Very long vent sorry just needed to get it out there

[Gahwhatnow]

Basically I am overweight, I have been tested for everything going (Thyroid, PCOS, Syndrome X, Insulin resistance etc. etc.) But nothing ever found/ helped.

I then had cholecystitis and an infection in the gallbladder; so couldn't have the bladder removed for 4months, last year and for 4 months was on a low to no fat diet (if you've ever had gallbladder pain you know you will do anything to never experience it again so I did not cheat. In 4 months existed on low-fat cup a soups raw veggies and no fat yogurt) and lost nothing.
Because there is osteoporosis in my family I consulted a Dietician. She assumed like so many others that I had to be lying about what I ate and I think saw me as a challenge and with the 'threat' of pain over my head if I cheated on my diet. I didn't replace fats with sugar even fruit sugars. All of this was fully supported by OH who gets so angry when people assume that I must be ploughing through chips/burgers/ etc.

Anyway you now are wondering why this is in conception and not weight loss. Aren't you? I?m getting there honest. . .

Since I started my periods I have never had a 'normal' cycle. As a child and a pre-teen I swam competitively in my home country until I was nearly 15. (I stopped due to a RTA that buggered up my leg).

I didn't have a period till I was 15y 6 mths; my swimming was used as a reason for me not menstruating at first. Normal for athletes I was told.

When I did finally start my periods my bleed was always light and never longer than 2 days, to me that was normal and seeing what some of my friends went through a blessing. And these lovely light periods only happened about every 3-4 months if even that, looking back I occasionally went 6 months without a period.
And as soon as I did start menstruating I started to put on weight, at first I put it down to the enforced inactivity due to my injury, but I have since found out that my Ma was very worried about how little I was eating then thinking either depression or anorexia, but as I didn't lose weight. . .

Anyway years have gone by I have had other medical issues and at times I did mention my very irregular/ light periods the first question I'd be asked was well are you trying to conceive?
Which until 5/4 years ago was GOD NO!!!? And then it would be well what's the problem? Think yourself lucky.

So anyway me and OH are of an age and good career position that we can seriously think about starting a family . . . yeah! (We both come from big families so know how much work is involved in having a baby, both physical and emotional)

A solid year of no holds barred no barrier shagging wee hee,and nothing.

So clearly not having a recognisable/trackable cycle it's a bit difficult to predict ovulation etc. So off we trot to the GP, who says sensibly I think 'well the easiest thing to do is test OH's swimmers as that's quick easy and non-invasive.'

OHs swimmers are great in fact they are champions, Olympic even, so that's good.

This is where I get referred to gyne; they do all the usual tests both internal and external fun fun fun. NOT. From my bloods I get referred to the endocrinologist, more investigations.

And all come to nothing

Now I did/do know the endocrinology Reg and he felt that well in his words I was a bit of a freak (now in his defence I'm an ex-nurse and I remembered him as a PIA house officer, who I eventually developed a really good working relationship with, so he felt he could be honest/blunt with me) anyway he felt that although all my tests just fell within normal levels that there was something more going on.

However his boss overruled him and told me to lose weight and I'd have no problems conceiving, I tried to explain that I had been on a diet since I started menstruating but his comeback was 'Well there was no fat people in the Nazi camps was there?'

And then that I was not eligible to any fertility investigations/treatment until I hit a BMI score of under 25

Prick!!!

Anyway back to the info at the start since I had my gallbladder out I have been losing weight slowly but steadily so since my op I have lost over 2 stone, much to the disgust of my Dietician because having followed a soup/yogurt/veg diet and losing nothing, I have now gone back to my normal diet and am losing. . . seriously though she is lovely and has become a friend it just winds her up that she can't understand it all. (my having my gallbladder out should not have affected/ caused weight loss but. . . )

But at the nice steady rate I'm losing weight which is how 'they' recommending losing weight by the time I get to under BMI 25 I'll be too old i.e.; over 35.

Now one of the other weird things about me.

I could never take the Pill, it actually sent me loopy, I was on the pill for about 3 weeks when I was 20; my boyfriend at the time flushed them. We had been in a relationship for a year that had been sexual for 4 months and I had decided to go on the pill thinking that condoms were too risky.[ha ha] The pill send me loopy, within 2 days I was paranoid, aggressive, couldn't sleep for more than 2 hours, had night sweats like you wouldn't believe. Boyfriend flushed them saying that he was happy to never have PIV sex again if I went back to normal.

If I am ever around any women who has a 'normal' cycle I will copy them. The only time I had a 'normal' cycle was when I flat shared for a year with 2 other women they synced up and after 2 months so did I.

I can't lose weight any quicker, really. I already walk for an hour a day minumium.

Can't get any tests/treatment.

I do wonder if I am that sensitive to other women's cycles/ pheromones maybe I need to hang around lots of pregnant women [desperate woman smile]

I'm not so obese that I couldnt have a normal pregnancy.

So anyway now you have my life story where do I go now???
Any advice welcome, except advice to lose weight.......I'm doin that......

Can you afford to pay for further tests privately? :)

Second what Gin says, can you afford to get a second opinion?

I was messed around for two bloody years by the NHS fertility 'service' - diagnosed within one hour privately .

I don't know what to suggest (I've battled with my weight all my adult life ), but wish you luck. I know the pain of IF and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy x

Wss! Throw cash at the problem.

My BMI makes me obese and I find it very hard to lose weight. To even simply 'maintain' I need to eschew virtually all carbs and dairy. Is this possible for you with the cholio? Low-carb is thought to be the way forward in my country for syndrome X/fertility issues.

