I'm in denial about this aren't I?

[DairyleaAndPickleOnAStick]

Title says it all really! Been off the pill for almost 4 years now and have not had anything even remotely close to a BFP. Have been referred to a fertility expert and have undergone a scan to check for PCOS- (negative), had a hystersalpingogram sp? several months ago (came back normal) and waiting for another appt to see the consultant in charge. DH will have a SA done next month. Despite all of this it has only dawned on me recently that my DH and I obviously have fertility issues! Has anyone else experienced this and do you have any advice?

I know- it's pretty ridiculous really but that's that's what I'm dealing with,relatives and even casual aquaintances of my parents think nothing of interrogating me as to why I have no children yet!!! All this pressure and the thought of major medical intervention just makes me want to scream.
Thanks for the advice, will have the tests and see how it goes.

I have no idea why your GP thought the problem was unlikely to be with your husband. It might not be the stats for fertility problem sources are roughly 1/3 female, 1/3 male and 1/3 unexplained, so it is important for him to get tested. There might be no problem there but you need to know.

TBH, I still hate the thought of intervention. We are due to start IVF next month and I am thinking of putting off for another month. And this after 16 cycles of perfectly-timed swi and however knows how many months before that when we weren't making sure we hit the right days but being more casual about the whole thing when we hit the fertile zone. I'm 36 so can't dither too long.

Outlaw- Sorry I'm not rie if it's me you're asking?

Euro- it was the fertility registrar, not the gp!

And good luck with ivf, whenever you decide to start it. It must be very tough.

Dairy - I understand about the family etc - My SIL got married the day before our first wedding anniversary and all I got all day was 'so when are you having a family' At this point we were trying but still quite relaxed about it all - but i was getting fed up with the comments - got to the point where if one more person asked I was going to say one of 2 things - either i'm infertile but please don't tell anyone - but did think it would be round the room in seconds and I'd hate they pitying looks. The alternative was - our marriage is a sham - we are both gay but got married to hide it from our parents!!

Ha ha maybe I will try the "we are gay/marriage is a sham "thing next! The pitying looks are tough, especially when I am bouncing my friends babies on my knee in front of other friends and relatives. A "friend" of my father's did once ask me-to my face- what was wrong with me since I didn't have any children so I reckon I've been through the worst of the comments!

Some people are so thoughtless. Others just don't understand. Friends having babies never bothered me, I was always very happy for them. The hardest thing I had to do was support a member of staff through an abortion - when really all you want to say is 'you don't know how lucky you are'

Anyway I have put this in my watch bit but I won't be on for a few days, so just wanted to wish you luck. Take care

Sorry for the hijack, Dairy - I've been following your thread and thought I spotted an incognito. I hope you get the answers you're looking for. (and if you feel like some irreverent gin-swilling chat then you should head on over to the latest BESH fred...)

Thanks Uglymush and I know what you mean about a friend having a termination- been there too and it was hard.

Outlaw, maybe I will, but no gin for me- it makes me puke- I'll have a whisky instead

Whisky is gooooooooood. If you're a whiskey girl, then we've got a nice theme goin' on that you might enjoy...

*whisky? whiskey? (too much vino to consider all the possibilities)

Oh goody, (also had too much vino so the whiskey/whisky conundrum? issue is too much for me at the minute) will toddle over at my earliest convenience..

Hi LP, yes tis I. How are you?

I have been to have bloods today. Someone give me a I Was Brave at the Doctor's Badge please. She took nigh on a litre I reckon. She also peered up my foof. I fear this may be the start of a long road.

Hi All - have been lurking a while - what I want to know is how do you decide when to go to the Doctor!? I am 36 and we have been trying sort of for about 12 months - I am starting to worry - think I had a chemical last April. BUT due to work etc we seem to only ever DTD during the right time (I have a very regular cycle and ECWM production!) once or twice a month!

If I go to the Doctor will he tell me to go away and get on with is or do you think I could legitimately ask for tests??

Given that you are 36 and have been trying for a year, then yes, you would be advised to go to the doctor.

However, that's only if you want to :) Good luck.

modernvickyp you should go to your doctor and ask for tests. You shouldn't even have to push for them as you're over 35 and have been trying for more than 6 months. The first few tests are very simple and non-invasive. Just blood tests and perhaps a semen analysis for your partner.

You need to know

• are you ovulating? (2 blood tests)
• is your thyroid ok? (blood test combined with above)
• do you have PCO(S) (blood test combined with above)
• do you have any STIs? (blood test combined with above)
• does your partner have healthy sperm swimming the right way? (SA)

Later on they may look to see if you have any blockages (internal scan, maybe HSG) like fibroids or blocked tubes.

Good luck.

Thanks for your answers - kind of reassuring that I am not being a complete nutter. Will talk to OH and will go ahead and make an appointment. Stasi - will take your list of questions with me!!

Thanks again so much for your messages.