How do you know when you are ready to ttc DC2?!

[Eclairwaldorf]

I have a beautiful 18 month old dc. Am in my early thirties with one ovary and endo. The plan was to start ttc after Christmas ..... Last week dh and I get, ahem, I intimate without any protection and I mentally start to freak out!! Thoughts of a baby bombard my thoughts, and I had to change the direction if that nights actions, iykwim....

I thought I was ready, actually I think I am ready to ttc dc2 but I got so scared that I might get pregnant, wtf?? Does this mean I'm not ready deep down? Had a normal pregnancy and labour so no issues there. Dc is a good child, no major issues, starting to have tantrums but hey ho.
How did you know you were ready?

I could have written your post this time last year. DS1 was then 21 months, everyone happy etc. Thought we'd better start trying for DC2 so not too much age gap but wasn't really that enthusiastic!

Anyway got pg in January but had miscarriage at 5/6 weeks. Was absolutely devastated & realised that I definitely always thought I would have two DCs & the thought that it might not happen was awful

Well now I'm sitting up feeding 12 week old DS2 who is so lovely & scrumptious, & completely different to DS1. Really feel like family is complete & DS1 adores being big bro.

Things to consider would be whether you definitely want more than one, what sort of age gap (eg do you want them to play together or would you prefer to wait until DC1 older/at school), is it good time to get pg with work etc (I found being pg with toddler completely exhausting)

Good luck whatever you decide!

HTH

Thanks run for your reply. I think my biggest concern is being pregnant with my hyper adventurous very active toddler. I was very tired throughout my last pregnancy and the thought of dealing with that whilst entertaining dc is very scary!

I would prefer a shorter age gap and as I have had health issues in the past it may take a while to conceive, hence decision to start ttc now rather than later. What I couldn't stop thinking about was my friend who got pregnant at their first attempt ttc, she was so shocked as she had expected it to take a while and so was not prepared at all!

I have returned to work part time following dc1 so that would help with any pregnancy tiredness etc. I abbot wait to add to my family but it's such a big thing and I had a major wobble but writing this post has made me feel more positive rather than apprehensive so that must be a good thing?!

I think it's different with your second. You approach it from the pov of knowing the practicalities, the work, the effort, the pros and cons of certain timings etc as opposed to the first time round when you know nothing and just think 'oh let's have a baby'.

I did the same as you, agreed to ttc, threw out the condoms and when it came down to it, panicked and told dh he needed to go to the 24hr superstore for more condoms. I clearly wasn't ready.

So then we waited and two things made the difference. One, dd got older. She became a complete pleasure and I knew that having a 2nd would benefit her and me and I'd cope. Two, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. It sort of put things in perspective for me. I wanted the baby to know its grandmother and at that time didn't know what the outcome would be. The day my Mum was wheeled into surgery, I started vomiting. I was 4 weeks pregnant.

I have a 4yo and a 17wo and I just knew the time was right. Head and heart.

Thanks show your post make good sense!