mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

Yeah "just enjoy having lots of sex". If only they knew

Right, hands up! Who here has had a lap and dye or a hysteroscopy? I've just received a pack of leaflets about mine (not for another couple of months yet) and am now scared. I've never had any kind of operation or a general anaesthetic before and the idea of actual cuts freaks me out quite a lot. I know they're only tiny but the picture looked vile. Reassure me if you can. I know I'm being a big baby. Thanks.

Soph and Sonics.

Have a good weekend everyone!

notnowi'mreading - no, just a HSG but I think the incision they make is minute. My friend had one. She worried sick about it and turned out to be fine.

notnow they showed you pictures?!?! What were they thinking?!?! I've had lap, dye, hysto - all as part of the same op. I was super squeamish about the cuts & that was without any bloody photos!
I have 3 v small scars but they're fading fast (mine was in October) - they're v low so usually hidden by knickers/bikini. The way my husband put is was, if the op shows up a problem (mine did btw), and they fix it so we finally have a baby (still waiting on that one...) then I'll potentially get stretch marks/c-section scar, all sorts & so 3 tiny scars, less than 1cm each won't matter a damn! This baby business sure ain't for the faint hearted...
Ps be warned, after my op, my Dr talked me through photos of my op, as in, pictures of my heart shaped womb being re-shaped- ewwwwwww!

Ps
caprinhas how did your scan go? Hope you're doing ok, exciting/scary times ahead!
missbrightside steam cleaner update please! I've been googling - not sure I could use them on wood floors but they sound crazy good for tile & carpet. Once we finally buy some rugs, maybe then I'll NEED one

I can't help I'm afraid notnow but we have our next docs appt on Monday to ask what the next steps are, so I might be coming back to ask how you got on if that's what's down the road for me.

AF arrived for me yesterday. Was so hopeful this month. Stupid . Glad we have the docs on Monday. Going to get up and give the house a good clean! That'll make me feel better

How is everyone else doing?

On a non TTC note we went to see life of pi last night and I loved it. Such a beautiful film, the cinematography was amazing. Well worth going to see - ang lee definitely did the book justice (read it if you haven't already!!)

Have a great weekend ladies

Sonics I loved the book and the film too

notnow sorry, not had either of those but like Lesley says, if they fix something and you get pregnant, you'll be going through worse!

Lesley all good thanks. 2nd scan showed at least 6 follies that were big enough so we're booked in for egg collection on Monday!

Sonics - sorry about your AF. I too was especially hopeful this month (1st round of clomid) but BFN this am. Think I had further to fall this month :-(

Just informed DH that hes not allowed to drink in Feb...lol

That's so exciting, Caipirinhas! Well done on producing so many - maybe your body has decided to cooperate after all. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Thanks for the info Lesley. It's basically what I think too, as in, a tiny deal in the long run. Just weird to have persuaded someone to cut my belly on purpose, that's all.

Brightside, get back here with the steam cleaner stories!

Sonic, if you can get them to do both lap and hysto at the same time, apparently that's very good. The hysteroscopy is supposed to make conception easier in the next couple of cycles, too. I've had my history taken a few times when trying to get these investigations and am pretty sure that if you want a laparoscopy, you have to say yes when they ask you if you have painful periods or pain in between times. I've spent two years saying 'no, no, it's fine' until the sympathetic Gynae said 'But I'm sure you must have had some pain?' and immediately wrote down lap and dye as soon as I caught on and said 'well, yes, it can be quite uncomfortable.'

Dear Domestic Goddesses' (hmmm, should there be another 's' there ?)

Can I suggest that to forget about your TTC woes you get cleaning instead. So satisfying ! I haven't had time to get as hot and steamy as I would have liked to and haven't really got to grips with it yet (oh yes, there is a skill to steaming !) ... but so far I am VERY impressed (and not much impresses me ...) All I've done so far is the toilet (separate to the bathroom) and the hall carpet. Now, I would have described my toilet floor (ceramic tiles) as very clean. I now know it was bloody filthy ! The grout is now gleaming and it looks like a new floor ! There was a really irritting mark in the grout on the wall (no idea what it was but nothing would get it off) - one blast of the steam and it was gone ... ! I'm going to attack the kitchen tomorrow .... ! Oh yes !

Caiphirinas Go Caiphirinas, Go Caiphirinas ! Good luck to you for Monday.

