BFP. Terrified of MC. Hand hold??

[SleepyCaz]

Hi

Have been TTC DC3 for 2 years. Have DS age 5 and DD age 3. Had 2 MC's in the gap between DS and DD, and have had 2 MC's since DD. Have been under Prof Siobhan Quenby's recurrent miscarriage clinic since September last year, have found out that my thyroid was a bit loopy so am now on 50mg Thyroxine a day.

Friday I had two REALLY faint BFPs. Am over the moon but terrified. I'm on CD30 today. I am convinced that every time I go to the loo there will be blood :(

DH keeps telling me to calm down, but I can't. Haven't POAS'd since because I'm so sure it's going to be a chemical preg/early loss. I wish I could be happy and calm, but I am terrified and so pessimistic (sp).

I have a telephone number that was given to me by Prof Quenby's clinic. It's for when/if you discover you're pregnant and she will arrange to scan you personally at 6 weeks gestation.

The two or three days leading up to my BFP's, I had lower back and stomach pains, also going into my hips/legs. EXACTLY how my period pains usually are. Am still having the odd twinge now and again. Am so convinced I'm going to MC. I can't relax and feel like it would almost be a relief for it to happen soon, instead of hanging over me like a black cloud.

I'm so wound up, I should be ecstatic, but I'm miserable and panicked.

Sorry that was so long.

:(

PS Meant to write... I daren't phone the clinic for scan, because it will be tempting fate and as soon as I make the appt, I will MC that day. I feel like I'm going crazy.

I still have the HPT's. Keep getting them out and looking at them, to checkk the lines are still there :(

Thanks QT. I was on one of the original JS threads a long while ago, but was worried I was bringing everyone down, so stopped posting. Good luck with DC2, same to all the other viroids :)

Feel for you, have just got a positive test after 2 chemical pregnancies and can't allow myself to relax. Well, I tell myself to calm down but like you every time I go to the loo I panic a little. Really hope it all works out for you this time.

Thanks Fuscia. Good luck to you too :)

QT, hadn't thought of it like that thank you.
Have a pretty busy week ahead so hoping it keeps my mind active, if not 'off things' so to speak. Thanks again.

Xxx

Hi sleepycaz - I'm 6+1 with dc1 and had 2 chemical pregnancies in jan and feb of this year. I really feel for you because I've been a bit bonkers too.

I have a scan on Sunday when I'll be 7 weeks. Too scared to say to anyone bar dh at the moment. Even my mum and sister which is crazy as we are very close but I'm petrified of jinxing things.

I'm just trying to take things one day at a time. We've had tears here too due to "period pains" but no bleeding so I think this must be normal. Hoping so.

I'm just now saying to myself that I'm very lucky in that today I am pregnant and just to focus on today. My dh is a huge support too