TTC after 17 year gap...

[Kayoe]

To cut a long story short, I had my daughter when I was 19, split up from her Dad after a few years, got married again (to a heavy drinker/cannabis user) and had 4 m/c (all early - before 7-8 weeks) whilst with him. Now have new partner and we have decided to TTC. I'm now 36, he's 40. I'm worried about 2 things:

1. My age - how much is this going to affect conception, and

2. My recent(ish) history of m/c. I sailed through my pregnancy at 19, no problems at all, but my pregnancy history since then is scaring me. I really don't think I could go through all that again. No medical reasons for any of them, was checked out at the time. Just 'one of those things'.

Anyone got any advice for me, or am I bricking it unnecessarily? Or just mad?!
Sorry for length!

Hi Kayoe

The age question is random. I didn't get together with the right partner until I was late 36 (although we've known each other over 20 years). We got pregnant almost straight away after moving in together and I gave birth at home to a very healthy little boy when I had just turned 38 and just before DP's 41st b-day. He's a gorgeous 2yo now and the best thing either of us ever did.

Sorry about the MCs - but remember you need good sperm as well as eggs to make a healthy baby (and perhaps your previous partner's addictions were a problem). I recommend that both you and your new partner have a very healthy 3 months (and both take pre-conception vitamins) before you even get going on the baby-making business. Alcohol and drugs are pretty much a no-no during TTC - if you ask me, although I'm sure the odd drink won't make too much difference.

Good luck and try not to worry too much. If it's meant to be it will happen; otherwise you could just have a wonderful time together without any nappy duties!

xxx

Thanks beangrower, its nice to hear of someone my age conceiving naturally and and it not taking an age! I do think my ex-p's dependancy issues played a part in m/cs, but didn't want to say it outright.

I'm going to broach the subject of preconception vitamins with DP (I think he'll be up for it!), and have ordered some for me. Even if things don't happen quickly (or at all), I'm sure we'll have a whale of a time trying

x

Kayoe sorry to hear about your mcs. But how lovely that you have a nice dp now - mine took a few years to turn up too

It might be worth going to your gp and asking for some pre ttc tests - I believe available to anyone having 3 consecutive mcs. Will either put your mind at rest or highlight anything where you may need a bit of help. Next of luck