I think I want a third. DH doesn't.

[NotInMyDay]

Sorry I'm not sure if this is the right place for this.

I have two DCs already. Youngest is just 1. We both said we only wanted two. I did not enjoy my second pregnancy at all.

For the past few months I feel I may want a third. Sometimes it's so strong like an ache and others it's more of a 'will I regret it of I don't' or 'is a family of four boring'?

DH really does not want another. Do I?

What to do!!

Hi there.
I feel exactly the same as you!!
I have two DC one 5 and one 3. I just have the same feeling that I will regret it, like my family is not complete. It also seems as if everyone around me is pregnant! I don't feel jealous or anything, I just feel I would like to have another one too.

However, everything seems to point to be it being a bad idea. I am just getting back into work. My body is recovering slowly. I feel as if I have more of a social life. Also, My DH REALLY does not want another, not a bit!

The other day we go a little carried away after a night drinking and he is now completely worried I might be pregnant. I know I am probably not but it is making me think I could be. I keep thinking about names etc... I am so sad! Also I am just getting my hopes up when secretly I know my DH would be really upset if I did get pregnant.

Anyway, I am not sure that we really can do anything. If DH is not keen we can't change their mind. I think I will just have to try and accept that I have a family of 4 and two wonderful beautiful children. I am very lucky!

I wouldn't worry yet tbh - your youngest is only 1, perhaps DH isn't over your horrible pg? Give it another year and have another chat with DH?

I really sympathise. DH and I have no children through his choice. It's really hard, regardless of how many you already have - and I've certainly discussed it with a lot of people! In my experience, a lot of men come round in the end, so don't lose hope.

NotInMyDay
Yes I was going to say, it is still really early days yet as your youngest is only 1. The first year is such hard work and it does take a while to recover.

I think that is why only now I am think I would like another.

leftwing
Wow, it must be so hard for you. The desire to have children is so powerful and so you must be so strong as your DH does not want any. Do you think he will change his mind?

Left wing
If I have to be happy with my two then I will because at least I have them and they have each other. Feel like a tit for moaning now.

TBF a good friend of mine on here is in the exact same position but already has one DC. I honestly think its worse for her, always thinking of the increasing age gap, thinking of DC missing out on a sibling, knowing what she's missing, and none of the benefits of being childless.

Woose I hope so. He's always saying we'll have them some day, but not yet.

Ah well that sounds as if he may change his mind. Do his friends have any children? If they all start to have children then he may start to feel his clock ticking a bit.

Yes quite a few have children. Some are at secondary school!

Anyway enough I'm not hijacking - just wanted to say I've seen this situation turn round loads of times so OP should hang in there! I am.