Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

It's not happening right away...I know it's stupid

10 replies

bettybat · 03/01/2012 23:45

I guess I just feel really panicked and worried and upset, and just desperate to be pregnant.

I'm 31, I had an abortion at 26 when DH had only been together a few months, we've only been trying for 3 months, for heaven's sake, but although I think we DTD around roughly the right time, I just can't imagine it happening. But at the same time, imagining all these feelings in my lower half and driving myself crazy not wanting to move around too much!

My cycles aren't irregular but a little inconsistent, making figuring out the right time a little hard. A colleague will have one week left before maternity leave when I go back after Christmas - and try as I might feel good for her, want to do something nice with her, I just feel insane with jealousy. Even though I know it took her about a year to conceive!

I know a lot of people go through this, I know it's all a bit of mean joke that you're terrified of an accident when you're a teenager but when you want a baby, you find out there's like - a 48 hour window of opportunity! I know a lot of people on this board feel like this too...just right now, I feel desperately afraid it's never going to happen.

OP posts:
flamegirl77 · 03/01/2012 23:50

I know three months feels like a long time but it really isn't. I would keep busy and keep DTD. 31 is not very old! Also the Internet may not be your friend just now. Good luck!

Original poster
bettybat · 03/01/2012 23:55

Thanks for your kind words, flamegirl.

I guess it just feels like such a cruel joke...I got pregnant accidentally and we decided to abort it. Now, years later, that accident feels like such a billion to one chance and I can't wrap my head it. Maybe I had high expectations of getting pregnant right away because the first time was such an unplanned accident.

(Sorry to anyone, if the talk of abortion is sensitive.)

OP posts:
LaLauraDePalmer · 04/01/2012 08:29

You should order some cheapie ovulation predictor tests from Amazon - it will guide you to DTD at the right time and maybe help you feel a bit more in control of this baby-making business.

LauraM20 · 04/01/2012 09:37

I too thought it would happen within the first few months and 9 months on I'm still trying, I would reccomend dtd every other day around the time of ovulation and keep track of hen you ovulate with the predictor sticks. I actually ovulate 3 days later than I thought I would. Don't worry too much, it will happen soon, just try and keep relaxed about it otherwise you will send yourself crazy ( trust me i know!!) good luck xxx

piggyboo · 04/01/2012 10:37

Same here, i presumed i ov'd day 14 of 28 day cycle but actually found out this month its day 17 or 18 using temps and ovulation tests.

LauraM20 · 04/01/2012 11:41

Piggyboo, that's exactly the same as me! I was so glad I got the ovulation predictor kits! X

Littlecherublegs · 04/01/2012 12:04

Dont worry, I feel exactly the same!! I just thought we would get pregnant straight away but we've been trying for 7 months now and still nothing. I know its not a great amount of time in the grand scheme of things but I just want it sooooooooooooo much!!
Im 31 too and its not the age thing thats bothering me (know we have at least another 10 years of ttc naturally in that!) its just Im impatient and was naive to think it would happen in the first month!!

Will keep trying though - nothing else we can do!! Good luck!!

CaveMum · 04/01/2012 12:16

This is part of the problem about being British! We're all to reserved to talk about this kind of thing so we all assume that there is something wrong with us because everyone else gets pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Fact is, it rarely happens like that. Personally we've been ttc for just under 2 years, though my ovulation has been so erratic rare that we've probably only had 6 or 7 cycles of trying. Clomid is finally getting me back to normal.

Please don't feel bad, the stats show that even a perfectly healthy couple will take up to a year to conceive - remember, even if you dtd at the precise moment of ovulation there is still only a 40% chance that you will conceive and that it will stick.

Just do your best to be as healthy as possible and have as much sex as you can Wink

And try to stay away from the "oops how did I get pregnant threads" - they're bloody annoying Grin

farfallarocks · 04/01/2012 12:22

cave I totally agree with the Britishness thing also there seems to be some weird competitiveness about getting pregnant 'first time we tried'

I have one friend who peddles this myth even though I know it took her 9 months, it drives me nuts. I have read that at aged 30-35 there is a 20% chance each cycle so don't worry just yet!

I 2nd the OPK suggestion, good luck. I am not going to tell you to relax because I know how annoying that is but please rest assured that not everyone gets pregnant first try unlike what you might hear!

whereismywine · 04/01/2012 13:15

Im over a year into this ttc madness and wish I could go back and tell my distraught 3 month trying self that this might be a long game. To be honest, I felt shit about ttc after my first period so I don't think it is unusual to feel the way you do. You have to keep in mind that conception is a tricky old business and that when people conceive straight away, they've had some luck on their side. But MN is a really helpful place to find people in the same boat and remember, the odds are in your favour! Keep shagging, try to find things to distract you from Dr Google and visit here when you need. I wish you all the luck x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page