Stopping 'TTC' and leaving it to chance.....

[makinglemonade]

DH and I have never pined to have children but have been ttcing as we think it would be a natural step for us and our relationship.

We've been ttcing for awhile and haven't used contraception for 4 years. Ive become a little obsessed with the whole TTC thing more from the point that once I start something I have to do well at it and have sucked the Romance out of things.

We had a long talk today and realised that the added Pressure is hurting our relationship so have decided to take a 'if it happens it happens' approach to it.

I'm fine wig this decision as it was never my life's ambition to be a mother but a part of me worries that I'll regret it in years to come.

Not sure why I'm posting really, maybe just to get another opinion.

Hi Making lemonade. I've also been ttc 4.5 ttc and interested in yr post. What investigations , tests or treatment have you done if any? Have you been charting? Do you know what yr issue is?

We are unexplained and I find it so infuriating not to know why.

I think I'd find it hard to take a lets see approach just because for me I wouldnt think about it any less. I think I'd have to accept it wasn't going to happen in order to move on. But its something I always thought would be at the centre of my life.

Hi there,

We decided to stop TTC about 18 months ago after a couple of years of heartache involving miscarriages. It was the best decision we ever made. Rather than watching the calendar and having sex according to a spreadsheet, we now live our lives for each other. I honestly couldn't tell you where I am in my cycle today.

My dad is less than thrilled that we've given up, but that's his problem.

You need to think of you and your DH. The last 18 months have been our best ever, we revel in being irresponsible godparents and auntie and uncle but honestly do not regret our decision for a moment.

Don't know if this ramble is helpful, but it's my 2p worth. Good luck to you.

Hi ladies, thanks for sharing your experiences with me. Carebear to answer your qs we haven't had any tests or treatment. We have charted and in regular as clockwork. DH has a cist on his testicle that's been there for years, it's not dangerous but he has been told it make affect his fertility. He can have it removed but the surgery cones with fertility risks also so he has decided to leave as is as its not causing him pain.

I'm a career girl and I've never had a yearning to be a mother and DH has never had strong feelings that he should bd a father, I think we are feeling the pressure of expectation more than anything.

We are both 32 and are happy in our own world which lots of people don't understand. His family all gave dcs and have never considered that we won't have any. We have stopped attending big family events as the constant expectation is irritating. My mum would be heartbroken if we don't have a child as she sees me as her only chance of being a proper grandma.

I don't want to do it for others, I want to do what's right for us. Just scared I'll get to 45 and regret not trying harder.

I think in most situations in life you can look back and wonder if you did the right thing. I think the only thing you can do is make the decision that's right for you at the time, then look back with confidence you did the right thing. Even if you regretted it 5% of the time the other 95% you might be utterly happy with your decision. 32 isn't that old if u did change your mind.

We were sliding into the must c routine with ds1 until I called a halt to it, we had been trying for 11 months (not that long but feels like always and the docs had said to come back after a year). I fell pregnant immediately!

With ds2 we let nature take its course and even with erratic periods it only took a couple of months.

For our own sanity we refused to "try" second time around and just enjoyed the sex. If its meant to be it will be.