Wonky periods and unreliable technology, fed up with ttc

[mummmypirate]

Been off the pill for 9 months, had regular 28 day cycles but since seriously TTC no.3 since Xmas my cycles have got longer and longer: 29, 31, 34 and this month I'm on cd 36 with no sign of AF of BFP. The really frustrating thing is that OPKs and CBFM are both detecting LH surges (at same time) but then my AF turns up really late which makes me think I'm not even releasing an egg when I think I am. Feeling dispirited, don't know whether to dump the CBFM and OPKs entirely. How can I get my lovely, reliable 28 day cycle and day 14 ovulation pattern back? I know it can take several months to hit the jackpot but the huge gap between my supposed ovulation date and AF is driving me nuts!

Don't want you to be unanswered, my advice might be a bit rubbish but this is my penny's worth. Perhaps you should give the OPKs a miss, they don't seem to be helping any. I'm a bit biased because I dumped them, different issue, but just became a pain and worry.
My understanding is that a 16 day LP is on the longer side of normal, how does that fit with your supposed ov?
I know there is a lot of info around about natural methods to regulate cycles, I have no personal experience though as the only thing I have going right is cycle length and regularity!

I appreciate your reply. If the OPks and CBFM were correct there were 19 days between O and AF - doesn't sound right does it?

No it doesn't, seems too long. I imagine you may have been ov-ing later despite what the pee machines think. Have you ever tried temping? I have some observations on that if you are interested.

Would love to hear your thoughts on temping - that's my next strategy and splashed out on a new themometer this very afternoon! Please share all your wisdom x

It takes a little getting used to but I like it in some weird way; as opposed to all that holding pee in the afternoon and weeing on sticks, temp first thing in the morning seems easy (I have a toddler as well but not a big deal, Just must be the very first thing you do and at more or less the same time). I suggest fertilityfriend.com, I use the free version (you can pay for some bells and whistles if you wish), they have tons of lessons and Q and A. Honestly its best to have a bit of time on your hands in the beginning to get your head around it.
The temp rise shows you that ovulation has already occured (and so 'too late') but I find that I know my own chart now and I ovulate each month on one of three days, so the shag week starts a couple of days before the first possible and ends with thankfully at the temp rise

sent that by mistake...but that's the general idea and fertilityfriend site has more than you could need to know....Good luck!

I would also advise dumping the opk and just ensure you are dtd every other day that way you have no chance of missing your fertile days! I too got really caught up with counting days, temping etc...and realised that I wasnt increasing my chances of becoming pregnant just my stress levels! Good luck xxx

It's true if temping causes stress there is little point. I don't find it stressful at all, I kind of like knowing where I'm at. I should also point out that if you miss a day it's not the end of the world, it's the pattern not the individual temps that count. I read recently a fancy doctor on temping who said if you get to sleep longer at weekends you should not set an alarm as plenty of sleep was more useful to TTC than temping perfectly.

Hi mummypirate, I would really recommend that you seek the advice of a Fertility Awareness Practitioner. They will be able to give you really sound advice and assess what is happening with your cycles, as well as looking at managing the inevitable stress that comes with trying to conceive. As a Fertility Awareness practitioner myself, I am afraid that I don't rate many of the online sites a great deal, however there is some benefit in gaining a certain amount of knowledge from them. I would suggest taking a look at the Fertility UK website, they are the national experts in the field and also have a list of all registered practitioners and you may find that one of us is local to you. In the meantime, I am more than happy to answer any questions if that helps. Lots of good luck!

Wikipedia have a brief-ish, reliable coverage of the menstrual cycle and the LP. From this, you can see many, many women don't have a 28 cycle, and LPs are very variable too. Normally the LP is regular for each woman however, and I would ask you if yours was the same length (irrespective of overall CL variation). I may start TTC #2 in a few months so am monitoring my temp. I have a regular LP of 19 days and CL varies by 3/4 days each month. A very short LP (under 12 days) may not help conception (I was worried about this as I bf and this can lead to shorter LPs), but I haven't read anything about longer LPs and fertility effects.

As you've only been trying properly since Xmas, then I personally wouldn't think there was a problem . Good luck in any case of course and keep shagging!

Hello ladies, thank you for replying. Day 39 and still no AF. I'm definitely going to give temping a go - at least then I have some chance of knowing whether O is actually occuring once I've had a +ve OPK. I guess I'm thrown because everything's always been very predictable up until last few months. I did have coldy/virus thing just as I got LH surge this month so perhaps that accounts for the egg not actually being released. How much longer could that delay AF though? At what point should I speak to a dr? Patience is not my strong point.