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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

18th months TTC and not even a whisper of a pregnancy

8 replies

onedaybaby · 20/01/2012 18:57

Its so frustrating and I just wondered if anyone else was in the same boat. Every month is getting harder for us, particularly as there has not even been a hint of a pregnancy, to prove that we can get pregnant.

We are waiting to be referred to a clinic but I am not holding out much hope as I have read that they like you to be trying 2-3 years.

DH has borderline low sperm count and I ovulate really late, (8 days LP), but GP says that this will not affect us. But something obviously is!

I never realised how difficult this could be, and how each month is more upsetting than the last. :(

OP posts:

5babyangels · 20/01/2012 23:56

hello, you're not on your own! i had 4 children with EH and took it for granted I could fall pregnant at driop of a hat! Even though i have endo. Then was on my own for several years got together with new DP and hadn't even thought about having a baby when found out i was pregnant and lost it a few weeks later.....completely new experience for me....felt completely broken. Was deverstated as when i found out i was delighted even though bit of a shock! Time went by and endo got worse each month i was in more pain, really heavy bleeding which was horrible as a complete reminder it wasn't working! Tried sticking a wooden spoon under the bed.....to standing on my head after the whiff of a sperm.....got so stressed about it as it's somethig my body had always been able to do. Except now it wouldn't. I decided i had enough of waiting for a baby not to materialise and busied myself with everything else. Threw myself into work, stopped thinking about it. Then Christmas 2010 my lovely bunnies went off to see their dad for a week. I completely relaxed wasn't even thinking about a baby....and then like magic he materialised! He's 4 months now and a complete delight. It did take 2 years mind!!! Good luck xx

MCT76 · 21/01/2012 02:41

Hi oneday, I am in a very similar position to you. We've been trying for nearly 2 years and nothing yet...because of my age, we asked to be referred to a specialist after 6 months but with waiting times and all that, it took us a year to be given the green light for IUI (starting on my next cycle) and IVF is looking doubtful at the moment as the NHS has stopped funding it in my area so we are looking into going private if needed be...It is incredibly frustrating and as soon as you start trying, everyone and their aunt seem to be getting pregnant/giving birth which makes it even harder...

If I were you, I would ask the GP for a referral to a fertility specialist given your DH's low sperm count and the time you've been trying and considering that it can take 5-6 months to see a consultant.

Good luck and try to keep positive (I know how hard it is but it's the best way forward...)

MuddyWellyNelly · 21/01/2012 08:20

Yes, sadly there are lots of us on here, all seeking solace, company, some answers. I'm on the TTC +10 months thread, join us if you like? It's a wonderful place to vent, share concerns etc. I've been TTC for 18 months now and like you not a single BFP. I'm no spring chicken either and it's no fun.

PopcornMouse · 21/01/2012 08:22

You're in good company OP!

I'd ask to be referred; what with the waiting times, by the time you get seen, you'll have been ttc for 2 years anyway imho.

MuddyWellyNelly · 21/01/2012 08:22

Oh also there is lots of anecdotal evidence that acupuncture can help a LP defect. As I understand it, an 8 day LP is not likely to be helping. I believe 10-11 would be the ideal minimum, albeit I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule!

PhoenixFromTheFlames · 21/01/2012 08:23

Is you DH low in mood/lacking sex drive? My DH had this and when they checked his prolactin levels it turned out that was the problem. He's on treatment now and loads better.
It's been 2 years ttc for us now. One whisper (chemical pregnancy) which believe me is agonising!
We were taken seriously at clinic after 18 months. Had lots of bloods, Hsg, fanny cam and DH had two SA and bloods taken to get to the bottom of the problem. I think generally if they can't find a cause for infertility they want you to have been ttc for 2-3 years before you're eligible for ivf...
Do you have a clinic appt date yet?
If you want company, check out the hut of gloom and doom in infertility. We're all in a similar position and can offer you some support.

joycep · 21/01/2012 09:18

Oneday - it's miserable and there are loads of us who are in the same position. All I would say is don't listen to your Gp on fertility. Sorry if that is a sweeping statement but often they don't have the expertise in it - as I have learnt and have been told numerous times. So to be told your 8 day LP is ok by your GP is certainly not correct. Have you discussed your LP with a gynae? Average implantation time is 9.4 days by which time your period would have come. My consultant said my 10/11 day Lp was too short - 12 ideally really should be the minimum. Anyway I think this certainly An area to get to the bottom of. What were your progesterone results?

upwalthambarnsahoy · 21/01/2012 11:02

I've never had a glimmer either so completely empathise.

We are coming up for 18 months TTC although I found that my GP was happy to refer us when I asked him to after we'd been trying for a year so put some pressure on your GP to refer you ASAP. It doesn't necessarily take ages for a referral to come through, we had a letter inviting us to go in for tests within a month but I guess it depends on your Primary Care Trust's waiting time.

I'd also second the opinion that some GPs are useless - mine certainly have been (with the exception of referring when I asked!). Turns out they gave me the wrong rubella test, twice. Told me I wasn't immune so had to have the MMR and stop trying for a month. I might have been immune all along. Sent me for day 21 hormone tests without asking how long my cycle was so more useless tests, it turns out. I have spent so much time on attending unneccessary blood tests! The GP's incompetance in so many areas has been the biggest source of stress, upset and frustration so far for me. If I hadn't educated myself via this forum and books I'd have been none the wiser which worries me for others who might assume the GP knows what they're talking about!!

My DH has a low count too. I've just started acupuncture in the hope it might help my cycles and get my womb into shape (!) and we are hopefully going to start IVF in March, although that is pretty scary in itself. Desparately hoping that Jan or Feb are my months instead... And my best friend has just got pregnant on the first month of trying, which is what also happened with her first baby - wish I had her super-fertile eggs!

Good luck onedaybaby and everyone else, fingers crossed we all get there soon.

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