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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Anyone hoping for a really positive feb 2006?

1796 replies

wannaBe1974 · 25/01/2006 13:53

ok, as the january thread reached 1800 posts exactly, well it did at last count, I think it's time we started the February thread. Now February has lots going for it, valentines, extra reasons for BD, it only has 28 days, the average length of a menstral cycle, .. so me thinks feb will be a very positive month for all of us!

Happy BD to all! (((hugs))) xxx

OP posts:
pussycatmomma · 25/02/2006 09:13

hi all if anyone is around............
i know you are probably all gonna be on the "chat" thread but sometimes you just need to post......when you are feeling seriously sad with ttc and the chat thread is too perky for me at the moment iyswim.
Some of you might remember I told you about my best friend who found out she was pg just before Christmas. She told us around mid Jan, well all is still well, she is doing great and i have gotten my head round the fact that my best girl is having a baby. All good.
This morning I rcvd a little Thankyou note from my other best friend, from her dd whos 3, thanking me for her birthday gift. All lovely.
With a "ps, Mummy is 6 weeks pregnant we just found out" on the end.................
Am delighted for her, pleased, cant wait to share her experiences etc etc etc, but feel so selfishly sorry for myself Annoyed with myself for feeling this way.
So now I have my two bestest friends in the world, the two couples we see the most, go out with, share stuff, etc etc, both prg at the same time, My sister just about at the end of her tether with her IVF (bank just told them that while she is off work sick, due to prev complications, they will not be able to lend her more money for next complete treatment cycle), and me just stuck in the middle........my sis doesnt want to share stuff or talk to me about ttc, not only does she find it so painful & traumatic anyway, i think she sees me as some kind of enemy, Im hopefully one day gonna be able to concieve naturally - in her eyes a crime, and my two lovely freinds, well.......i may as well be on Mars for everything that we'll be able to chat about in the next 9 months or so.......................................................................
Gosh i am so sorry to rant like this, but somehow writing it makes it a little better. I AM happy for them and pleased but there is that little whiney voice inside my head that wont stop saying "pleeeeeeeease pleaaaaase please let it be me soon"
Sorry everyone.........
I guess this is why talk threads were invented sometimes.
Catch you all later x

NatalieJane · 25/02/2006 10:23

Hi PCM,

I know we haven't really spoken much but I wanted you to know that I do really feel for you. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. You sound like a really nice person and I bet you are feeling more guilt about being jealous, than you are jealousy (IYKWIM?!) All I can say is what you already know, one day (hopefully very soon) it will be your turn to tell everyone about your baby, and just think how much support you will have from your two closest friends when you do have your baby.

I am sure your sister doesn't really think it would be a crime if your were to get PG, she will feel the same way as you do when you hear about one of your friends, but you can't let that stop you doing what you want to do. I know it must be hard to 'knowingly' put your sister through that, but you can't put your life, your plans, your dreams on hold to save someone elses feelings. You deserve to be happy, just the same as anyone else does.

I know it is so hard to relax and try not to think about TTC, but I really think you would benifit from a bit of R&R, could you go away for a while, a weekend or something, you don't have to stop TTC but just let yourself think about something else for a change, go to some art galleries, or whatever you like to take your mind away from it all. Or if you can't get away have a nice romantic meal out, and BAN all baby talk.

I'm not really sure what else to say, but I really hope you get your BFP soon.

wannaBe1974 · 25/02/2006 10:38

Oh PCM (((hugs))) never feel bad about coming to vent on here, you're right, this is exactly what the talk boards are for, to talk to people who have been through and who are going through the same as you are and therefore understand exactly what you are going through without the words having to be spoken.

To some people getting pregnant is something that comes naturally, they come off the pill and bang, they're pregnant. For people like that it is incomprehensible what it must feel like to come off the pill and then go through cycle after cycle and not automatically falling pregnant. People like that cannot empathise as they have no idea what it feels like, they celebrate their news because they are so happy, and totally unaware of what their joy is doing to those people who are closest to them, and who desperately want the same thing as they already have. Just remember, your baby will come, the right baby, at the right time, the baby you are meant to have. It's something that is incredibly easy to lose sight of when you get that bfn or when af arrives, but when you get that BFP, when you feel that baby kick for the first time, you will know that you were meant to be pregnant at that particular time. And in the meantime we're always here if you need to pour everything out.

