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Conception

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Original poster

Frightened to ttc DC4 after 3 HGs

18 replies

LilBlondePessimist · 22/02/2012 09:40

I have three ds's - all 3 pgs were plagued with horrific HG which got progressively worse each time, resulting in hospitalization. Ditto PSD - on crutches from 20 weeks. Also suffered from erythema nodosum along with repeated infections. Basically my body doesn't cope with pg. Had decided after birth of ds3 (who is 18 wks old) that my body was well and truly finished. Have been feeling already that I'd like dc4 to finish my family and have discovered that dh feels the same but is terrified of me being so ill again. The problem is so am I. If I wasn't so ill I would jump at another as there is only 18mths between my first two but six yrs between my middle and youngest so would love a companion for him. Really don't know what to do. Any thoughts?

OP posts:

AThingInYourLife · 22/02/2012 11:12

Your baby is 18 weeks old, you d

Catsdontcare · 22/02/2012 11:16

There is nO way I could face hg again so I admire you for even contemplating it! If you do decide to go ahead you need get a firm support plan in place for the duration of you pregnancy.

AThingInYourLife · 22/02/2012 11:16

Your baby is 18 weeks old, you don't need to make this decision now, or even any time soon.

If you leave it a full year, your younger two will still be close in age.

Just take the pressure off for a bit. There's no right way of doing this, and you really don't sound like you want another pregnancy soon, so just go with that :)

Original poster

LilBlondePessimist · 22/02/2012 11:46

Thank you for your replies. I don't have a support network here as yet, dh and I emigrated when I was 36wks gone with ds3 (not our idea, but had no choice in timing due to dh's work), so we have NO family and very few friends. Should have said we are in Australia so it isn't easy for family to get here either. Dh is 48, and feels if we're to have another it will need to be soon as he's not getting any younger!

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Winkly · 22/02/2012 11:50

Hg can be life threatening. In my brutally honest opinion I think you'd be mad to have another. You have 3 lovely children who have a healthy mother. Saying that I do understand the urge but your baby doesn't need a sibling close in age as much as a healthy mum.

Original poster

LilBlondePessimist · 22/02/2012 12:24

I'm not really sure what to say about that :( If I'm being honest I'd never once considered that HG could be life threatening. I know how ill it made me - massive weight loss, dehydration, ketosis, hospitalized etc, and DO realize the implications this had (and could again) on the dcs but I always weighed it up that it was only temporary and the end result of another beautiful family member would far outweigh everything else. I suppose I'm also clinging to the hope that I won't definitely get it again (wishful thinking?). Feeling more confused and upset now than I was to begin with.

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Original poster

LilBlondePessimist · 23/02/2012 12:26

Can anyone offer any hope of not getting HG the fourth time, having had it three previous pgs?

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Thinkingof4 · 23/02/2012 14:42

Hi I just wanted to add that with appropriate medical support HG is extremely unlikely to be life threatening, but no doubt very unpleasant. IMO of course

I know with me each pregnancy has been different in terms of morning sickness but I've never had HG so not sure if you get same variability. Did you get early meds last time? Ondanestron etc?
Would your dh be able to look after children if you were ill or in hospital or could you afford nanny to help out?

Sorry no experience of this but I do understand yearning for no.4 which I also have. I've got 3 ds too and would love another, planning to TTC soon ds3 is 9 months and like you my dh is older than me (43) and is of the now or never camp!

Good luck with whatever you decide

Original poster

LilBlondePessimist · 23/02/2012 20:18

Hi Thinkingof4, I didn't get odnanestron (sp?), but was on three others, buccastem, one I can't remember the name of (also began with b I think) and prochlorperazine. I stupidly refused meds in my first two (too frightened), and just about got by, but last time was so severe that by the first time I was admitted to hosp I hadn't kept food or water down for nine days and only just made it into hospital (literally, in the foyer) before I passed out, and had the anti emetic injected, then was rehydrated over 48hrs that time. I've never found there to be much assistance where I lived for HG, although hoping it may be different here. It would be difficult for oh to take time off but he would if he had to. I would just need to take the meds at the first sign this time I suppose, although they still scare the hell out of me.

