TTC#2- SA results, investigations etc- what next? What can we do?

[hellotreeshellosky]

Hi all,

I use a different name on these boards because I am easily outed in my RL name and while I don't mind telling people we are TTC I don't think they need the details!

DS is 2.5 and was conceived in the second cycle. We haven't used contraception since he was born, and we've been actively TTC for well over a year. My cycles are usually about 32-33 days and EWCM indicates I ovulate around day 18ish. This varies and we try to SWI regularly for about 10 days. I didn't get much luck with OPKs so stopped bothering after a few months.

I have had day 21 bloods which were 'normal' apparently and indicate I am ovulating. DH has had two SAs so far, the first was very low, the second was better but still low. He has had a scan and is going back shortly for blood tests and another more detailed SA (think he may get more attached to the plastic pot than to me!)

We went private for DH's consultation, but the doc recommended that I get my tubes checked, so I guess that will be another trip to GP for a referral and then a long wait or another private consult. He also suggested I may have 'hostile mucus', do they check you for that too?

Soooo, we are both going to lose a bit of weight, cut right down on booze and take the relevant vitamins. I am going to get back on OPKs and take my temp, and get us some preseed. Is there anything else we could do? What has worked for you?

Finally I suppose I am reaching out for a bit of emotional support. I have found it tough the last few months, one month I really thought I was PG (was on the 2WW thread) but no. Then I thought I would be the problem, and I think I would find that easier to cope with, tbh I am finding is hard to support DH and he really needs support. The more stressed he gets the more difficult it is for him to ahem 'perform' when necessary, and then he gets more stressed etc etc.

Just needed to write down what I am feeling and get some advice. Thanks for reading if you have got this far! I don't seem to get on here often enough to keep up with all the lovely supportive threads but I will try to join one as part of my new regime (which DH refers to as baby bootcamp ).

I know how lucky I am to have DS and I am grateful. Good luck to everyone for this month.

Work on your mental imagery and mind-body connection. I have advised 4 women friends (informally, I'm not a professional as regards fertility!) who were having problems conceiving and this worked in each case.
At the start and end of each day, stay very relaxed and picture the process of an egg inside you and your husband's sperm joining with it. Then picture the fertilised egg snugly burying itself into your womb. Make the pictures as bright and clear as you can - your womb rich, red and nourishing as it welcomes and surrounds the egg etc. As much as you can, be positive - a mind scatter/mindmap created with DH about all the brilliant things in life you have to be grateful for will help and you can look at this when you feel down. Good luck!

Thank you Wiggins for your reply. I will try it. I haven't had time to get on here in last week or so, sorry for responding to you late.

Hello where was your dh seen? Asking as we also have ds yr older as 2007 not great may last yr v similar but now 2 with dreadful results. We were having ivf anyway but huge change needs investigation not sure where to go. We were recommended menevit for sperm have to get it online not done it yet

Oops SA not as

Hi Hellotrees
I'm new to these message boards but I just saw your post and I'm in a similar situation.
Been ttc #2 for 11 months and I'm getting really stressed out and it seems to be on my mind all the time - sometimes I feel like I'm going insane!
My DS is 2.5 months. Conceived on cycle 2, so I thought I would get pregnant really quickly again with the 2nd, but nothing yet.
I have had blood test at docs and she says I'm fine and ovulating, but she only did the day 2-3 tests not day 21. DH has had sperm test and he is ok, a little low but nothing to be concerned about.
So I don't understand why it hasn't happened yet.
I was thinking about going back to the docs next month (I told them I've been ttc for longer than I have), and see what else they can do. I was also thinking about seeing someone privately. Do you know if I have to get a referal from my docs first or can I just go to a private clinic?
I know I should be more patient but it's hard as I really want my DS to have a sibling.

Ooops, DS is 2.5 years (2.5 months would be a bit scary to be trying again for the next one!)

Hi bugsy and Peggy, thanks for responding.

DH was just seen at our local private hospital by a urologist recommended by our GP. He is still waiting on the results of the detailed SA but has been diagnosed with varicoceles and we are trying to weigh up getting them treated as against going straight to 'assisted reproduction' although of what type I am not sure. Not sure yet if IUI is an option and considering seeing a fertility specialist for a second opinion as to the varicocele op.

peggy I understand how you feel. I so wanted DS to have someone close in age. He was premature and is a little behind and I thought it might help him. Also, from my own selfish pov I wanted my children close together so I could be at home with them and then get back into my career. I feel so sad for DS. And I have had plenty of insane months obsessing about symptoms but I am trying to have a break from that. (Although I am expecting AF any minute so it's an obsessive sort of week...)

