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Totally gutted & hurt

10 replies

shellmc · 13/11/2011 13:56

Little background, i have been on here for a while,
I have a DS age 2, after i had him i started having various problems, and symptoms, after visiting my GP i was asked to stop the pill in April this year to have blood tests done, as the pill takes at least 6 weeks to fully come out of your system. During past months since then i had abnormal LH FSH levels from bloods taken at GP, and along with the results i was having very irregular periods, ranging from 43 days to 66 days!! Hair growth on my face tummy and toes, and bad skin.
Got referred to endocrinologist end of sept. More bloods done and examined-she told me she was suspecting PCOS, well the results came back confirming it. High LH FSH levels High Androstendione levels and borderline Testosterone.
Been started on Metformin just last week, and also had to increase my Thyroxine as i have underactive thyroid.
While at doctors she mentioned contraception to me as metformin will regulate my perioods and high chance of pregnancy, but untill i get my levels right she advises me to wait before ttc again.
Altho i dont want to ttc just yet i would like to have another DC in the future, but was a bit worried than by taking cerazette again with metformin will cause more trouble as met will regulate me but cerazette will prob stop my periods.

Anyhow to cut a long story short, was at Gp again on friday with throat infection and got more tablets, he mentioned maybe trying another form of contraception for now, but i cant take certain ones because of migraines so hes gonna ring me back next week.............when i got home and was discussing it with DH, i was shocked that he turned to me and said 'well il just go for the snip' Shock i was like 'erm why though, i can get sorted with a diferrent type of contracpetion im sure'.......but the conversation went on and on then he told me he doesnt want any more kids. We havent really talked about having anymore, but it seems like my chance of having anymore has gone.
He did explain to me that he was wanting to make it easier on me having to take so much tablets, and would rather i got sorted and felt better which i appriciate but im hurt also that he dont want anymore kids. He has a DS my stepson to a prev relationship he is 10. He often says we have 2 thats enough and that we couldnt afford another which we couldnt really, but everyone else seems to manage. Dont get me wrong im not desperate to have another, but the chance in the future would be nice im only 26, DH is 35.
I dont know whether to agree to this or not ??? It seems so final to me, although when i said that to DH he said no it can be reversed, and that hes thinking of my health which like i say i appriciate he is worried, but if hes told me he dont want anymore kids then theres no chance of him ever getting it reversed.
Please help :(

OP posts:
TooImmature2BDumbledore · 13/11/2011 17:06

Oh sweetie. Sad Such a lot of shocks in one day. I don't really have any specific advice, but didn't want to leave you hanging. Where did you leave it with DH? Does he know how sad you are?

TooImmature2BDumbledore · 13/11/2011 17:08

Oops, didn't mean to post so soon! I was going to say that I think the only thing to do is to keep talking to him about how you both feel, rather than hiding your pain and being miserable.

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 14/11/2011 06:53

Oh you poor thing! After all you've gone through to understand what's going on with your body!
I would discourage him from getting the snip with it being difficult to reverse. Yes they can be reversed but it's not always successful and seems a bit drastic. I agree with too, you need to talk to him. Explain that you'd like to consider another baby in the future and that if he's had the snip that's unlikely. Give yourself a bit of time so you can talk about it rationally.
He can't be totally against it if you've been using the 'pulling out' method though? It's worth considering your contraception options at this point. Did you get that book I recommended in the end?
I.really hope you can sit down and talk things through with him.
here's some info on vasectomies. It's worth.noting you usually have to pay to reverse it. I've read some stats that say 76% success rate if reversal.after 3 years, down to 30% in 15 years. If you're in doubt, it would be wiser to use a reversible method until you agree as a couple. Hth.

LadyMaybe · 14/11/2011 10:51

Oh heavens shell it's all coming at once for you isn't it! I would tell DH that you need to discuss all options for contraception first - something that is non-hormonal like an iud might turn out to be best option and most convenient and also not permanent. I'd also give your dh some space but ensure he knows that you are not decided about more children or not and that as far as you are concerned it's a conversation you will want to return to. He may have just assumed you didn't want more but with time to consider the possibility of another may become more open to it.

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 15/11/2011 16:29

How are things shell?

shellmc · 16/11/2011 10:57

Not gud :(
What is iud-the coil??
We havent spoke much more about it because i wasnt happy when he first mentioned it he has been very quiet and hardly spoke.
I askd last night what was up but he said nothing, but i pick up on the little things like, he rings me at work and he didnt yesterday, he normally comes home and gives me a hug while im making tea and he didnt, just didnt have that general crack about work he normally has????
This morning DS was sick on sofa, i went and got a cloth and towel and cleaned it up, when i came back through DH was there with a wet wipe wiping away and shaking his head. When i asked what was wrong he said i hadnt cleaned it properly, think he was just picking TBH.
With everything eating away at me i said ' ohh well didnt think i would have done it properly' and snapped at him, he ended up going to work half hour early this morning and said ohh i may aswell move out as he left!! Hes been txting me saying there wasnt any need for me to snap ect ect.
I apologised and said we needed to talk, hes last txt was-its too late for that. :(

OP posts:
HaveALittleFaithBaby · 16/11/2011 20:18

Oh shell :( sounds like things are rather tense. You do need to talk things through though, don't you?

bugsylugs · 16/11/2011 21:52

so sorry for what you are going through. Hope you can sort things out. iud is copper coil, IUS is mirena a progesterone coil excellent. I can give you lots of info against vasectomies if you want but now is probably not the time.

shellmc · 16/11/2011 22:07

Thanks for listening. We are talking again but still no mention ov the snip crack .....yet.
Yeh if you dont mind sending me the info bugsylugs i would really appriciate it at least we know what were gonna be dealing with if he does decide.

OP posts:
HaveALittleFaithBaby · 17/11/2011 06:57

Well I'm.glad you're talking again and at least he's not raising the issue atm. Good idea to arm yourself with info for when the topic does come up. Hope you can resolve it.

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