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Conception

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So, how do I learn patience?

1 reply

missmaryp · 17/02/2012 14:10

Hello ladies,

I'm hope you're not rolling your eyes as I really do need your words of wisdom.
Basically, me and partner of 3 years have a daughter each, when we got together we didn't want more children but surprise surprise I changed my mind. It's been pretty much consuming said mind since about a year and a half ago.

My partner feels he has compromised by changing his mind to agreeing to more children, but that I must also compromise by waiting. This conversation was 6 months ago and he asked I wait a year so August is the goal in mind.

I reluctantly agreed, as I felt i had little choice, but since then it has been regularly brought up by me because I want nothing more than to be at home raising our family. I have tried so bloody hard to shut up and accept its not that long to wait, but every time I come on my period or a friend announces she is pregnant it ends up in me pissing him off by bringing it up AGAIN.

He thinks by doing so, I am showing his wishes are less important than mine.

I don't see it that way. I'm bringing it up because it is making me jealous and miserable and he is my partner and has shown me with his love that I can and should share my feelings with him.

I hate causing negativity between us. And I wish I could just shut up and be patient, but it eats me up inside. I am close to tears every time I come on my period, whenever we have sex I am focused on the chance he might change his mind and just - you know- this time. It's ridiculous, and I understand why he gets annoyed with me when I keep pushing him to change his mind.

I don't want to push him away.

Please help me!

OP posts:
tenpontipines · 17/02/2012 19:02

No real advice I'm afraid but just to say that I understand what you're going through. Dh and I are at odds about when to start ttc#1 and it's really hard. It's a bit of a different situation in that I've had chemo and been told to wait a year but can't find any evidence to suggest anything over 6m is needed (even my consultant admitted that medics basically have no idea what's safe). Dh is being ultra conservative and wanting to wait, whilst I'm arguing to go a few months sooner since if 12m is safe why isn't 11m? Etc etc. I'm not stupid and would never risk my child's health but I dislike seemingly arbitrary rules which I've been given.

Basically tho he wins since the person who wants to preserve the status quo always does.. But it's a real issue-like you say, every time we have sex I get all frustrated when he reaches for the condoms..

I'm just trying to enjoy life as it is but it's tough.

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