TTC with one tube after ectopic

[chalky3]

Hi everyone.

I recently suffered an ectopic pregnancy which unfortunately ruptured one of my tubes resulting it having to be removed with emergency surgery.

When the surgeons visited me after the op, they said there was a possibility that my remaining tube may be damaged and that we should seek help if we hadn't conceived naturally in 3-6 months. I'm awaiting an appointment with a gynaecologist following a referral by my GP to discuss this (no follow up appointment was offered by the hospital) but I'm aware it may be a while until I see someone.

We are understandably very shocked and upset at what's happened but are keen to start TTC again soon (we must be gluttons for punishment!).

To give you a bit of our history, we're in our 30s, we have no dcs, we suffered a MMC last year and we've been TTC for over two years.

Do any of you have any advice or experience of TTC with one tube that they would be willing to share with us?

How long do you think we should we wait to start TTC again?

Do you think we should we wait until I've seen a consultant to start TTC again in case there is a problem? The GP didn't seem overly concerned about us TTC when we feel we want to or the possible risk of another ectopic if my remaining tube is damaged, she was pretty supportive.

On a more emotional level, how do you deal with the sadness and frustration that comes with this experience, without imposing too much on others? Most of the time I'm alright, occasionally I get quite down about it and feel like there's no hope of us ever having a child. DH and I continue to speak about it frequently, sometimes at length, mostly briefly. I've talked to friends and family too. Everyone's been fantastically supportive but I don't want to continue burdening them down with our woes, particularly as this is likely to be a long and emotional journey. Most of our friends have young children or are expecting so it doesn't seem fair to talk to them about our issues.

I wouldn't wish our experience on anyone but TTC can be a long and lonely journey, even though we have each other. Any help would be appreciated!

Hi Chalky - I've nothing really constructive to say, but I didn't want your post to go unanswered. It sounds like you've been through a really difficult time, I'm glad you're being referred and I hope they give you all the right answers :)

I'm really saddened to hear your story. You've been through an awful lot.

It's not the same, but I only have one tube. DH and I had been TTC for over a year when we went to see GP. She referred us to infertility where we saw Consultant. He was concerned that I'd had peritonitis as a child due to a perforated appendix, and even though I'd had a clear HSG, thought it might be sensible to do a laparoscopy to see if there were any adhesions causing problems. Although my right tube was healthy, my right ovary was in the wrong place, adhered to the bottom of my pelvis. He divided the adhesions but said that this kind of surgery isn't brilliantly successful. However, I was devestated to discover that during the laparoscopy they discovered what looked like a large ovarian cyst on my left side. It turned out to be a paratubal cyst of the fallopian tube and was probably congenital. It had caused significant anatomical distortion and although my tube was still patent (which is why the HSG looked normal) it was badly stretched and not actually functional. Unfortunately the surgeon couldn't remove the cyst without taking my fallopian tube too. He also added that taking the tube was more sensible because had I become pregnant from that side, it would be likely to be ectopic.

After surgery, I was devastated. We were given the option of trying for a little longer because the adhesions on my ovary had been freed up on my right side, where the tube is healthy. However, we decided to go straight to IVF. The wait was about 3 months, and in that time we didn't manage to conceive naturally.

We've just completed a cycle of IVF and I'm on the 2ww to see if it's successful.

Would IVF be an option for you?

I was devastated when I was first told the prognosis "not impossible, but unlikely to occur naturally". I bottled it up a lot until the point when I was at work in a senior management team meeting and a colleague was being difficult with me. I could not deal with the "criticism" at all and felt useless at everything. Stormed out of the meeting and cried for about an hour. My boss was really good with me and I ended up being really candid. However, my "breakdown" at work taught me that it's really important to talk about it if you need to. I guess the challenge is selecting the right friends to talk to.

So my advice is talk about it, don't bottle it up. People are a lot more understanding than you'd think, and most are very supportive and I don't think they will see it as burdening them with your woes.

It's really, really hard, and the emotional pain of infertility can be unbearable at times. It can be isolating, but one thing I've found is that friends don't like to pry. Most of mine are happy to talk to me about it, but want "permission" first.

Good luck with your journey.

Thank you both for your responses, I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

I'm sorry to hear your story too KnackeredCow, TTC is challenging enough without going through what you have once you've been referred for help. I really hope your IVF has been successful, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!

I hear what you're saying about talking about things. After the miscarriage last year, we hardly told anyone which caused some problems between us when one of us wanted to talk and the other didn't. This time round, we are really aware of this so we've told our friends, family and colleagues (it's obvious something major is wrong as I'll be off work for weeks) and have kept talking to each other. I do worry that people won't want to still be hearing about our problems in several months time, but I guess this is when you find out who your really good friends are.

I think IVF could well be an option for us, given the problems I might have, the time we've been trying and our ages. We'll find out more once I've seen a consultant. I've a feeling that it takes up to two years to recieve treatment on the NHS in this area and that you are only given one funded cycle. This is why I was wondering about paying for it.

We still have hope that we will have a child one day but at this moment it feels like we've taken two steps forward and four backwards on the path to conception, we're worse off now than we were two years ago! it's soul destroying and so frustrating!

Please let me know if you're successful, I really hope you have a VERY happy Christmas! x