How do you relax?

[ProlificYoungGentlemenBreeder]

We are starting ttc again and I cannot relax I am so uptight physically and mentally. We have a really hard time conceiving (my nn is ironic!)
Any ideas?
I'm having reflexology soon, I rarely drink and have no caffeine.
Short of living in a lavender haze I don't know what to do!
I wish I could just let go but ttc is so stressful we are back at the fertility clinic in May which is already adding more stress.

Any thoughts?

(I can barely orgasm I am that uptight )

Continue doing things you enjoy that have nothing to do with reproduction.
What do you normally find enjoyable and relaxing? Whatever it is, make a special effort to do it.

Don't go mental on bonkers ttc pointless pseudo science. Spending your life savings on super duper honey or 50 quid a month vitamins won't get you pregnant. You are already having investigations at the fertility clinic by the sounds of it and hopefully they will have some answers for you and a plan of attack.

Make sure you know you are doing what you can (sex often enough). Don't deprive yourself needlessly of things ( a healthy lifestyle is important but a drink now and then and the odd cup of coffee will not do any harm).

I find the key thing like kat says is normality. We've been ttc for a long time medical reasons affecting fertility and I find spending time together, not having sex is key for us. We go for long walks and talk, we give each other massages which sometimes leads to sex but isn't the ultimate aim and holidays too. Just focusing on each other and getting pleasure from time together is what's kept us going.

Thank you for your replies, great tips and realistic strategies.
I'm keeping myself busy with all sorts within my village
I just need to perhaps forget we are ttc I'm bloody sick of looking BFN's trying to find a line.
Ridiculous!

So any more for any more?

Mine:
A good warm bath early evening is most lovely
Dark chocolate brownies with brazil nuts are not only amazing but obviously good for you!
Get a hobby...no a diploma in Clear Blue Fertility Monitor readings!

I actually don't test unless I'm late. After 26 months ttc with relatively regular cycles I find af easier to handle than bfn with lots of squinting

Reading a book
Using meditation CD's (have got loads, pm me if you want a copy)
Acupuncture
Exercise, especially outdoor
Nice warm bubble bath

are the only things that really and truly get me as relaxed as before we were ttc

I've started a new tactic of just not being so hard on myself. We (particularly girls) are needlessly harsh on ourselves almost constantly. So I'm just not going to dwell on how infertile I am and think instead about how I've managed to get through so many months without going completely insane! big pat on the back for me! I'm trying to focus on positive things about not being PG, like the fact that now my AF has come along it means I can go out for a drink tonight!

Hi, I have started taking long walks along the beach near where I live, gives me a chance to clear my mind and a little bit of exercise at the same time. Taking time out for you even if its 15 minutes can help regroup and be more positive! Hope you are ok, keep smiling xx

Sorry, this sounds gruff, it's not meant to: By and large 'Relaxation' is a load of codswallop, dreamt up by the candle industry to sell you stuff. Honestly, it has very little impact on fertility except in the sense that if you are wound up, it is harder to have sex. Time spent away from your partner having a footrub from another woman is time that could be spent having half a glass of nice wine with said partner and getting in the mood. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! Seriously, the exploitation of women with fertility issues by the 'relaxation' industry is just about making money from people at their most vulnerable. Women get pregnant in war zones and during famines and the rate of conception is highest in countries of extreme stress and poverty.

I went thru six rounds of fertility treatment and , seriously, it was tense and horrific the whole way through. The round that worked was no less stressful than the rounds that didn't. TTC is stressfull, end of. Don't beat yourself up that you are 'failing to relax'. It's just another aspect of self- blame. Seriously, be nice to yourself, have fun, spend time with the person you love. It's not the Olympics and although being healthy helps, you don't have to become a different person. I know pregnant you feels along way away but that person is not a super human being; it's you and with a fair wind , it will be you.

Great post barbigirl. It's made me feel not so bad about being uptight, pissed off and generally not relaxed. You're right, it is stressful. And having a cup of tea is more likely to make me feel relaxed than thinking I shouldn't be drinking caffeine!

Oh yes, don't buy into the spend a fortune on a holiday myth either. We did last year. Don't get me wrong, the holiday was great but rather expensive. Made no difference to getting me pregnant! Now this year we opted for saving the cash in a baby fund bank account! and had a nice UK break. It's still been heavenly to get away regardless of location. So if you want a holiday, take a holiday. Just don't think that's the magic key to getting pregnant!
ps miss you sunny, hope you're ok

I agree with the sentiment of not beating yourself up about something else that you're not doing, but as for whether some relaxation activities help you cope with ttc, or aid your chances, I say its horses for courses - suits some and not others, and don't knock it till you've tried it. There are loads of books and cds on meditation, reflexology and other relaxation stuff that you can borrow for free from your local library. Its not for everyone, but I've found all that stuff has made a huge unexpected difference to me in the last 6 months compared to the previous 4 yrs of ttc. I can now honestly say I can sit and enjoy someone else's baby and pregnancy news now whereas it used to absolutely kill me, its helping me cope if nothing else (yet). You can also get low cost acupuncture in a lot of clinics, see this link:
acmac.net/