day 17-18. Sperm can apparently live for up to a week though waiting for the egg so my rule is start DTD at the end of your period then try and do it every other day at least until you're beyond the half way mark in your cycle (I get cramps that I think signals ovulation). Then sit and wait it out - that's the worst bit.
Temperature should go UP after Ovulation but temping doesn't work for me. You need to take temperature first thing before getting up and you need a digital thermometer to catch the rise as is very small - to notice it you need to take it throughout your cycle. Ovulation kits should predict when you're about to ovulate (you can get them very cheap on the internet or more expensive in boots) but they don't work for me either! But you should start DTD before you get a positive OPK result though because like I said sperm can live for up to a week but the egg is around only about 24 hours. Hence you could get pregnant from DTD a few days before you get positive ovulation test result.

The first thing to do is to have a good idea when you ovulate. It varies in everyone and can vary from month to month in the individual. If you really want to be targeted in your shagging buy a CBFM - expensive but effective and you can sell again and get a good price on ebay (or buy second-hand from there - mine was £70 inc P&P and some peesticks). This will tell you the optimum days for shagging because it measures the hormones that trigger ovulation. It tells you when shagging can stop too.

If you don't want technology then have sex every other day after your period ends and up until approx 10 days before your period is due. If you are irregular then this should be 10 days before your longest period. This is the advice for people without known fertility problems (in the man or woman).

1 year TTC isn't terribly long (depending on your age and your approach!) and you seem quite relaxed about it from the tone of your post. If you were TTC very hard and hitting all the fertile days and still nothing was happening then that might have indicated a problem...

To answer the question about the conception time, 80% of couples conceive within a year so you were the tail end of 'normal' range.
I tend to ovulate around cd12 and have a 26 day cycle. I know this because I temp. Temping is fairly involved and requires commitment to take your temp the same time each day and can be affected by night waking so it might be affected by your getting up for DD - how old is she? If you really want to be informed about recognising fertile signs, how to chart etc I always recommend this book It's incredibly informative!
But I would warn against too much pressure ttc too soon. For the first few months I would recommend having sex three times a week, every week of your cycle. This prevents a sense of 'timing' intercourse and putting too much pressure on both of you. Initially you should just enjoy the sex! :) good luck ttc.

Thanks everyone, what nice posts.

My DD is 10 and (touch wood) not waking in the night any more, so my sleep is fairly regular.

Last time I was 30 and our approach was "Lets just have sex without contraception until we have a baby". I am still relaxed about it, but I guess I am trying to engineer it a but more this time.

I reckon following the sex every other day from the day period ends up until 10 days before period due date would be a good enough start, then maybe will move on to temperature after a few months of trying that.

I am taking folic acid, just in case, but still drinking the odd glass of wine or two at weekends.

Depending on how and when you were dtd in your year of relaxed trying, you might have hit your fertile window in all 12 months or only the last one (or somewhere in the middle). So you can't really know if you were really at the tail end of the one year "normal" window at this point.

I'd recommend taking a fairly relaxed approach again for as long as you can, because obsessing about ttc is just horrible. Having lots of swi from the end of your period until about 10 days before you expect the next one is good advice. If you want to get more scientific about it, there is temping and ovulation predictor kits, but I wouldn't start with those in your shoes. You know you can get pregnant so start off having regular sechs and see what happens.

I reckon we were not DTD that often in the year of "relaxed trying" as it seems to have been christened!

Probably only once a week on average.

Again, I'm not really sure whether that's often or not often. I suspect it's less often than a couple seriously TTC. We were both busy and working so not really focused on it other than in blips of time.

Oh and we didn't have sex on specific dates...just as and when so probably nit hitting fertile period. I thought the statistic that it takes a year in average to conceive was based on having sex whenever and not on having sex on your fertile dates.

At most there are around 5 consecutive days per month leading up to ov and on the day of ov when you can get pregnant (if you are both healthy and not ancient ) and you must have hit one of these days in your once every 7 days sexlife to get pg and even then the chance of getting pg is said to be one in four. For serious TTC you would be aiming for 3 x per week minimum or knowing exactly when you ov...

I agree with others - if you can stay relaxed you are in a better camp.

Of corse there exceptions to the rule (delayed ov might happen eg) but that's generally how it works!

Gosh, had no idea it was so few days per month. Or I guess per cycle, which may well be longer than a month. Thanks again all, I may become a regular on this board depending on how things go.

Well - 5 days at most. As you get older the female bits are less welcoming to the spermies (it's to do with 'fertile cervical mucus' - yum) and your lucky days can drop down to only a couple close to ov. Fun, fun, fun. If you're looking for some regs to talk to then look out for the 'brooking no argument' thread. x

Yes - you're right should have written per 'cycle'! See you're getting the lingo very quickly!

Ah, so thats what that thread is about...I had wondered.

I'm using Fertility Friend .com following advice from others here. It is helpful but it makes you (me, anyway) really flipping obsessive [ grin]

I mean!