Not Now I've now been told to have a hysterescopy (even though I'd self diagnosed myself ages ago. I'm turning into someone that doctors really HATE !) so I now have that to look forward to as well. It'll be fine. Although I have no need to see the photos afterwards ...... !

Lesley You can get a special attachment for wooden floors (sorry, I'm still harping on about the bloody steam cleaner !)

Sonic You have reminded me that I really should pull my finger out and go and see it at the cinema before it ends (a DVD at home won't be the same !)

Soph, Bearface and Pomatron I've decided that giving things up comes to no good .... ! Although, that said, I seem to have developed this inbuilt guilt radar that stops me having too much of anything 'bad'. Boring boring boring !

Starfish How are you doing ? Hope you managed to get a 'snow day' off !

Hope I haven't missed anyone !

Anyhow, it's Saturday night and I seem to be watching an old episode of 'My Family' on Sky ! Has it really come to this ...... ???

xxx

Missbrightside the cleaner sounds amazing. I totally agree about cleaning. Had a full day cleaning the house today & it's really taken my mind off things. Found it quite cathartic. Also eaten loads of chocolate too but I think that's a given on cd1.

Soph I know what you mean about having further to fall. I feel like that this month too. Hope you're doing ok.

Thanks for the advice notnow. I'll let you know how I get on at the docs.

Misbrightside - lets face it, I probably wouldn't 'give up' anyway lol. I just like the idea of forgetting about it all and miraculously getting preggers haha!

Sonics - haven't actually had AF yet so guess there's still a little hope x

Oh steam cleaner sounds good, maybe I should get one, the grout is yuck and I've tried all kinds of cleaning products but to no avail.
notnow I've had the lap and its really not as bad as they make it out to be, I was signed off work for a week but went back after 3 days ( much to my husbands disgust, he seemed to think that I should have stayed at home and made the most of it), the only thing that freaked me out ( and I'm not sure why) was the cut in the belly button, it didn't hurt just didn't like the idea of it! I had a rather swollen belly but that was it and I only have 2 very small scars. Really don't be worried it will be fine, and I quite like the general it's like having a really nice sleep!
caiphrininas that's great news :)
Hello to everyone else
Xx

Just got my sodding period. Why when it's roughly my 36th cycle do I still get so disappointed?
I should clean & tidy house but I know just feel like being snappy, lying on sofa & stuffing my face with chocolate biscuits!!!

Sorry. Rant over.

caprinhas best of luck for today - will keep all crossed they get a good haul & that you'll be on your way v soon x

pomatron any word from your clinic yet about appt?

Thanks for kind words bearface - hope that ruddy lightening bolt hurrys the f* up!!

everyone (sorry on phone & scrolling up & down properly is impossible) - hope u all had lovely weekends!!

Sorry to crash this thread but I feel like I have found some kindred spirits. I've been looking at ttc blogs for some time looking for the holy grail of ttc tips, but then googled 'pissed off ttc' and you lot came up.

I too got my period (again!!) today. I'm 37 and have been trying to conceive since I was about 31/32. My partner is 41 and all his tests are fine. I'm hacked off at the world! I'm hacked off at getting older. I am hacked off that everyone has had two kids whilst I have been trying for one. I am hacked off that my boobs get sore which kids me on into thinking I am pregnant. I am hacked off that an old friend from school emails me to moan about her pregnancy symptoms. I am hacked off about the thought of being old with no kids to come and see me in an old folks home. I am hacked off that people don't even ask me any more if I want kids as they've given up on me. I'd be hacked off if they did ask too though.

I've had umpteen tests which have found nothing apart from very active ovaries, high AMH and nothing else untoward so I just don't get it. So I have 'undiagnosed infertility'. So far I've had two rounds of IVF, one unsuccessful and one last may that resulted in a mc at just over five weeks. I've also had an unsuccessful frozen embryo transfer last December 2012. I've tried everything... Acupuncture, Chinese herbs, not exercising, exercising, eating lots of spinach and broccoli, only eating warm foods, l'arginine, vitamin e, vitex, no baths.....

And to top it off for the last two months I've been bleeding right from ovulation through to my period. Initially panicked and thought I was going through the menopause but saw a very sympathetic GP who examined me and has deduced that have abrasions on my cervix which are bleeding, probably caused by the ivf instruments or the crinone progesterone gel. So now I have to go to the colposcopy clinic to get that sorted.

Thanks for listening and I truly understand what each and everyone one of you is going through. It's tough.

