should we try for baby number 7 ??

[gemcgem]

hi im a mum to 6 want to be mummy to 7 !
my DH works full time , we own our own home , and have been married for 11 years in june .
BUT all mine and his family have TOLD us "dont you dare have any more"
but i really want another baby , i just love been pregnant , giving birth and breast feeding .
we dont ask for any help off any one , i can count on one hand how many times we've been out on our own in the last 11 years . should we listen to every body else or go with OUR hearts ??
i just dont want people to reject our baby , and im scared of how many " OH NO'S" we'll get instead of congrates .

what would you do ??

No you should not have number 7. enjoy the ones you have.

I think it's up to you and not everyone else.

If you love the first bits, have you considered surrogacy?

IMO it's nothing to do with anyone but you & your dh.
If you get any oh no's reply with 'well we're over the moon' or say something that will make them feel as if they should keep their traps shut.

what about the bits that come after pregncny/infancy- do you love those bits too?
why do your family say don't have any more- do they perceive you as not coping in some way?

Coming from big families, no, I think you should be happy with 6 (!) - it's not fair on the kids you already have. As they get older, they will effectively be expected to be "mini-adults", helping you care for the young ones, and will miss out on their own childhood. But that's just baggage imho.

I watched 15 and counting last night and it was very insightful what I got from it was that basically having babies is bait of an addiction, I've just had no 3 and said It would be the last time but already feel sad and have brought up the subject of 4 with dh. But having watched it what i would have to ask myself is is it fair on my other dc and will I ever feel done, the answer is probably no.

of course i love all my children , i love seeing them develope and grow in to little people , both my parents come from large families and i love having lots of aunties , uncle's and cousions .
all my children get everything they ask for , and im defo able to cope ( strange thing to suggest ) i love to be kept busy , dressing , feeding and chothing them ALL . i dont just look at the baby thing , im looking forward to when there all adults sitting round my table with there children .
i allways wanted a large family , and i soppose i was looking for a positive responce :( but hay hoe thats life , i look at people with one or two children and think of all the little people there missing out on meeting .

Watch 15 and counting on c4 on demand and see what you think, I thought the mum with the 15 was amazing but I did feel a bit sorry for their dc.

Ps I really wouldn't care what others think only your dh, dc and you. When I announced no 3 I couldn't believe how many people commented negatively.

i would never go in to double figures now that is nuts lol, my DD who is 9 only ever aks's when i'll av another baby , my kids all love each other and love the fact there the only kids they know who dont get bored in the school hols , they allways have somebody to play with .
if i could work the computer id love to watch it Snakeonaplane , but i do kids not computers lol.

I look at these things like this:

Every child needs at least 30 mins of 1 to 1 time with Mum (or Dad) per day. Or an hour every other day, but definitely regular special time with a parent.

Could you provide that time on top of everything else?

yes i can and do ! im super mum , if one of my children came to me and said "i dont feel loved " part of me would just die ... i have all the time in the world for my children , i no plenty who work 9 till 5 with only 2 children in nursery 7 till 6 now do they get all the love they need from there parents too?

Personally I think that I could not give 7 children as good an upbringing as I could give say 2 or 3 or 4 children.

I would have less time for each of them (and less money and house space for each of them too - less important of course but still important).

I imagine that with 7 children, family life would turn into a constant routine of washing and dressing and feeding and clearing up, with not enough time to do things like sit down and help each child with their reading.

However if you really can do it all, including spending plenty of time with each child individually, my hat is off to you and you should go for it!

It's selfish and selfless is one go...

Firstly, it is selfish because you are not thinking of your existing DC, what about the quality time each of them need each and every day? Throw another baby in the mix and it means each get even less time with mum (and dad).

It's also selfless because you are creating a new life, but you have to balance this concept out with what you already have in your life - six wonderful children who want more of your attention.

