DH not falling in with the TTC schedule!

[MillontheFloss]

2nd month of TTC post MC (well last month was kind of half hearted, no sense of timing etc) and DH is already struggling with the concept of OV and TTC at right time of the month.

How do others cope with it? This is my fertile week and he has organised boozy post work nights out every evening but one.

We spoke about OV and timings etc last night and he said he is finding it difficult and 'too clinical' to DTD with a sole purpose, but we have a healthy sex life so I don't see why these few days should be any different.

Fell pg straight away with pg that ended in MC so there was no mega planning behind it and he wants a baby as much as me. Have missed this month's window now and just a bit arrrgh!!!

Don't tell him. Just jump his bones when the time is right.

I remember berating my husband for playing 36 holes in a day & being "too tired" when it was my fertile time. Shouldn't have worried of course, we'd already conceived DS 2 days earlier!

I am going to be blunt and say you really need to relax about this.

If you have a healthy sex life i.e. two/three times a week then you have a window of opportunity in which to fall pregnant.

Your dh is right - planning according to a schedule is too clinical. As long as you're having sex at more or less the right time of the month (and bearing in mind that sperm can survive for up to five days) then it will happen.

Do bear in mind that it can take up to a year to fall pg naturally so if you are going to be this demanding about it it will cause an awful lot of tention between you if it takes as long as a year to fall pregnant.

Just relax. Sex is supposed to be fun, not a chore to carry out on a timed schedule...

That's heartening! My cycle is usually 28 days and began this month on the first so according to an online calculator the window was sat to this thurs. But I guess I could have conceived sat to mon. Just that we didn't DTD yesterday on day 14 I'm feeling annoyed!

Good plan re. the subterfuge! My December plan for sure- covert bones jumping! Now how to make him cut down on the booze to give the little swimmers a better chance....?!

wannaBe you're right and I think I was more relaxed pre-MC. I think I just want to be pg before my due date, and ideally past the 12 week point but I guess we should try to take it easy and let nature do its thing. I don't want it to become too stressful.

I agree with wannaBe - you really need to relax a bit. Sperm can live for a few days in you anyway. Just try to do the deed every couple of days around your fertile period (i.e. the week or so leading up to ov and to one day after). I never tell my husband exactly when I am oving, but I so tell him at the end of my period that the monthly shagfest starts in a couple of days. So he knows it's a bad time to book things up for the evenings without putting too much pressure on him. You might not ov on day 14 anyway, even with a 28 day cycle. A normal luteal phase is anything from 10 to 16 days.

Setting yourself targets like that is a really bad idea. I'm sorry to hear about your MC and hopefully you will conceive quickly again, but if you don't you are just making it more painful for yourself.

Oh you poor thing, I so understand that feeling post MC of having to get pregnant again very quickly, I had it and I afraid it caused lots of stress and misery. I became so emotional about it (no sexy!!)

If you are having sex 2/3 times a week that should cover it, you will have to let some months go rather than force it as it will cause more problems in the long run. Easier said than I know when all you are thinking is , another month gone etc etc

I also know the panic feeling of wanting to be pregnant again before your due date, this way madness lies, trust me.

Good luck

Thanks all for the advice. I had a feeling I was being a little irrational and hormonal but hopefully next month I will be a laid back vixen completely oblivious to my fertile window. Or something like that.

farfalla I think that's what it is, wanting to move on from the MC, and however full my life is at present I feel that getting pregnant is the only scratch for that particular itch, as it were!

I guess there's no mad rush in the grand scheme of things though but I think I just want my DH to try a bit more. I guess it's also the boozing (not heavy or problematic but just regular with lots of big nights out at the moment) etc while I'm trying to be healthy to optimize our chances. Not in any kind of demented way but reduced caffeine, no booze in the week, folic acid etc.

Anyway, good luck to all TTC.

Millon you don't have to be oblivious about your fertile period,be aware of it but some men just can't "perform" on demand as it puts a huuge pressure on them.TTC is very mind draining sometimes.Have a good shag every 2-3 days and make it very enjoyable for both of you.
I understand your point of view,was exactly in the same frame of mind after my mc.Never told my DP about "fertile window" ,just jumped on him when I felt like it (every 2-3 days-not more often to give him a chance to produce some swimmers)
Good luck,wishing you a quick BFP and healthy and sticky pg:)