HELP! Smiley face triggered crisis with husband..... :-(

[starchildmum]

Hi

I just got married last year and we have officially stopped conception 5 month ago. My husband wishes to have children but ?naturally and ?it?s fine for him if it takes time?? He is quiete often on business trips and during our honneymoon i was in my infertile phase...

He is quite anti- ovulation sticks and did not like me talking about it?.although I have starting using them to see if they work and to get a better understanding of how my cycle works etc. ( I have a very irregular cycle and was a bit worried at one point if something is wrong)
We have had ?normal? sex this weekend without >>trying for it

Hi starchildmum,

Such changes should be reported to the GP, you need to know why your cycle is irregular. I would have blood tests done to see what your hormone levels are like; your cycles would certainly be seen as irregular and I'd lay off the OPKs as of now; they are unsuitable for women with irregular cycles.

Irregular cycles often have hormonal imbalances as their cause (a condition called polycystic ovaries can cause irregular cycles, another possible one is thyroid imbalances) so it is certainly in your interest to have blood tests done.
It is also possible to have periods without ovulating.

Hi starchildmum,

re your comment:-
"doctor says all is fine... as i said he is often on business trips and we both work long hours"

On what basis does doc say all is fine; have you had blood tests done?. Your H on business trips and you both working long hours would not cause your cycle to be irregular.

Its all too easy to be fobbed off and you will need to be persistant in order to get answers.

And no timing of intercourse!!!. You do not need or want to put such undue pressure on yourselves because it really does you both no good at all.

Mhhhh. I had a blood test and hormone level is good.... But maybe i should have my thyroid checked? My doctor also said i should do that.... where would i do that in London?

Because yes, the irregular cycle just added to the stress and made be become more pathetic.

Sorry Attila

To answer your questions, no that is not the reason for the irregularity but his absence and the very irregular cycle was the reason why i started the tests in the first place as i did not want to 'waste' valubale time.

Hi starchildmum,

Determining exactly why your cycles are irregular would be a far better use of your time. It is too easy to be fobbed off.

What hormone levels were tested and on which days?. That is very important. Some GPs can actually mess around in ignorance and miss a problem. I ask this too because I've had very irregular cycles and the underlying cause is often hormonal. GP had no idea why but hospital certainly did.

Blood tests for possible thyroid issues can be done through the GP.

P.S No need whatsoever to say sorry!.

My DH always just assumed that I would get PG the second we stopped using protection so he was/is also kind of against all this planning and charting but slowly as he's starting to realise that it's not quite as easy to get PG as he thought he has become more cooperative. I understand where he's coming from with it taking some of the fun out of it and he's not really in a rush either way but the last thing he would want is for it not to work out at all so he seems willing to take some steps toward that not happening.

I imagine as the months go by and still nothing has happened he'll see that some compromising has to be done.

Hi

Just to keep you updated...

(((((Decided to throw the sticks into the bin as soon as i get home!!!
I failed. Secretly did another one. Another smiley face)))))

He came home.

We talked ( I did not say anything about the :-)

I was in a much better bood (after a day of chatting with musnet at work) and he was very happy that i was fine. He said sorry (he didn't intend to hurt me) I said sorry and explained that i understand his point of view...

Enjoyed the evening in harmony.

Nothing happened yesterday evening. We cuddled.

I have learnt a lesson: It's better to keep things romantic and natural even if it does not work straight away. The monitoring and checking results in extra pressure (whether he knows it or not) and makes the whole process even more likely to fail (He said: " If i had not told him about the :-) smiley and would have just come back to bed we surely would have created our baby..... ( 'crrrrr')

My new resolution: Keep fit, beauty treatments and underwear.

((((I must admit knowing about the 2. smiley face created some hot flushes whiles we cuddled and I had to force myself to 'respect his space' of not taking things further..... mhhh now I hope that his Friday evening swimmers might have survived until yesterday...... 4 days surviving.... if it happens might me a girl then ;-)

I will keep you updated.

I had a girl......... :-)

omg!

how many days preo was she conceived?????

I made it it was a while ago now but i remember it being on or around the longest the books claimed it to be possible. So 5 days i think. I too have very irregular periods - much more irregular than yours. She is our miracle baby .

Don't obsess about how many days pre ovulation you can concieve. There is always next month.
The important thing is that you have had a chat with your husband and smoothed things over.
There may come a time when he has to get on board with the sticks and all that, if you end up having problems it does take two and he will have to get used to the idea.

For now, just make sure you have sex often enough that you will not be worrying about missing the egg.

Medical literature gives examples of 5 days, but this is uncommon.
But don't obsess.

Mhhhh medical literature is good... some real life examples would be better...

Anyone here who had a smiley and intercourse 4/5 days before and ended luckey???

Sorry. Quite obsessed and can't help it :-)

Just have sex about 3/4 times a week we have always done that even when not ttc and I have been pregnant 4 times all within the first month of trying (2 were miscarriages) Dont worry about planing it just shag all the time!

Just read that he is often on business trips obviously that cant be helped but even if you are working long hours just find ways to shag around it.

It was not my intent to give you something else to obsess over. Yes it is possible for sperm to hang around for 4/5 days, my example proves that, but it is not probable. There are plenty of perfectly fertile couples who do everything at the right time and still dont fall pregnant in any given month.

My dd is our miracle baby. There was way more to it than timing meaning that she was against all odds.

I meant to say sometimes you cant predict life, no matter how many sticks you p on.

Yes wot eurochick said. I don't tell DH when I'm fertile. Caused performance anxiety. He has some idea but not really saying takes the pressure off.
One thing that works and treat with us is giving each other massages. It's relaxing but it's also sensual. We do it in bed...it often leads to sex but is less pressured than jumping straight into bed for sex.