BFP today but do scared

[hopingitsthismonth]

Not sure what answers I want to hear really but in short (as its a long story and am on my phone!) I've got one DS age 3. I had Mmc in Dec 2010 at 10 wks. Then got pregnant again relatively soon after but again had a second MMC in June 2011. Since then had a nightmare not getting any periods. Went into hospital for a hysteroscopy as I convinced myself I had ashermans(!) ( I didn't thank god). Anyway consultant gave me some kind of progesterone tablets to basically force a period which did actually work and then here I am 4 weeks later got my BFP.

I am happy, but also terrified that I will miscarry again. I know there is nothing I can do about it but not sure how I will get through the next 8 weeks... Can it possibly end with a baby?

That title was meant to say "so" not "do"

Congratulations! Try not to worry, try to relax and just take it one day at a time.

Thanks Luci. You are right of course... One day at a time.

*puts down calendar and stops calculating due date and magic 12 weeks date!

Hey QT, thanks a lot for your message. took another test today (addicted to POAS!) and its still says pregnant so thats one good thing :)

you know i think i will have a scan at 8 weeks. had one at 8 weeks with my 2nd MMC as i was nervous after the 1st MMC and thats how we found out there was no heartbeat... so as much as i cannot imagine going back there again I will do it at 8 weeks yes- hadnt realised it was not far off same viability- off to google now!

feeling better already today- what will be will be.. all i can do is do all the right things.. so ate salmon tonight- good for me :)

thanks again,
xx

Hi Hoping,

Firstly congratulations on your BFP! I had a mmc & chemical preg before I conceived my dd and spent the ENTIRE pregnancy in a state of low grade panic that I wouldn't actually have a baby. By the time I went into labour I'd 'given myself' low grade OCD instead, constantly stressing about any symptom and going through stupid time consuming rituals to try to feel in control, which of course didn't work and made me feel more out of control and stupid to boot. For your own sake, avoid my example!!! I know it is incredibly hard but assume all will be ok, because as you rightly and wisely say you can't do anything - but you can ruin these early weeks (and months in my case) for yourself with worrying. I know two in a row must feel like the worst luck int he world, but there is no reason to suppose its anything other than just bad luck. My consultant told me that the rate of early mc is either 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 by some definitions, so there is nothing wrong with you, and therefore no reason to think there's a problem.

I know they are blasted expensive but perhaps a private scan is an option, especially if your GP is like mine (slow)? After my mmc I could not imagine going back to the hospital where the scan was performed so I completely sympathise. Have a look at NHS choices for your area. A lot of places have multiple clinics / hospitals offering ultrasounds, its just GPs tend to refer you to the nearest.

When you do go for the scan, one other tip is before you lie down, tell the sonographer what has happened to you. I had to because I was shaking and white in the face and she asked me what the problem was. As soon as told her, she was brilliant with me. Talked me through everything and most importantly from my point of view was quick to tell me what she was picking up.

As for getting through the next 8 weeks - can you maybe organise a weekend away or a special trip? Something not at all baby related that can help take your mind off it?

Anyway just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!!!!!!!

Lions. Thanks so so much for your reply. Sorry it's taken a while to come back. The stats are interesting and i am a bit if a stats buff myself constantly googling "chances of " etc and it all suggests I've just been unlucky. I have booked a week away for us last week in march so looking forward to that for a distraction. Bit of a development since I last posted in that I had some bleeding last night And also clearblue tests still saying 1-2 weeks ((equivalent of 3-4 wks) when I think I am five now. Not looking good. Hospital said I should come in and they took blood. Got to call at 1:30pm for blood test results then go back in48 hours to have more taken and see if level has gone up.
Oh and if I by some miracle get to 7/8 weeks will defo be going for the private scan option. At least once!
Thx again for taking time to reply. X