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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

An OCD parent and children, a good mix?

11 replies

Evilwater · 30/11/2011 20:18

My DP has OCD, not the one where he tidies. The one where terrible things will happen unless the light is switched on and off.

This is the last major thing stopping us from TTC, any tips or adivce?

OP posts:

wifey6 · 01/12/2011 11:16

Has your DP thought about CBT? It can make a big difference. Has he sought help from a doctor for this? I have OCD..the tidying/organisational sort...however have been getting the 'bad things will happen if I don't....etc' & this is frustrating enough. I have not noticed it causes any problems with my as a parent or during my pregnancy. I would definitely gain help & support if it is now stopping you from ttc.

Aworryingtrend · 01/12/2011 11:51

My husband has an anxiety disorder and seing a psychotherapist really helped him, it gave him lots of calming and coping techniques and there has beena huge difference. it was on the NHS, it took a long time to get an appointment (4 months ish?) but was worth it. He had 12 sessions and even that was enough to make a difference.

I would recommend he sees his GP, and that perhaps you go with him too.

Original poster

Evilwater · 01/12/2011 20:08

Wifey -I told him about the CBT and he would stop taking the pills. This was met with a resounding no. I think the pills give him the security that he is 'normal'.

As for the child, he fears that he will pass on the OCD as his grandfather has it. He does not want to give me a child that was like him, and is very afriad of disability.

Aworryingtreand - the thing is he doesn't believe that CBT will work. What's a woman to do?
Lw

OP posts:

wifey6 · 01/12/2011 21:19

Unfortunately...you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. You can only suggest..support & be as understanding as you possibly can. I do not worry that my OCD will be passed to my DS because I am seeking help to control it.

newportstateofmind · 04/12/2011 21:50

Hi OP, I know where you are coming from as DH also has OCD, and for several years we went through a really bad period where the idea of TTC was just out of the question.

Eventually things got so bad that he realised he had to do something about it (until then he had been adamant that he could manage it himself). He tried hypnotherapy first, then finally went to the GP. He started taking ADs and had a course of CBT. It took a while but things did improve and now we have a lovely DS!

He also worries that he will pass on his OCD (and I think there is some possible genetic link). The only thing I can say to reassure him is that if DS does turn out to have it, he will have a dad that understands exactly what he is going through and can hopefully help him with it. I also know that DH will never be free of his OCD, but I felt that we couldn't let it rule our lives and stop us living our lives.

I know how frustrating it is when you desperately want DH to get some help and you can't get him to do it. Hope things improve soon for you both.

BTW, have you come across OCD Action? There's loads of advice and support on it.

Good luck x

Original poster

Evilwater · 04/12/2011 22:25

Hello state,
It's nice to hear that someone is in the same shoes as me.
Unfortunately for us my DP thinks pills are the best. It seems that he needs the pills, I have told him about CBT and has shunned it.
His mum is a psychologist and diagnosed him. I think that says it all really.

Thanks for recommending OCD Action as I didn't know about it.
As wifey said "i cant help someone who does not want help". When my DP is ready, i know I will be there to help him.
Lw

OP posts:

newportstateofmind · 04/12/2011 23:56

Do the pills help him? If they do, there's no reason he would have to stop taking them if he had CBT as well. Are his family supportive?

There is some useful information about treatment here.

Original poster

Evilwater · 05/12/2011 21:59

New he is taking the pills but has not had the CBT. I'm not really sure about supportive, they just ignore it.

OP posts:

newportstateofmind · 07/12/2011 23:03

How are things, Evilwater?

Original poster

Evilwater · 07/12/2011 23:24

Well just had my sister in floods of tears, her landlady is awful. Asked my DP if she could stay here, and the answer I got is it's my room.
Sigh,

Its really upset me that my sister was so upset.

OP posts:

newportstateofmind · 11/12/2011 21:17

As in its his room, or it's your room? I know how hard it is trying to do the right thing by everyone and feeling like you're always upsetting someone. Sorry, btw - haven't been around for a few days!

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