mmc question.....

[kirrinIsland]

I had a scan on Tuesday only to find no heartbeat. Should have been 11 weeks, seems the baby died at 8 weeks.
Not a huge shock - the pregnancy had never felt right, right from the start IYKWIM.

I had a erpc rather than wait for nature to take it's course. I've previously had a D&C and was advised to wait before ttc'ing again after that due to an increased risk of miscarriage. Does the same advice apply after a erpc or can we start trying again straight away?

TIA

Oh no. Poor you. My first pg ended like this. I don't think we waited (may have given it a month so I'd had a normal period). 4 months later pg with DS. Now have DD too. What do docs advise? Look after yourself and take time if you feel you need it.

Docs didn't say anything about ttc and I didn't think to ask .......

So sorry, same thing happened to me last year. I had differing advice, though all said wait for any bleeding to stop, doc said we could try straight away and a nurse later said wait for your first period so if you get pregnant straight away they can get the dates for that next pregnancy more accurately.

We started trying straight away, I heard you're more fertile straight after a miscarriage. Good luck and take care of yourself.

Thank you both :)

We'd like to try again straight away but I'm worried about the same thing happening again :(

So sorry to hear your news. I've been there too - had 2 ERPCs then a healthy pregnancy.

An ERPC is much the same as a D&C, and I did wait until my cycle returned to normal after each. At first I wanted to get pg straight away but actually needed the emotional recovery time too. It took about 3 months to get back to regular cycles so I think I'd have driven myself mad with waiting for my period etc etc if I'd started TTC straight away.

kirrin I have had 2 erpc and was told I could ttc straight after if I wanted. I got pg straight after the first but had another mmc so decided to wait a while after the next. I think we waited about 7 months in the end, but that was because we had some tests done and wanted the results first.

That time I got pg and stayed pg (dd2 is one today). Personally I don't think it was much to do with the wait but I do think it helped me feel a bit stronger mentally iyswim

Good luck for the next time.

Thanks everyone :)

So sorry to hear your news. Similar happened to me in sept. I had a scan at 9weks as had some spotting and no heartbeat. I also had an ERPC. I was extremely upset so. Really feel for you. I was desperate to start trying again and had heard of women who had gotten pg straight after an ERPC without even having a period.I asked both the consultant at the hospital and my gp about how soon I could try again. Both said that the recommendation is to wait at least until your next period or even for three months. This was to allow you to recuperation emotionally as we'll as to be able to date your cycle days but not that there would be any risk to a future pregnancy.

If you are keen to start again it might be worth getting some ovulation sticks so you can be sure of when you are ovulating. Good luck and I really hope you get some good news soon. In the meantime have some wine and smelly cheese and look after yourself.

Thanks monkey Ovulation sticks are winging their way from Amazon as we speak

I have heard about waiting one cycle to make it easier to date a future pregnancy, but frankly I'm not worried about that - a scan can do the same job!

Same boat here as you OP. I had my ERPC yesterday, I would have been 14+ 4, but I suspected things had gone wrong from about 8/9 weeks. So have actually had about 6 weeks to get used to the idea. It also helps psychologically that it was a blighted ovum with no foetal pole, rather than a dead embryo. Doctor said no sex for 2 weeks then wait till first period before TTC. My plan is to start charting tomorrow, wait the two weeks as doctor says and then take a pregnancy test to make sure its all negative. If I were to conceive before I got my first period I would want to know it was a new pregnancy not left over hormones from the mmc. I will take pg tests once a week till they come back negative, and use contraception till then. Once pg test is negative I will start with the OPKs. I think we will probably not use any contraception, but not start trying in earnest till I get AF. Once AF arrives I will turn on the CBFM and really start TTC.

I think one big danger of getting pregnant very soon after is that I would be worried all the time about it happening again. But then I might feel like that after a year, and it took 7 months to get pregnant this time, so I cannot see the point in waiting. If I do OPKs dating the pregnancy should not be too difficult, plus there is the dating scan, and I would probably ask for an 8 week scan after all this anyway.

Thank bonzo sorry for your loss - it's awful isn't it?

To be honest, I think worrying during your next pregnancy is going to be par for the course :( I also lost my first, and then spent the whole of my pregnancy with DD worrying about anything and everything - thankfully she's arrived safe and well. I was worried this time, but like I said in my op, I felt right from the start that this one wasn't right.....

I think asking for an early scan next time is a good idea too (although I had a scan at 7 weeks), just for the reassurance. I am lucky that my hospital seems generally happy to do this - some won't :(

Good idea about the pregnancy tests - it would be awful to think you were pregnant again, only to find it's left over hormones. I'll get a couple of those tomorrow.

Good luck with trying again - and look after yourself while you recover xx

TBH it was awful, not least of all the hormonal roller coaster, and the bit where it hurt and I there were massive clots. But I knew things had gone wrong and was prepared. Somehow being told that there had probably never been an actual embryo made it all much easier. I feel like my body got confused and was never really pregnant. I just have that disappointed feeling you get when you get your period when TTC, but also that optimistic feeling about trying again. I know it's different for everyone, and hope that everyone here has found or will find a way to move forward, without necessarily needed to forget or ignore what they have been through.

I just got 3 tests for £1 from poundland. OPKs on their way from amazon. DH is keen to try again and suggests some hand jobs to clear out any dodgy old sperm before we TTC!