Overly sensitive!

[blondel]

Do other people really get you down? I feel like a bit of a rant so I hope you don't mind!

We've been married just over two years and it seems like everyone expected us to have kids straight away. Secretly we've been trying for about 18 months and the only person that knows is my best pal and now MN!

It's really insensitive when people start to quiz you but then I think I could be bringing it on myself for not telling anyone! Sadly I've now taken to avoiding conversations and some of my colleagues at lunch. I'm becoming a recluse!

One of the guys I work with got married recently and I walked in on a conversation today about him and I having a race about who would be first to conceive! Fortunately he saw me coming through the door and said "I wouldn't come in here just now you might get embarrassed!" Try absolutely fuming and ready to blow!

Rant over..... Ah! That feels much better.... Maybe I'm overly sensitive just now!

I know how you feel. We got married a year ago, people are always asking when we are having children, doesn't help everyone I know is pregnant! A family member actually told me to 'get a move on!!' I wanted to shout I've been trying for a year thank you very much!
People don't think about what they are saying sometimes and how hurtful it can be, I just try and brush it off and say we are too busy enjoying being married! I'm just hoping it will happen for us soon, fingers crossed for you too! I'm going to give it a couple of months and go to the doctors!

Good luck and try not to let it upset you :)

I completley sympathise.

I usually respond to such impertinence of "You'll be next" along the lines of "I do hope so; in fact, if you'd just shove the sofa to one side DH and I could get going now - we promise to take care of the carpet."

Usually stops any further pointy comments, can't think why?!

My standard response it.... 'I hope it will be us next. We have been trying long enough and getting pregnant isn't as easy as one might think.'. Usually shuts them up.

You are not being overly sensitive. It's bloody irritating and rude. The one I hate the most is "you really shouldnt leave it much longer you know". It always surprises me how people don't seem to think when they come out with stupid comments like this. I just want to scream "we've been trying for 2 years so go and preach to someone else!"

it's SO rude and insensitive. But some people genuinely think getting pregnant is as simple as "trying for a baby" then bam you're up the duff. It doesn't get much better after you do get pregnant unfortunately, the first thing my MIL said when we told her was "About bloody time!", um yes I know. We'd been trying for over a year and had a mc in that time which nobody knew about. sadly we lost that baby too and now whilst nobody is saying anything I feel they're checking me out for pregnancy signs all the time......

I just say something like "it doesn't happen for everyone straight away you know" and find that tends to shut them up! It gets the message across that you are most likely trying and struggling without having to go into details.

Sunshinesue is right. I wonder if all women of child bearing age in a long term relationship get this hassle. I have a 15 month old ds and regularly find myself having to convince family/friends that I'm not pregnant. "no, I'm just tired cos the baby kept me up" or "I just don't fancy a drink, honest" ffs, mind your own business!!

Thanks girls! In some ways it's good to know it isn't just me. Maybe people should stick to discussing the weather or last nights' tv when they're at work!

Chairofthebored - I like saying for them to move the sofa lol!

My MIL was one of the worst recently. We got a new car (small car) and she said "how long's the finance for?"

Me "four years"

MIL "but you won't get a buggy in!"

Me "ARGHHHH..." at least into myself!

Thanks for the ideas!

Sunshinesue - that's awful. Some things should be private and no one should feel they have the right to an opinion.

I told my OH about this thread. He didn't think his mum would react well to us moving the sofa! To be fair it's the only thing she's came outright and said. My issue is with work people... Time to change jobs?! That would be extreme avoidance!