What's the next step after just taking a relaxed approach?

[philbee]

I got pg with DD1 after TTCing for 3 months and pg no. 2 (which ended in mc last year, possible blighted ovum) after 4 months. I assumed it would be similar this time, but we've been TTCing 5 months now (not a looong time, I realise). Its not a very organised attempt as we're trying to stay relaxed, but I am starting to worry. I'm 35 now and have had ovarian cysts in the past, although it doesn't seem to have been a problem for conceiving before. What's the next step in terms of TTCing? Do I need to start charting things? I've cut down to one coffee a day, and barely drink, are there other things I should be doing / start doing? I am starting to think that my fertility has changed, or that the other pgs were just lucky accidents. Thanks all.

Read 'taking charge of your fertilty' by Toni weschler. Sounds hippyish but is an amazing book that will help you know when the best time to try is.

We used ovulation kits to say when I was ovulating, showing us the best days to do the biz. My husband also started to wear baggier underwear.

I would start using ovulation kits too just to chart your cycles. After a year of TTC, see your doc :)

Oh, and for the record I conceived my little miracle DS (was told I would never conceive naturally) one weekend when I was absolutley steaming drunk and had wild sex with DH just for the fun of it

Second vote for the Toni Weschler book here too. I would spend my money on that rather than ovulation kits. You just have to get past the slightly over the top feminist bits in there but it is an absolutely brilliant book - I've lost count of how many women I've lent my copy to in the last fifteen years or so. Good luck x

Hi Philbee - you may want to consider alternative therapies while you hold off on testing. Acupuncture (poss with Chinese herbs) is well worth considering and you can explain your background re' cysts and miscarriage, which you'll be treated for, as well as prepare for the next pg.

5 months TTC isn't too long but it's worth helping yourself in any way you can so you worry less, and I think acupuncture is empowering and good for you. The Toni Weschler book is great if you know your cycle and health is basically normal but it won't help if there are some problems around cysts/hormones etc.

I would also recommend BBT charting - go onto fertility friend - it helps track your cycle - a bit of a pain to begin with but soon becomes 2nd nature. It will only cost you a BBT thermometer (which you can get off of amazon) and off you go :)

I would give Chinese meds a miss care fertility have had poor results. With them. As over 35 see gp six months after FTC

Hi philbee,

I could have written you post as I'm in the same boat! I concieved ds1 on my first cycle of ttc then conceived in my second cycle of ttc for my second pregnancy, which ended in mc at 12 weeks in sept. We are now in cycle 4 of ttc again and I'm having exactly the same thoughts as you. I've no reason to think there is an issue with my fertility after the mc, but just desperate to be pg again! I'm also 38 this month. I started using opk last month and also starting reading up on fertility friend too, so I'd also suggest starting to look at that too.

Best of luck for BFP soon xx

Thanks all. Will the GP actually be interested after six months? It seems like they'll just send me home and say 'come back in another six months!' Thanks for the Fertility Friend link - I've checked it out and will try to get the app. And the book as well. I'm not very keen on acupuncture so I'm not sure that's for me really, but thank you anyway. It's all just a bit depressing, isn't it? I really hoped we could manage to get pg without all this, and having to wake up at the same time every day to take temp etc. It will be a hard sell to DH that I should start this stuff, I think. He is really most keen on the 'not having to think about it' approach, and doesn't understand why I find that difficult.

Once you're 35 the GP will be happy to start investigations. It's a slow process, so might as well get it started.

OK. One more month then. I've ordered the book and dug out the thermometer. It's a Boots digital one with one decimal place - that will be ok, won't it? I suppose action might feel more empowering than just waiting and seeing all the time, anyway.

hi Philbee - no that thermometer won't do - it has to be 2 decimal places - I bought the babymad waterproof version on Amazon it was about £5 and was delivered following day. Started off taking temp orally but that was a bit hit and miss so this month I have been temping vaginally (bit gross to begin with but over that now

I would try and have 3 cycles worth of charts if you can wait that long before seeing GP just to pick up anything odd - once cycle can't really tell you anything.... I have DS 4.10, MMC about 15 moths ago and started keeping records beginning of November, however I am 42 in May so an old bird

Good luck

are you having enough sex? Try to make sure you are getting 3 times a week during the middle two weeks of your cycle, and particularly days 10-18 if you have a fairly average length cycle.

if you are already having lots of sex, I would say the next step would be ovulation testing or a clearblue fertility monitor, whilst still doing lots of sex anyway. Also give it another month or so and then book your gp appointment.
I personally wouldn't do the temping, it's too stressful and a bit inyerface when you have alarms going off to wake you up at the same time every day. With the ovulation testing and/or fertility monitor you don't have to expose your partner to it all, you just have to jump on him at the right time.

Possibly not enough sex . It's been twice a week during those two weeks, but have talked now and said we need to try for three times a week, and maybe more often during days 10-18. DH very much not keen on charting and worried about the stress, plus I really feel I'd not be observant enough. We'll give it a few more months with more sex, and then I guess I'll get some ov tests and see the GP.

magicrabbit - I'm sorry to hear you're in the same position. It's very hard. Several of my friends are pg or have small babies and I just haven't seen them for months, it's too much really. Fingers crossed for you too.

I told mine that as long as he kept to his end of the deal and shagged me three times a week then he wouldn't need to know about all the science going on in the bathroom. It worked fine for both of us. I was keen to conceive quickly after a 2nd mc, but we never got to the point of it taking over a year so never needed to go all medical about it.

I downloaded an app onto my mobile phone. It guessed when your fertile days might be depending on your cycle length, and you could enter notes in it such as when you got a positive ov test and recording the days when you had sex. Helps to see if you are doing it at the right time.