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Original poster

Trying for a DC3? Or not.

11 replies

coffeecake · 21/02/2012 20:33

I don't know what to do, DH and I always said we didn't want a DC3 because of financial reasons, now DC2 is nearly 5 and our situation has changed which means that we can easily afford for me not to go back to work and still do everything else comfortably (holiday, extra activities etc...)
I am not that old yet (36) and I just can't stop thinking about having a 3rd, and I seem to see babies everywhere.
But, now DC1 is 7, DC2 is 5, so maybe I should just stop here. I just don't know. I just get really emotional everytime I see a baby, especially when I think that I may not have one ever again.
Can someone give me some advice? Did you hesitate and ended up having a third anyway, even which such a big age gap?

OP posts:
elizadoulalittle · 21/02/2012 23:21

Do it!

DingbatsFur · 21/02/2012 23:27

Ooo I would love to be youEnvy
If you can afford one & deep in your heart want one I would go for it. You will regret it otherwise I think.

Bimbledorf · 21/02/2012 23:34

My husband and I have always wanted a third - but have also concluded that the finances suggest it would be wise not to. Our children are also 7 and 5, but one thing that we have always said and continue to is that if we came into an amount of money whereby I didn't have to work - then the first thing we would do is try and have another child - age gap or not! It is literally the only thing stopping us. I say stopping us as after a "scare" last month, when I genuinely believed that I was pregnant (false alarm) we have now decided to try for a third regardless. Our situation has improved slightly - not to where I would like it to be but I don't care about that anymore - I just know I will regret not trying for a third so here's hoping it works.

In summary - GO FOR IT :)

Thetokengirl · 21/02/2012 23:44

If DH is also up for a third, then I would say go for it. We have three DSs, they are now 10, 7.5 and 3 so similar gaps to what you would have. They are a handful, but great fun and I'm surprised at how well they can play together as long as it involves fighting.
The nights were definitely harder third time (was 38 when I had him) and financially it didn't make any sense but our lives are definitely enriched by his presence. Also, I don't feel very broody anymore Grin

Original poster
coffeecake · 22/02/2012 09:45

Damn. I was expecting someone to warn me against it. Now I'm even more for it. Plus I know I just have to say the word as DH really wants a 3rd (of course I'll be the one looking after them.).
The other thing that is kind of stopping me now is, is it fair on the other 2? I mean, DH is one of 4 and he admits that there was no time for too much attention, plus he had to look after the little ones. My mum has got 3 and she definately warned me against a 3rd, she says she's having a nightmare with my sister who is now 16, and she could do without the agro at her age (57). She's no energy for it although she loves her to bits (my sister is a handful though, plus the situation is different as it's a different dad and my sister's dad wasn't in the least supportive, but my dad was and so is DH.)
So, although my mum totally understands what it's like to really want a child, and that only I can make the decision, she strongly advised me against it.
Has anyone had a 3rd and are now struggling during the kids' teenage years?

OP posts:
elizadoulalittle · 22/02/2012 09:58

I have 3, was a hard descion but so glad we went for it, now trying for 4th.

WomanwiththeYellowHat · 22/02/2012 12:08

We have spent about a year trying to decide what to do about having a 3rd DD1 is 4 and DD2 is just 3) and have finally decided to go for it. We made the decision over Christmas when it was just the two of us for one evening and we had a chance to talk through exactly what we thought the pros and cons were. By the end of that evening I knew we both wante dto try and felt completely happy with the decision (we have had to wait to get started due to a massive family event booked for end August so will be getting on with it soon!).

I am one of 2 and my sister is a complete nightmare, and has been from her teenage years onwards. I guess what I think is that you and your DH need to decide what you want to do and then go for it - you can't predict the future and certainly not which, if any, of your kids will be a nightmare teenager Grin so you just have to live in the moment and work out what you think would work best for your family. Our DD1 is a little mother hen but DD2 is a completely one-man-band and certainly doesn't need looking after! I think they would both benefit from another sibling, although they themselves are almost like twins with the small age gap, but seeing it from the pov of the whole family made it a much easier decision for us.

Hope that helps!

Brockle · 22/02/2012 12:19

My two are 6 and 4 and although a DC3 has been at the back of my mind I have really enjoyed having my two DS's. Last month I had a pregnancy scare and I was really disappointed. Now all I can think about is a DC3. We could just about fit a third into the car and house and a DC3 would probably mean increasing my days at work so financially it could work (bless my mother of a babysitter!) Not sure whether a DC3 would bring too much chaos into our lives again. My husband feels exactly the same so we just go around in circles. I think if I could have three children and miss out the first two years of sleepless nights and tantrums I would go for it!

Original poster
coffeecake · 22/02/2012 12:38

Thank you all for your fantastic advice. Brockle you put your finger on another inconvenient. My mum. She lives in a different country, and we are moving away from his mum (not that she has been that much help so far to be honest).
To be honest, the more I am with my kids, the happier I am anyway, but for practical reasons, it would help to have my mum around.
In fact, if my mum was around, I would try for a 3rd immediately.
Brockle it's really weird, I started to seriously think about it after a pregnancy scare 2 months ago.

OP posts:
Brockle · 22/02/2012 15:37

That is weird. It wasn't really on my radar at all until then. I think it made me realise that I did want a third child. Mum wasn't aroung with my first but moved t be near us when I had my second and she has been wonderful. She looks after my two boys three days a week and as much as she is an incredibly youthful 55 I don't want her to feel dread at the thought of a third child or assume that she would take care of a third baby.

Perhaps I should invite her over and her my Dh and me can discuss it like adults! :-)

My heart wants to accost my Dh this evening and my head says think about it for the next five years!

Original poster
coffeecake · 22/02/2012 21:02

Well, I spoke to DH tonight, and guess what! He's not sure now.
I guess that answers my question.

OP posts:
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