"why did i post " becuse i love to hear what "normal " people make of my "un normal " family !!
i dont just loves babies , you'd think id learn on here to explain my self better !
i love the hole package , watching them grow , who they will all be . i carn't wait to cook sunday lunch for all my grown children and there children , i will be the proudist mum / grandma.
and my older children , DO NOT parent there younger siblings ,( i possible ask them to pass me a baby wipe from time to time) if anything im allways been told i do to much for the older ones , i love to be busy !! i carn't sit still , and to me ( this will get me some more stick ) children ARE NOT hard work ,we have a great night time routine, they all sleep through the night and have since 4 to 6 weeks of age!!
i do 2 loads of washing a day and love sorting out there out grown colths , it brings back lovley menories .
we dont have familiy days out every weekend but we do at least once a month , we enjoy going to the pictures, bowling , going to the seaside , football matchs.
they all do out of school actitives too .
its what i do and i do it great ! if a singer sings well they bring out more ablums , if a actor acts great they make more movies , so if i can and do bring beautiful well rounded , caring , sharing children in to the world AND we ( me and DH) can provid for them should it really be a problem ??

i asked all my children one to one " do you feel unloved because theres 6 of you ?" they all answerd NO , "i love you mummy and you love me and i love all my bros and sis's" . with the exception of my 11 year old who said " no because you wont buy me a tiger" just proves how spoilt he is . lol.

also do parent's who both work 9 till 5 with there children in care , do they provid enough attention for there 2 children ??

my question in the thread is " should people reject a baby because its number 7 and not 2 ?? " NOT do i love my children and can i afford them , if i couldnt and dont, i wouldnt have any more full stop !

p.s sorry for the spelling , i hope you dont judge me as a person on my tpying grammer , im a bit old school .

hope this answers some of your question 's do i still sound mad ??

A lot of people will think you're mad but if you can afford to have another one go for it, it really isn't anyone else's business.

On a purely practical note, if there's 8 of you, surely that works ok e.g. everyone fits in one people carrier but 9 won't! It is up to you and DH, there's lots of practicalities to be considered. Do be aware that many people on this forum are struggling with ttc and are simply desperate for baby #1 like myself and pondering baby number 7 may cause some negative reactions....
How old is your oldest dc now? How do they feel about another sibling? How big is your house?!

Your house sounds like a real home with lots of love - just how it should be! I couldn't cope with that number of dcs but think if you think you can then why not! :-)
If you're self-reliant no-one else needs to worry about it. I could understand your family being down on it of you leaned on them because of your dcs, as you would be affecting their life not just yours, but if that isn't happening it is probably just a case of they simply can't understand your choice as it would never be theirs. Forgive them for being unable to imagine why you might want to and make your own decision.
Assume you are fit and healthy and can expect a child who is too?
Prepare yourself for lots of Snow White and 7 dwarves jokes though.

i like that " snow white and 7 dwarves" snowbeetle , thankyou :) and i totally understand those struggleing to concive , it took me nearly 2 years to have my frist and a year for my 3rd , and not much luck yet with the 7th :( .
to all those trying , keep trying and good luck .

lockets , im not looking for peoples opinion on weather to have another child or not , what im trying to find out is what people really think of large families .
why people ask " are you mad " to me its normal . i just wanted a out sider's view !?!?
i know i want another , i just hope it happens soon .

Well my view of large families is they obviously have more stamina than me!
I love the fact the world is full of different people and we all have something to teach each other. I feel inspired that a mum can relish the joy of 7 children and her childrens' only complaint is a lack of a tiger

Reading your OP, I really think you should not have number 7. You say the following: "I love being pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding". Not good enough reasons to continue having children.

So what will happen after number 7 is born and the breastfeeding is over? you will want number 8.
I watched the program on the iplayer about the family with 15 going on 16, the mum admits that the root cause of her "addiction" is her and her husband's feeling of being rejected because they were given for adoption.

Therefore: I would look for some therapy to try and find/solve the problem that causes this need of having baby after baby rather than continue procreating. The impact on our planet, and resources is just to large to ignore.

sometimes in life you have to think with your head - this is one of these situations. look at welfare reforms, how would you cope without six/seven lots of child benefit payments every month? children cost money.

me and DH have spoke about that , with what has been sad in the news , and if we lose it , lose it , we'd still cope .
thanks for the insight everyone , at least now i know what people local to me must be saying to