Morning everyone

Up stupidly early to have breakfast before 6.30 as not allowed to eat after.

lesley sorry AF arrived again and sod the housework

missbrightside I'm loving the sound of your steam cleaner too - that might actually make me want to clean my house instead of just moaning about the state of it!

edinburgh glad you found us! The no-one to visit when we're old bit gets me too! I've had a copolscopy before years ago but didn't have loads of bleeding. My sister had to have one too as she used to be pretty much bleeding all month, think she was told it was probably pill related

Hi to soph, sonics, pomatron, notnow and anyone else

I'm due for egg collection at 1pm so will report back later
Xx

Just a quick one as THIS is the week that I FOCUS at work ...... !

Welcome Edinbughgal. Very welcome to come and moan with us ! I'm loving that this thread comes up when you google 'pissed off' ! And am glad it's not just me that googles what is in my head. I really really hope I never die in mysterious circumstances and the police look through my internet history. Will be very embarrassing .... ! Last year my Dad's internet connection went off line for a week or so and he asked if he could go round mine during the day to use my computer !!! I spent a frantic couple of hours the night before trying to delete all my history !!!!!!! (Not that for one minute I think he was going to purposely look at it by the way !!!) I really don't need my Dad to know that my most frequently googled terms are probably 'sex', 'sperm', 'eggs', 'improving chances of IVF success' .... you get the idea ....... !!

'Caiphirinas' Will think of you at 1pm (Just as I tuck into my lunch !) Hope all goes well.

Have a good day everyone xx

Hi ladies,
I hope you don't mind if I join you.
Reading some of your posts, I can really identify with your situations.
A bit about me:
I am 35. DH is 39. Been TTC for 3 years and 4 months.
I have low FSH (around 4)
AMH is quite high (around 23)
Ovarian count 7
Also had Lap & dye tests (all normal)
DH sperm is normal too
We too have been diagnosed as "Unexplained infertility"
To be honest, I think this diagnosis lead me into a false sense of security. I did not really start thinking about AC until a few months ago as I think it too almost 3 years before I could accept that I could not conceive naturally. Stupid I know. Everyone I know was telling me to seek help but it really didn't occur to me that I needed to after all the doctors all told me there was nothing wrong.
I am due to have SuperOvulation IUI... have been on Clomid last week and have scan this week to see how follies are doing.
I feel so tired and exhausted from TTC. I have up and down days but overall it's just getting too much being disappointed month after month after month.
Thanks for reading ladies and I hope to read your progress.

Hi everyone. I've tried to memorise everyone new's names - really annoying that the app doesn't let you flock back to remind yourself. Welcome to Stevie and Edinburghgal. This does appear to be a nice comfy retirement home for the permanently pissed off! (Although really hoping not too permanently and have my fingers crossed for you today Caipirinhas.)

Sorry about AF, Lesley. I totally get the disappointment, even though we know full well that there's very limited likelihood of everything magically changing at this point - I still get quite overexcited when AF is even a few hours late. I managed to Jedi mind trick myself into not getting all het up for five days this month, then on the sixth day gave in to the 'what ifs' and guess what...

Thanks for the info about the lap/hysto, Pomatron. The belly button thing is really creepy, isn't it? Going to forget about it now for a couple of months and never look at the pictures again!

Good luck with the work focus, Brightside (laughs wryly). You enjoy that.

just a quickie from me, they got 12 eggs! really pleased as was half expecting none! the sedation didn't work properly at first and bloody hurt but they increased it and it finally knocked me out
fingers crossed a few are fertilizing as I type

welcome seaview and hi everyone else

That's amazing! Good going those ovaries (round of applause).

That's excellent news Caiphirinas I'll join in the round of applause !!

But about the sedation .... ! When I had my first one the aneatheatist told me that I was just about to have the same stuff that killed Michael Jackson

xx

7 have fertilised! they'll call first thing Thursday with the next update which could be to go in then or if they have 3 or more it will be Saturday
x

Woo hoo! Go caprihnas!! Great count & fertlisation rate - I'm willing those little embryos to do their magic for you & to keep you waiting till Saturday as there will be so many good ones!
notnow love your Jedi mind tricks ;) if u work out how to keep it going beyond a couple of days pls let me know!
brightside Michael Jackson killer drugs?! Nice bedtime manner Mr Anaestheticist! That's hilarious!
Xxx