Chinese medicine or IVF - which would you do next?

[CareBear1]

Ok so doing some full on mentalling and just wondered what the general opinion was; how much would you be prepared to put off ivf for in terms of pursuing every other avenue? How long would you give chinese medicine type approach of acupuncture, herbs, diet changes etc before you gave up? I've been doing all this for the last 6 months, and just had a month where i've got a very pretty chart, hardly any spotting which is unusual for me but still bfn and af is arriving as i type. I keep changing my mind between going back to ivf or perservering with chinese medicine. Am i kidding myself there's any differences in my charts, or do i just need a bit more patience? Does it really matter whether its ivf or not, wouldn't i just want a 'boyorgirl' baby after all this time? Will i look back and think i should have made a different choice? aargh. Had completely come to terms with having ivf last may, then started acupuncture and learning about chinese medicine and thought i was in with a chance of it working.

People I've discussed this with in RL are being very diplomatic and saying its my choice, which obviously it is, but i keep changing my choice! What would you do / what do you believe in? Any thoughts welcome,

thanks. x

oops, here are charts. And there's a free meditation cd to anyone who replies and wants to PM me an address!

www.fertilityfriend.com/home/carebear1

Carebear I am not a charter but can see there has been a change. Is the reason for IVF all female or unexPlained? Are you about to start? I would. Not mix herbs with IVF CARE have had problems. Depends on your age dh etc to what I wOuld do and the reasons for IVF. Good luck

Thanks Bugsy. We are unexplained, DH's results were fine. Im 34 and ttc 4.5 yrs.

Tricky.

I'd personally go for IVF if money isn't a factor, while you're still young enough for IVF to have good success rates for you. Once you hit 35 success rates start to decline.

But then I would say that as I had IVF/ICSI at the age of 31 to conceive my son (now 23 months - gave birth at 32) so to me IVF is way better than trying, and failing, to conceive naturally.

But for us money wasn't an issue (we were prepared to throw as much money as we needed to at it at the expense of saving for a deposit/ever going on proper holidays/having a crappy car etc). So we picked a private clinic with great success rates (the Lister) and it worked for first time.

We did have an issue though - male factor - so had a "problem" to remedy. TBH honest I think I'd have gone for IVF anyway, even without an issue as the not getting pregnant was problem enough! I also decided that IUI wasn't worth the effort, since the success rates are so low. I also charted for years, had acupuncture, watched diet/caffeine/alchohol etc (as did DH) though neither of us did the full on Chinese herbs etc.

I can honestly say I don't care how DS was conceived - I'm actually quite proud that he's an ICSI baby, as he's our miracle baby and modern medicine is a wonderful thing . Though I did grieve for my fertility at the start of the process iykwim, as in I just thought it was so bloody unfair to be surrounded by people who "got pregnant at the drop of a hat" while me and DH had to slog through years of ttc and then ICSI. But we got over that and it doesn't really matter in the end...

Of course I'm now pregnant naturally...typical, after years of ttc naturally and ICSI I'm now one of those annoying anecotes "she got pregnant naturally while breastfeeding". They used to drive me crazy when I was ttc!

You do have other options - eg you could do some private investigations for immunes as you may have unidentified immune issues that are hindering implantation.

You could also set a time limit, eg if not pregnant by the Olympics then make an appointment for starting IVF (unless you're doing NHS - if you're doing NHS then I'd say get in the system asap so that you don't have so long to wait).

Good luck whatever you decide.

Thank you so much Flip for your response, that is a lot of food for thought. And congratulations!! When I started this back in August time, the deadline I had mentally set myself was now. I think I'm just having a couple of days of feeling like I'm in the fog of failure. I think I'd be the same once there was a baby I'd probably not care but just finding it difficult to picture being at that stage and knowing how it would feel iykwim.

Do you mind if I ask if falling pg recently has done anything for you in terms of the failure-feeling thing, like 'there was nothing wrong with me after all'? Or were you already at that point after giving birth to a health baby?