As for your sister, she doesn't see you as the enemy, but she's almost in the same position as your friends, but on the other side of the coin. As someone who isn't able to have a baby naturally, to her it is incomprehensible that someone could be trying and getting frustrated when she has to go through cycles of invasive treatments and she knows that there may potentially be no positive result at the end. It will be very hard for her to empathise with you also, because although she knows what it feels like to not be pregnant and to want to be pregnant, for her, the journey is that much more difficult, and for her, she is the only one going through this.

I hope I'm making some sense here.

Just remember that you are never on your own, and just remember that when your best friends are going through their pregnancies and when they're going through labour and the beginnings of sleepless nights, you can be happy for them, and for yourself, because you will still have that to look forward to, and for them, the feelings of being pregnant, the first kick, first scan, will have already passed, and you will still have it to come.

I hope this makes some sense and sorry if this is a bit long, just remember there are others who are thinking of you and who know what you're going through.

keep smiling

(((hugs)))) xxx

OP posts:
pussycatmomma · 25/02/2006 21:38

Thankyou so much wannabe and NatJ........I do appreciate the support, I really do.
It is so easy to think that everyone else is sailing through it all, when really I guess that alot of feelings we all have are quite similar. You are right, I do feel guilty for even feeling these things, so much. It almost makes the wanting to have a babe myself so much worse iyswim. Wannabe, I remember you saying similar things about the baby you have being the baby you are meant to have a while back, and it has helped me, and you saying it again has reminded me how right you are, and to try and keep these thoughts in my mind. Sometimes I feel as if i will never be a mum, that i am simply not good enough to be a parent and that it is Gods way of telling me............if that doesnt sound completely crazy. You know how it is sometimes, your thoughts run away with you dont they. I am trying SO hard, so , so , hard to almost wish this baby here.......everything in my life im trying to improve at , be better at , make things ok, do the right things, be a perfect person......although i know i cant be, almost so i can tell myself , i have tried my hardest and that it is not my fault............................i am working on so much at the moment. it is hard for me sometimes.
Sorry if i am going on.
feel a bit like i am a bit of a drain on your lovely chatty threads, maybe it would be better altoghter if i gave up this notion of ttc..........surely if it is meant to be it will happen without my efforts and intervention?? i know i am becoming obsessed about it and this will not help me in the long run. But I have really enjoyed the interaction with everyone, and sincerely wish all of you the very best in the future............Trace, Peachy, Wannabe, Corri, you are all stars, the best.
((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))pusscat x x x

peachygirl · 26/02/2006 15:28

Pussycat,
Sweetie I am worried about you?..
I know the last few days have been really hard for you but... giving up is not the answer. It is really hard seeing all your friends in the place where you want to be and with your sister who may never get there but you have to focus on YOU. What you and your DH want is paramount here. Conceiving does take time, for most women it can take up to a year. I keep seeing these statistics.
Of 100 couple trying to conceive naturally
20 will conceive within 1 month,
70 within six months
85 within a year
90 within 18 months
And 95 within two years.
When you read about several of the women on our thread most of them tried for at least 5 months before conceiving naturally. Most of us are not sailing through it all. The ever vigilant observation of our cycles, persuasion of DH/DPs to BD, healthy eating, drinking, exercise. This is all another part of our lives we have to incorporate into the busy stressful life we already have and it?s a really private thing ? not something we can discuss with most people ( I for one worry that, every time I say we?re trying, it means that we will never be successful)
HTH
You can email me if you like
(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

pussycatmomma · 26/02/2006 18:22

thanks for the encouragement Peachy. Dont be worried Im just feeling a down about things thats all. My head seems to be spinning with stuff, and I just want to not think about it all anymore...easier said than done! I too have read the stats you mentioned in your post, and as normal as we all seem to be it is so difficult not to worry unduly. It all feels a bit too big for me to manage atm. Dont get me wrong, im not giving up ttc, i just wish it was less of a focus for me, after all, i havent spent the last 30 yrs ttc, why is it such a big issue to me now?? I know i have a lot of things to work on, and im trying to keep it all together.
I think the bottom line is i - need - to - think - about - other - things.
Maybe then ill start to feel like im in control a little more, rather than having what feels like every waking thought obsessing about things.
Thankyou for your comments though, it is good to have an objective viewpoint.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

spod · 26/02/2006 20:07

Message deleted

pussycatmomma · 26/02/2006 20:27

hi spod, sorry you are feeling the blues too today. I know what you mean completely about wanting it all yesterday, that is me all over.
I think Hopingcat got a bfp on friday, she was on the chat thread i think. She was going to do another one with her dh over the weekend as i think her line was very faint. Whats your circs spod?

