Think the 'we'll see what happens' approach is not enough...

[mytime777]

Thinking of staring to monitor my cycles etc and try to work out when i ovulate.
What's the best way?
( I've been doing it by counting back 14 days from 1st day if period but not sure if that's 100% accurate)
Should I be buying kits, pee sticks etc ? Pls help- what's worked for you?

Hi,
You won't always ovulate on day 14, most months I don't ovulate till day 18, this month day 12- it can vary! The only thing that stays the same is your luteal phase. I use the clearblue digital opk (much much cheaper on amazon) they have always been really good, use them at 2pm each day from day 10 till I get my smiley face. You can get cheaper opk but I have read alot of posts on here with people struggling to read lines etc...hope that helps :)

One of my many fertility doctors told me that statistically women who use OPKs get pregnant no faster/ more efficiently than women who don't.

Apologies, I have no link to back that up. But he was a top notch professor type who said that unless you have serious reasons for thinking you are infertile, you are best served by just trying naturally and not monitoring. It sounds counter- intuitive, but again- OPKs don't, overall, make the process more quick-fire and can lead to people assuming they have problems when they don't.

I am lucky to be able to feel when I ovulate. I always have done since I was a teenager. I can feel both sides. It helped with we were TTC.

Well gardenpixies I get a dull ache in My right ovary around the time but not every month and the bfp hasnt happened yet when we have been dtd around that time.
Only on my right side funnily enough. I also get cm too.

Just looked on eBay at the fertility tests and found ultra early ovulation tests (20mIu) 50 x £7.95 incl postage. Is this good and do they actually work?
Do u just use them the week when ovulation is due?

I am 7 months pregnant and fell when I got no lines - try and just have lots of sex from day 10 onwards (every other day) and try not to worry. I am a great believer that stress is a massive cause of infertility. With my first I thought if nothing by Christmas then would go down this route but there was no need (although I appreciate I am lucky).

There is no link between stress and infertility, other than being stressed makes it harder to have sex.

I have seen it repeated many times on here, having enough sex is enough basically!!! Couples that DTD 2-3 times a week get pregnant.. That's every week. So start as soon as you can from AF and don't stop until AF and you should get lucky. Even young, fit, problem-free couples can take a few months, it is just chance really.

If you've been actively 'trying' by having LOTS of sex throughout the month for 6 months then you might want to think about charting or whatever, but just DTD whenever you feel like it is key.

Good luck!

There is only one way to get pg naturally. Have sex. Every second day from day 10 til your period comes. if you have a 28 day cycle, that's only 9 shags, so not too much effort. If you are able to pin point the day you ovulate you can shag more frequently round that time, but definitely keep going for a few days after. The first time I got pg we just shagged 2-3 times a day for 10 days, we were on honeymoon, so pretty easy to do that! The second time it took 7 months, the last 4 of which I was using CBFM. That ended in a mc, and we are trying again and on cycle 3. I am using CBFM, charting temps and CM.

Oh doh, that doesn't answer your question.....

To maximise your chances you need to know when you are going to ovulate in advance of the event, and then confirm that it has definitely happened (because once it has you don't need to continue SWI). You can predict ov'n using OPKs, checking CM, saliva and your cervix, and with CBFM. You can confirm ovulation by a sustained thermal shift when charting BBT. Have a look at the Fertility Friend website for more information. If you are very regular, charting alone will give you enough info, but if not, the extra information from OPKs etc is reassuring.

Armed with this info, you shag every second day until you get a positive OPK, a high (or a peak if no highs) on the CBFM or you notice EWCM. Then you go daily till your BBT chart confirms ovulation. I sound like an expert....too much googling!

And bear in mind that women who chart get pregnant no sooner than women who don't. I'm going to keep saying this even though I feel like I'm howling in the wind.

A massive industry has built up around the paraphernalia of fertility monitoring and it is almost impossible to google the subject without finding websites that have something vested in telling you that kits and charting are the way forward. I'm not saying don't use it- but often the process of 'quasi- medicalisation' (for example people are now referring to ttc 'cycles' using a term that was reserved for people undergoing formal treatment) can have unforseen impact on your life/ relationship/ sanity. Just be aware of that.