My mum is also very unwell and I have other stuff going on in the family. DH is very apprehensive about potential surgery on a sensitive area and I don't feel I have anything left to support him. I am having a whingey day but I feel like I am doing my best for everyone but noone is supporting me!

Sorry for whining, just needed to offload a bit.

Hello all

I think there's a few of us in the same boat. My DS was conceived 2nd cycle when I was 37 even though I was expecting it all to take ages. He's 2.1 now and we've been trying hard for over a year. SA in Jan showed low motility in particular; I seem to be ok despite my old age. We are trying acupuncture, no booze and man vits for 3 months... Next SA due in a week.

I have also been advised to hold off SWI during luteal phase for at least a week (giving sperm a chance to 'regroup') then try to have sex as close to ov as possible - we are trying this method for the next few months.

Assisted conception is an option but it's worth giving your OH's a chance to respond to any treatment or lifestyle changes first before you rush into expensive procedures which don't guarantee a BFP. It takes 3 months for a sperm to 'get made' so it's not a quick process. If you are still fairly young this seems to make sense?

Sending you all good vibes because it is upsetting - v upsetting. I'm 40 now so get quite panicky sometimes, but am trying to be positive. At least we have our DCs.

xxx

Hi beangrower sorry you are finding it tough too. I found your message very positive and have been thinking things through and calming down a bit! So thank you. I am leaning towards DH getting the varicocele repair (his choice of course) and trying healthy lifestyle for a few months, then we will see where we are. Consultant was very positive about the repair and says he gets lots of calls saying 'I don't need to come back for SA, my wife is pregnant' but Dr Google is not quite so positive! I am 34 so we don't have to rush I guess. DH is 39. We had a good chat about stuff yesterday and am feeling better all round. I am going to try the tip about letting them regroup too, can't hurt!

You are right, we are so lucky to have our DCs. Sending good swimming vibes to you and your DH too.

Hi there treesnsky - that sounds really positive and I'm glad I managed to help a bit (you can now tell me to buck up too and listen to my own advice ). I do understand that you are having a very upsetting time. It's the monthly reminders that are such a killer; and the men aren't hostage to their hormones like we are (I turn into the devil incarnate when AF does her worst). And when your mum is unwell too... it's especially hard to feel upbeat. We're dealing with such big issues - family, mortality, hopes and wishes. Poor you; you have my sympathy.

I've been through some pretty rotten experiences in my life but secondary infertility is up there as horrible mind-fockers go, I'd say.

I've read that the variocele (sp?!) treatment can make a big difference so I really do hope that helps. At least you have the diagnosis. My OH had a nasty rugby bash to the crown jewels (resulted in an operation) when he was 18 and I suspect that's part of the issue but there's not been much mention of getting him seen in the NHS system. Tbh I am still utterly dumbfounded by the fact that we got our DS somewhat too quickly 3 years ago; lighting struck (and could even strike twice whatever they say)!

I think your ages 34/39 are good and young, and I really do believe that with the lifestyle changes you will get there, and if not you can turn to the assisted conception route anyway so keep it there as a comforting option. In the meantime you get to enjoy quality time with you little one and when the next one comes along what a true feeling of joy you will have.

40/43 scares me a little but you know I'm in the mums' club finally (after years of waiting to find the right feller before even contemplating a pg) so it's time to let go and make the most of it.

Oh and our acupuncturist (TCM) swears she will sort us before we get anywhere near a fertility clinic. I had lots when I was pg and I had a wonderful time and v good birth. I've been having it for fertility for ages but DP has only had 3 months so I'm hoping that it will be taking effect from this month. Even the NHS consultant I saw was fairly positive about it (though pretty negative about our chances of another).

Really good luck; try to keep patient and you will get your snuggly newborn again. xxx

Hi beangrower, thanks again for such upbeat supportive messages! Friends of ours tried acupuncture for fertility reasons and were positive about it too, I might do some investigating. I'm sorry the consultant was not positive about your chances. Anecdotal I know but a friend of mine with a history of unexplained infertility and previous IVF has just found herself unexpectedly pregnant at the age of 42. So I am hopeful for you .

We are lucky that DH has private medical cover through work and though it will not cover assisted conception it did cover DH's tests and investigations and it will cover his op. Hopefully he will have it in the next few weeks. It was an ultrasound that gave the diagnosis, perhaps someone would be willing to refer your DH for one? We were told varicoceles come with age and I have read one report saying 80% of men with secondary infertility have them.

Yes this sure does mess with your mind. I was prepared to wait some time for DS and was surprised to be so lucky, and then I really wasn't prepared for problems second time around. It seems that every mum I know is pregnant or has already had their second as well! Still I have had my whiney week and this week I will be positive and we will be healthy and keep trying!

And of course lightning can strike twice- it only takes one doesn't it! Lots of luck to you and your DH x