I never in a million years expected to want four children, but now four somehow just feels right. If I were lucky enough to have one more, and the yearning for a fifth was there I think I'd get sterilized. My oh keeps saying someone has to be the youngest!

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Catsdontcare · 24/02/2012 09:34

I was given ondansetron with my 2nd but not until I got to 12 weeks it did completely stop it in it's tracks. However it's an expensive drug so they don't give it out without a fight and I think they would be reluctant to give it before 12 weeks

Thinkingof4 · 24/02/2012 09:41

I think what I'd do in your situation is flag it up to GP / obs dr at earliest time possible and get onto meds at the first sign of sickness, which would hopefully prevent you getting so bad that you would need hospital and ivs again

It does seem a bit ridiculous to want a fourth child doesn't it! I only know 1 family irl with 4, most of my friends have 2 or 3 and think I am bonkers for wanting another! What ages are your dc's?
I have ds1 5, ds2 2 and ds3 9months

Original poster

LilBlondePessimist · 24/02/2012 11:15

I would have paid a thousand pounds to stop the sickness and nausea, and in fact will have to pay for any meds I need here which will be very very expensive. Worth it though to get through another pg.

My littleuns are 8, 6.5 and 18 weeks. All boys. People seem to think I must be desperate for a girl but if truth be told I'd be over the moon with another boy! :)

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Catsdontcare · 24/02/2012 13:04

Well perhaps look into the availability of ondansetron over there are cost it really is a miracle drug for sickness. I agree that four boys sounds fab!

Thinkingof4 · 24/02/2012 20:35

I know what you mean, I'm mentally preparing for all the ' are you hoping for a girl this time? ' comments. Like you I'd LOVE 4 boys but a girl would be lovely too.

I think there used to be a mahoosive thread on pregnancy forum about HG, it might be worth looking there re specifics of which meds seem to work best

Original poster

LilBlondePessimist · 24/02/2012 22:17

I will speak to my gp about that drug, and maybe try to pre-empt it this tine. Hopefully like you say if we caught it early it may be easier to control. It's hard not to get offended when people think you're disappointed with boy number 3 and only having another for the chance of a girl. I will also look for the pg/HG thread! Thank you ladies

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Original poster

LilBlondePessimist · 16/03/2012 08:23

Just a short update since the last time - I had to see my gp on an unrelated matter and decided to speak to her about the possibility of a fourth child and the treatment of hg. She was extremely reassuring and said that they routinely use ondanestron for hg - she also said that because of my previous history that I would be treated at the first signs to try to keep it under control! This has all been such a relief - I know it doesn't mean that I'll get an easy ride, as I've certainly had my fair share of other complications, but the thought that hg may not completely debilitate me is, in itself, amazing! So we have decided that I will stop taking my mini pill and see what happens (am still bf ds3 exclusively, so know that nothing may happen for quite a while)! Thinkingof4, have you decided to start ttc?

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Thinkingof4 · 17/03/2012 16:11

Hi
That's great news about your dr! We are kind of in limbo just now, still feeding ds3 and still no AF. Feeling a bit unsure about the whole thing tbh, but hoping it's just temporary as dh is ready to TTC when I am. We have spent the last week all at various stages of unwell with horrible virus (poor baby unwell for a week but better now, ds2 now in midst of it, asleep on the couch) so I suppose I am just exhausted (esp as I started back at work this week)

I'm waiting a month or so to see how I feel- I don't want a December baby if I can avoid it so that's another reason to wait a month.

Good luck with TTC, keep us up to date on how you are getting on

Original poster

LilBlondePessimist · 17/03/2012 22:46

Oh what a shame you've all been ill! It's really horrible! I'm still feeding ds3 too and as yet no af, but feel like I may have ovulated yesterday. Just some cramping and ewcm (sorry tmi) ☺. Also I fell pg with ds2 while bf ds1 and hadn't had af but who knows?? I don't really want a December baby either, would ideally like an April or may but don't know if I have the patience to wait that long. I already have a January, August and October so thought April/may would space it out nicely lol.

Anyway, keep me informed and I'll do the same - hope you are all better soon x

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