I think you should read Taking charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler . It's really informative about recognising your own fertility, gives advice about using opks and charting. It really helped me.

Although there are lots of people here saying that charting etc makes no difference and all you need to do is shag every other day, and it is true, charting can help you feel in control and make you think you are taking an active part.

I have bought Fertility Friend VIP, a BBT thermometer, and cheap OPKs from Amazon. Yes I have spent money, but not much. Its things like the £500 thermometer thingy that anger me.

I also echo what was said by Barbi It can harm your sanity and relationship, but then also can months of SWI with no result.

barbi the cycles I am referring to are menstrual cycles. Most women of child bearing age have them, whether on fertility treatments or not. They are a period of time with a obvious and natural start and end point, and a bit in the middle where theoretically one can get pg. When TTC one does get a bit focused on the process. Knowing your body and menstrual cycle is not medicalising the process, for most of us it's an attempt to not medicalise it but instead to make the most of what nature provides. The term "cycle" as used in fertility treatments refers to an artificial attempt to mimic a natural menstrual cycle.

Rant over, for now....

pibkin and I echo you, charting can help you feel in control and make you think you are taking an active part well said. Oh and whatever the cost of FF VIP etc, it's less than the cost of the fags and booze I have cut out to TTC!

Thank you Bonzo.
I think the problem is that we are used to deciding that we want x (a new job, lose weight, buy something), so we do y to achieve it (apply for jobs or re train, go on a diet, go shopping). However with TTC we decide we want a baby, often after a long discussion and soul searching, and expect it to happen. The charting makes us feel that we are doing something.

Here is my chart: www.fertilityfriend.com/home/pipbin. Fertility Friend is excellent and they have an iPhone app so you can chart on the go.

Yes I see the pros and cons of charting. I did it for six months til we got results that indicated we wouldn't conceive naturally til our identified problems were treated. It was a relief to stop for a while but now the issues are being dealt with I've started again. I prefer the warning of a temp drop to a bfn and a clearer idea of when I ovulated. I encourage DH to dtd every other day but charting gives me information about my body and my monthly cycles.

Bonzo77- Err- obviously I understand what 'a cycle' is being a) a woman and b) a woman who has undergone extensive fertility treatment. My point was slightly more complex: people who are TTC are now using 'cycle' to describe a month of ttc - EG ' I am on my 18th cycle', which is a phrase that has, in the past, been used to describe formal medical treatment (as well as the word for menstural cycle). This seems to me to be something that has changed in the last couple of years.

Sorry, posted before I'd finished.
Basically, my concern is that people without fertility problems are being encouraged to adopt the language/ processes of those with problems.

There is a credible argument that this is a very good thing- putting women in charge of their bodies etc and I am definitely not judging those that do (and apologies if it sounded like it.).

However, I am genuinely concerned that people without issues are being caught on the fertility train without necessarily knowing what the impact is both in terms of psychologically and in terms of their relationships.

baribi I get your general drift . Although I realised that people have "cycles" of fertility treatments, I never really considered the term to apply to me in that way. I think of them as menstrual cycles, and the term months doesn't really work for me because my menstrual cycles are a bit irregular, usually longer than a calender month... If I referred to calender months the number would be higher still. Semantics eh?!

I think that for those of us prone to worry, and for that matter prone to relationship wobbles, TTC often does have an impact. And for those people who are generally more chilled out about life, the impact may be less. I think we stress-heads / control-freaks often like the illusion of control of fertility monitoring. So I think that for a lot of TTCers the fertility rollercoaster train is something we just get sucked into. And telling someone like me "relax and let it happen" just makes no difference!

Oh, and BBT charting specifically might identify treatable conditions, including not ovulating and a short luteal phase.

bonzo77 Yes the 'relax and let it happen' phrase is probably the single most annoying thing someone can say. Particularly if it comes from a partner/mother/friend who got pregnant after one drunken shag with her DH....Along with 'go on a holiday', 'do you believe in angels?' 'my friend got pregnant by having sandlewood oil put on her nose every month with a r in it'. There is no end to the nonsense and you're right that having an approach based on facts is obviously the best one!