How do you get over it?

[witherhills]

Not being able to have another baby?
How am I going to deal with it?
I go from being very pragmatic to falling apart.
I went to Toysrus today and had to walk through the babyrus bit, and I had to leave, I'm so fucking sad

You're not fucking sad at all. Please don't say that :( I'm so sorry you feel like this.

What's your story?

I mean I'm so sad about it!
I'm too old Aries.

God, sorry! . OK, you are sad :)

How many babies have you had, if any? And how old are you?

Your profile says you are 42, so you may not be 'too old' unless you've started your menopause. Have you tried talking to your doctor (if your partner also wants another child)?

I can't really help with how to get over it - I'm still trying to conceive my first. You could consider something like fostering or adopting if having your own isn't an option. That's what I will do if I can't have one of my own. It's not the same, but you can still get the joy of bringing up a child, but with the added knowledge that you have helped out a child in need.

Alternatively I guess find some way to keep busy, or think about working with children (if you think you could manage that), nursery schools, play groups, support teaching in a school, or helping out at a hospital, library, or community centre. Help make other children happy, and be someone who maybe makes a difference in their lives.

Do you already have a child / children?
I'm in a similar position. I'm not too old, just can't get pregnant for other reasons :(

It's hard.

I do the pragmatic thing too.

I tell myself that we've done everything we can to have another child (and we have!) and we tried our best and that's all we can do.

And I try to look at the positives of having an only child (there are loads of positives).

And I thank my lucky stars I had DD - it would appear she's a bit of a miracle although we didn't know that at the time we conceived her.

I still feel sad though. And I still have wobbles like you did today. I don't think that will ever go away completely, and I don't think it should go away, because it IS sad. It's ok to feel sad though isn't it, it's allowed? Don't feel bad or silly for feeling that way.

It's ok Aries, you made me laugh!
Nearly 42, have one DS, 4.
Been ttc for 3 years, 2 miscarriages
Finally got results from clinic, and they are not good.
AMH of 0.48pmol, which is pretty bad indicator of ovarian reserve

I guess there is tiny chance if I have eggs left, but I can't actually deal with the hope. Every single month watching and waiting for all the signs.

I need to start to understand that this really isn't going to happen.

There are lots of positives Mojo, I am so thankful for my DS.

It's hard with practical things.
I have been holding on to some baby/maternity stuff thinking "just in case"
pram/car seat etc. Need to buy him a bed, but wanted to hang on to his beautiful cot "just in case"

I never thought I would be like this.

cotbed, he's not still in a cot at 4!

Had a good cry with DH last night
Have to phone the clinic to arrange hycosy, not sure if I should get the second opinion first?

Or just forget the whole thing and admit that it's over

I haven't really got any helpful advice, but I feel for you. I'm trying for my 2nd as well and have had some problems this year, including a mc, and that got me thinking I may not have another. I know what you mean about getting your hopes up each month. I decided that if I couldn't have another I'd rather know, because then I could deal with that rather than keep trying and hoping. I think if I were you I would have the tests to see where I stood, then you can make an informed decision whether to keep trying or look into alternatives like adoption or maybe egg donation.