Why is this so hard?

[Mrscollier]

I'm not much of a poster (more of a lurker), but tonight I just need some reassurance. I've been ttc since December last year. I fell pregnant after 2 cycles however this ended in a MMC in early April. Cycles returned to normal fairly quickly after (although now 2 days longer). There has not been a sniff of a bfp :(. I'm due af Wednesday, but I know I'm not pregnant this month. I'm finding it particularly hard as I should be a new mum right now instead of typing this. I find the last few days of the 2ww torture and I'm often in tears. I'm so worried that it's going to take me a very very long time to conceive again. Sorry for ranting, I just needed to post this :(

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. It's shit isn't it? I've had two in the last year, and it is so hard, especially when you reach your due date and find you are not pregnant.

Hang in there. You will get pregnant again. The waiting is tortuous, but if you got pregnant in just 2 cycles, it is very likely that you will get pregnant again.

I know thw tww is horrible, such an emotional rollercoaster. I decided a while back that I would try to have a project to do during every tww. This time I'm concentrating on my garden. It helps a little bit, but I know how hard it is to not think about it all the time.

Good Luck. My bet is you'll be upduffed before too long.

Thanks for replying hopefulgum. It is shit!! I'm so sorry for your losses. I just never thought any of this would be so hard. The loss has completely changed me as a person and I'm finding it hard to get back to my old self. I never want to go out anymore and constantly cancel things. I have a hectic full time job and when the weekend comes I just want to stay in and feel sorry for myself :(. I feel sorry for my dp. Good luck with ttc and I hope it doesn't take you much longer either :)

Hi MrsC, just to say I've felt that way so many times and have missed out on so many things because I just couldnt face going out or had the energy for putting on the braveface, or just the dread of knowing that going to something like visiting friends with a new baby was going to take me 2 weeks to recover from. I just wanted to say that I don't know whether you would be into this but I've got a lot of peace of mind lately from meditation. There's loads of ones out there but the one i've liked the best so far is by Jon Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness meditation - I got it from amazon. I feel happier plus hopefully its doing something for my stress levels. good luck. x x x

Thank you for this Carebear. I've recently started reflexology which has really helped. I'm not sure what I think about meditation, but I will look it up. I will try anything right now if it will make me feel happier :)

Hi MrsC, sorry to hear about what you've been through.

Just a thought on the TTC thing - maybe your ov date has changed now that your cycles are slightly different? Are you doing any charting or using any ov sticks/monitors? Might be worthwhile as sometimes just being a day out can mean all the difference.

Good luck!

Hi loveisagirl! I've been using clearblue ovulation tests and I am ovulating. We have dtd at the right time, which makes it sooooo frustrating! We just can't seem to catch that egg!

Sorry to hear you you are down.

I have recently started ttc my second , however I have been stupidly broody for about 4 years. Broody to the point where it makes you feel sick, like someone is stabbing your heart and it aches to hear of other people's pregnancies. I cannot imagine what a mc is like to go through.

I hate the 2 ww, and find myself in tears once af turns up. My mood drops and I just can't seem to shift it. I also don't want to burden dh with my feelings as we are more like "not stopping" a baby as opposed to "trying"!! Whereas deep down I am gagging!!!
Mumsnet really helps keep my spirits up - there are some lovely people on here.
Chin up..I am sure that you will get there and that child will be well deserved and well loved.

It's so frustrating isn't it! The only thing I can add is that the ov sticks tell you when you've ovulated, so there is a chance you may have missed the vital window. The Clearblue Fertility Monitor tells you when you are in the run-up to ovulating (it tests for two different hormones) giving you 6 days (roughly) of good fertility.

I have read about a lot of Mumsnetters who use it and have got pregnant on a cycle where they've SWI before ovulation day itself (ie before your stick would show positive). Just a thought...

Thanks Saxony :). I'm the same when AF turns up. I've spent most of today in tears as I've had brown spotting all day so AF is on its way :(.

Loveisagirl - I use the clear blue digital which tell you 2 days before you ovulate. I've been using them for 6 months and I only read the instructions properly for the first time the other day! I thought I ovulated on the day I got a smiley face but it's actually a few days after! Think we have been stopping to early. We are going to get a monitor after Xmas if still no joy. Thanks for the tips :)

Sounds like a good plan. Keep an eye out for second hand ones as they cost quite a lot brand new. I got mine (new) on ebay for £60 which is a lot cheaper than the full retail price (about £100 I think).

Good luck! :)

I think there about £60 on Amazon. I buy everything on there as its so much cheaper!!

I know! I just bought some new CB digital preg sticks as so much cheaper! £6 for two!!!