Although I have been lucky enough to have become pregnant naturally I do understand your frustration at the 'system'. I am 'athletic' in the sense of muscle definition and size, the last time I had a BMI of 30 I was in training for a triathlon (healthy) but my hair was falling out and my teeth loose (I questioned whether this would be appropriate to sustain a healthy pregnancy ;) )- not all situations are b&w.

In my case I suspect my husband's sperm was not 100%, however they didn't want to run SA because of me.

Now, back to practicalities, how about contacting the forthright registrar 'as a friend' and asking him for ideas as to what to do next, or even if he can help privately. At least you know he's not going to waste your time with investigations and disbelief!

What does Wss mean Alpine?

I have the same problem, my consultant thought I must be lying about what I ate, as I could never lose weight, even with severe diets and exercise.

They have given me Metformin which has helped a little, but not drastically.

I really feel for you, I too have had all those tests, and as I'm not losing weight they assume I must be lying, which is really infuriating.

OP where are you are you sure the cons is right re infertility tx investigations?
Generally investigations are not banned due to a BMI so am not sure he is right there, it is only treatment that is usually dictated to by BMI. I would check that again he is right with the level. Obviously I do not know your BMI but PCT's generally say you have to be under 30 some maybe a bit lower. Also age does vary across the country here it is under 39. I would see if you could speak to the reg to see what he may have suggested, and check pct criteria and get a referral.

Well done on the steady weight loss
Ask gp to refer for second opinion where abouts in the country are you? keep quiet if you want

Hi, sorry, work got in the way of life

The area I'm in is pretty much buggered re: NHS money. Private seems to be the way to go. (East Angelia).

Metfomin was suggested by endo reg but overruled by consultant.

Gyne have done all the tests they could without calling them fertility tests (IYSWIM), tests have been records as being for cancer investigation etc. as if they had been ordered for fertility reasons they wouldn't have been done.

All credit to them they have pushed it as far as they could. And they didn?t find anything.

As my lack of periods puts me at a very slightly higher risk of Endometrial Cancer I was prescribed a double dose of the 'Pill'. If I haven't had a 'normal' bleed for 3 months I have to take these and induce a false bleed.

This bit was amusing, as the Gyne doc warned me that I need to be careful about contraception while on this treatment as it may increase my chances of becoming pregnant. (She was being observed at the time).

When speaking to her later, she felt that maybe I could ?train? my body. That the fact that I did sync with other women showed that there wasn?t a physical issue as far as they could determine with current investigations.

And basically I fell in to that big grey hole of unexplained infertility.

I?ve done 2 cycles of the enforced bleeds so far. Normally it would be expected that I would have to take 5 days of double dose pill and then stop and this would force a false period within a week. With me I take one dose and start bleeding the next day.

I have spoken to the gyne doc since (socially) and told her about the above, and again she feels that whatever is ?wrong? is so mild as to be difficult to identify, but obviously bad enough to stop me conceiving. She did comment that it was a pity as I would most likely be one of ?those? patients who would have one round of Clomid or similar and all would be sorted.

From an admin POV small financial outlay and a successful treatment. . . . (if that sounds a bit harsh or thoughtless because I know a lot of them we do tend to slip in to friend talk occasionally).

But still Very annoying to think that isn?t it. (though I know its not just the actualy cost of the prescription and the pill its the monitoring etc. . )

I?m going to carry on as I am and just occasionally vent, if that?s ok?

This might not be very helpful and a bit woo but have you ever had a mineral analysis done?

Copper toxicity (or sometimes deficiency due to biounavailability) can cause weird symptoms and can affect your thyroid and adrenal glands as well as oestrogen/progesterone balance. A lot of women who are copper toxic have unexplained weight gain/inability to lose weight and weird cycles that sort out once they're balanced again. Might not even be copper, maybe another mineral thats out of whack but they never seem to test for these things....

Might be worth getting an analysis done to see, won't hurt even if thats not your problem.

Hope you find some answers soon

If you're confident clomid would work, could you go private?

wrt the consultant's comment, there has been some research done that suggests that women coming off the pill - even if they've only been on it short term - are more fertile than if they'd not been taking it iykwim. You can google it :)

Hi and thanks

PopcornMouse: yes have seen that research which is one of the reasons the Gyne doc suggested doing the 'forced' bleeds. The risk factor for endometrial cancer through not having periods and having no family history is so tiny. But this was treatment through the back door nudge .

Mineral Analysis is a thought I seem to be very sensitive to some things (which is odd as I in myself am normally like a bull in a china shop)

Oh and meant to add, it was your sensitivity to the pill that got me thinking copper toxic, people who have too much copper seem to be very intolerent to the pill. Have a wee google on it, see if any of the symptoms fit

Have you had your thyroid checked ? I would book a private consultation with a specialist in fertility and that might help you get some answers.

I think you have not been adequately investigated. They have not been thorough enough and have used your weight as a barrier to treating you further; weight should not be a barrier to accessing treatment.

What blood tests did they do and on what days?.

My symptoms re a menstrual cycle or lack of are very similar to yours and I was diagnosed with PCOS. I am convinced they have missed something.

Low GI/GL seems to be more helpful than following a low carb plan and low GI is more sustainable long term.

I am convinced they have missed something here and you've been given the so called diagnosis of unexplained simply because you have not been adequately or properly investigated.

You will need to be persistant in order to get answers.

I would insist that you are reviewed either again by the same consultant, or by someone who is not so judgemental about weight! Like Atilla says, you have not been property investigated. You've made the effort with diet and exercise, but the lack of periods suggests something isn't right. If you're a nurse you know what you're entitled to.....what would you do if your patient had been overlooked like you have? I'm a nurse too BTW Do for yourself what you'd do for your patient.