spod · 26/02/2006 20:29

Message deleted

pussycatmomma · 26/02/2006 20:31

no probs hun

trace2 · 26/02/2006 20:40

hi pussycat did you get my e-mail sweety?

pussycatmomma · 26/02/2006 20:43

yes, thankyou trace, it was lovely and very kind of you to mail me.
How are you?

trace2 · 26/02/2006 21:00

am ok, but am more intrested in you

pussycatmomma · 26/02/2006 21:20

sorry trace was busy , am back now.
im really fed up chick. been in a horrid mood all day. We've been looking at houses today. Am trying to convince myself I want to move house, and throwing myself into the idea.
I dont, of course, but is my way of taking my mind off stuff. Trouble is dh getting quite into the idea. Typical isnt it. Feel like am trying to tell myself all this doesnt matter, i can throw myself into finding a house and moving and i'll be too busy to think about babies. But we both know it doesnt work like that does it.......

trace2 · 26/02/2006 21:25

no if you like it where you are, stop there, if you want to take your mind of things, try card making, its worked for me, and it dont cost that much as moving,

i know hun your feeling down, just wish i could click my fingers for you, youll be a great mum

pussycatmomma · 26/02/2006 21:41

thankyou sweetie, sometimes (well most of the time) i completely doubt myself, feel as if im no good at anything. Just the way i am i 'spose. Never done card making before.....as for moving, i get these ideas in my head! daft really. I do like where we are, lovely road, close to work , town etc, but in my head, its like i need to make things better all the time. we are 3bed detatched, dont know why but keep looking at new ones, which is ridiculous........if we have bambinos we dont want more mortgage, cant help looking though. If we stay put we might have an extension eventually to make more bedrooms. I hope its my month soon trace, im sending myself potty....you know exactly what its like hun.
Have you any tips for my persona machine? didnt get full user guide with it, the website doesnt say anything about getting an ovulation sign. What do i look for?

trace2 · 26/02/2006 21:42

going to bed now ,will chat later i hope you feel better tomorrow, ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))hugs))))))))))))))))))))hugs))))))))))))))))

trace2 · 26/02/2006 21:43

wait a min

trace2 · 26/02/2006 21:48

rigt when you press the m button on first day of af, your testing will be three hour either side say i pressed m at 8am, but i pee in a pot AS SOME TIMES DS GETS ME UP EARLY press the m button for 5 sec,release when m symbol together with num 1

trace2 · 26/02/2006 21:51

then the green light will come on, you open then everyday,you will need to test on day six for 22 days mine are all red, but as i thought not had egg sign, but some get from about day 14 up to 23, ive not had any, i was just hoping i might, as gp says some months i could ovulate

velcrobott · 26/02/2006 21:55

Well I have not been on TTC threads for a long time as I kind of gave up - been diagnosed in early menopause (am 38)... but not giving up yet.... thought I had a cycle this month.... they are rare and far between..... so did the deed and hope (small hope) to get a BFP.....
Seems like you are all new to me... very different lot to when I use to post on TTC threads... guess many graduated and some - like me - gave up !

trace2 · 26/02/2006 21:57

hi velcrobott, hope your right hun, been trying for a year, am 40 in april told am not ovulating, but i keep trying too, waiting for fertilty clinc

velcrobott · 26/02/2006 21:58

How do you know you are not ovulating ?
I've had many blood tests done but nothing else... you ?

velcrobott · 26/02/2006 21:59

What do "they" think is the problem?

pussycatmomma · 26/02/2006 21:59

thanks trace, you get off to bed sweetie, i think i'll have to have a persona masterclass off you and peachy if i get af on the 5th. thanks anyway chick.
Hi velcrobott (bizarre name!) i am also just off to bed but the threads get v. busy, we have our ups and downs, but everyone is lovley and you are sure to find support when you need it.
sorry im leaving but if youre around tomorrow pop on when its busier and introduce yourself
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))to all

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