Perfect CM and useless bloody husband!!

[Thumbwitch]

Need to rant - here seems as good a place as any - went to the loo this evening and had amazingly good CM. Perfect! Egg time. Went in to see DH, who was watching a DVD in bed and made suggestive noises - he got completely arsey and refused, swearing, being completely negative and then got into bed and went to sleep, telling me to wake him up in 3 hours.

Oddly enough, 2.5h later, when he woke up of his own accord to go to the loo, and I went and made more suggestive noises, he pretty much told me to fuck off (not exactly in those words but there was a lot more swearing etc.)

I'm not sure I want to bother now but really, it's such good CM, it seems a shame to waste a possibly decent egg (don't have too many of those floating around these days!) We have been SWI, but may have stopped too soon (yesterday) - I know the sperm hangs around for a while and it all may work anyway but but but... wouldn't it be better to have a go now?

I don't think I want to in the morning, I'm so fecking angry with him right now. And very :( - we should be making the most of every opportunity, and all he can do is get arsey because my biology doesn't run to some bloody formula that takes account of his needs! Argh.

I'm being unreasonable, aren't I....

I should point out that there is no problem in our marriage, and he has been fine with SWI - but he has a tendency to get really shitty if I try and make him do anything when he's tired - hence all the swearing. Not because of anything else.

I am still [shocked] he swore at you for wanting to give him One Of His Favourite Things! YANBU! :)

ooooh thumb are you me? Are you married to my DH?
I have had this this month and before. Its such a blardy battle and so stressful as you are thinking 'argh another month gone' and he is thinking what is the problem I just don;t feel like sex?

My response is to get really cross, quasi hysterical and that has not had the desired effect. I don;t know what to suggest (but if you manage to change your DH's mind in due course, do spill) but I want to let you know you are not alone.

Well yes - it's a bit of a to me too that offering him extra sex resulted in lots of sweary tantrumy behaviour! but hey. He's Tired. (as in rolly eyes, not "I don't believe him" sort of thing.)

Thanks farfalla - it's not like he doesn't know how important it is, that's what makes me so cross! He is just like a toddler when it comes to dealing with his body though - his body rules the roost - so if he's Tired, he has to sleep - can't possibly force himself to stay awake (unless it's for work or something).
Argh!

You need to take the pressure off both of you; men often feel used if they feel under pressure to perform. Stop checking CM and looking for so called signs of ovulation; you will drive yourself half mad in the process for perhaps no good reason.

Ovulation is not an exact science and ovulation can occur earlier, later or not at all in any given cycle.

Good cm is not necessarily a sign that its egg time; such signs can be misleading. All I can suggest (and you probably won't like it) is to make love when you both feel like it even if you personally don't think its ovulation time. Timing of intercourse does both of you no favours at all in the long run and doing so can make love making a horrid chore which is patently is not.

I know, I feel the anger and the resentment.

What some gals on here and in real life have made me realise is that they feel tremendous pressure to perform and it can get too much for them.
I have decided to back off this month and just accept it and not hassle him. As hard as that is and as much as I want to smash his head in (joke, sort of) I feel I have to protect the relationship first and foremost. And getting cross has never worked for me in the past!

Oh attila you are so right I know that.
Its just that I am soooo blardy impatient. And my DH only ever wants sex at the weekend or on holiday. And my ovaries just won't lay on the weekend

no, getting cross isn't the answer at all, I know that. Won't achieve a thing! But I haven't much time left (if any, to be fair) so to wantonly waste another opportunity is really soul-destroying. :(

p.s. I don;t suggest shouting oh for goodness sake just man up and do me.
It does not work

- no I can see that wouldn't be helpful!!

Early on in our ttc time we had a row around ov time.

I later calmly explained that we get 12 chances a year. That's it. The rest of it is just waiting time. He had just wasted one of them. If he wants a baby as much as I do (and he says he does) then we should try to make sure this doesn't happen again. He got the message.

OK, better stop maligning him now - he's amazingly come good on his saying that he'd be up for it later on! He woke up again just after 1am (am in Australia, we're 11h ahead of you) and said "come on then" - ah the romance! - but fair play to him, he pulled it out the bag and now I can go to bed in a better frame of mind!

Really didn't think he was going to come through but he did... now for being so cross with him!

Hurray!

"he pulled it out the bag"

Is that where he keeps it, Thumbwitch

That's right, juggling!

God I need to go to bed now...

Good idea ... give it all a chance to settle