Conceiving after miscarriage

[Beans1977]

I've been on the miscarriage boards for a while, but just lurking on the conception pages, so hello!

I wondered if anyone had any advice about conceiving after a miscarriage? My DH and I started TTC in December 2010, and were lucky to get a BFP in February. However, that luck sadly changed and we lost the baby at 14 weeks in a missed miscarriage.

I'd been told by friends that you are very fertile after a miscarriage and conceive very quickly again. It took 8 weeks for my AF to come back but my DH and I have been trying since then with no joy yet.

I'm guessing we were just very quick first-time round, and I know that normally it takes longer and it's only been 4 months this time - but if anyone has any thoughts or advice I'd be interested to hear it as I've been feeling pretty sad the last few times we've had a BFN.

I suspect everything is normal and we just need to be patient, but at the heart of this is that I thought getting passed what would have been our due date (next week) would have possibly been easier if we'd had a BFP, but it seems - once again - mother nature didn't fancy doing us a favour!

The advice is just the same as any other time. Have plenty of sex.

It really isn't easy though and I have been there myself, and I was desperate to conceive again quickly. I'm not sure I believe the stuff about being extra fertile, but most women might be more healthy because they have not been smoking or drinking during the pregnancy. It's really devastating as you watch the months go by thinking how far along you would have been, and not being pregnant by the due date is also very very hard.
As you say, it's only been 4 months and that is well within the average time to conceive. After my first mc I went on to using ovulation tests. It took 7 cycles to conceive again, sadly I had a second miscarriage. After that it only took 2 cycles, and I'm still pregnant now. I didn't do anything differently either time, I was having plenty of sex and I knew I was ovulating. It's just luck unfortunately.

Hope you get your bfp again soon.

Hi Beans I am in a very similar position having got pregnant in January, then discovered a missed miscarriage in March at my 12 week scan. I'm still trying too, but, like you, it took 8 weeks or so for my periods to come back, then it seemed to take a few months of strange goings on before I got back into a regular cycle.

I'm now on 'proper' cycle 4 and I think AF has just started, so I can relate to your sadness and frustration and not getting pregnant quickly. Just like you, but I had a strong desire to get pregnant again before my due date, which I didn't. Having said that, now the date has passed I feel a bit more relaxed about it (I can stop thinking 'I should be x weeks pregnant by now' etc) and just have to continue hoping that it will happen soon.

I hope you get there soon too.

Thank you both for your replies - I appreciate your thoughts and it helps me realise I'm not going crazy. Sometimes I wonder if that was my one chance of having a baby or something - when I realise that is incredibly unlikely and it's just going to take a bit more time. It has taken a while for things to settle down and I'm using the sticks so I know I am ovulating again.

I think it might in a way get easier when the due date has passed - as you say Generic, I do keep thinking I would be xx weeks pregnant now, and I'll be glad when that isn't the case.

I'm so sorry you've both had these heartbreaking losses to deal with too - I had no idea how painful it was until I went through it myself - and Kat congrats on your BFP, that's fantastic news! Hopefully Generic and I will join you soon. x

Beans - I'm sorry for your loss. I know what it's like after a m/c to just want to get pregnant straight away again and like you I was always told you are super fertile after a m/c. I really do think this is a myth though and don't put pressure on yourself if it doesn't happen in the next few months. I am 15months on after a m/c and still nothing and I am sure you won't take this long but I have spoken to 3 people who all have kids now who did take a while to get pregnant after a m/c. One person has 4 kids and the only one which took her a long time to conceive was the one after a m/c - it took 10 months. My gynae says people can take over a year after a m/c. That's not to scare you but more to reassure you if you 're worrying that it should have happened by now. Good luck!

Beans - I'm really sorry for your loss as well. Don't despair, conception can take awhile sometimes. I heard somewhere that even in a great, textbook cycle with everything perfectly timed the chances are only 25% or so.

I had a MMC last year - fell pregnant after just two months of trying, but sadly discovered at my 12 week scan that the baby had not made it past 9 weeks or so. I was due in May 2011, and my date came and went with still no pregnancy, was very sad but just did my best to relax, stay positive and patient.

I fell pregnant again in July and am now 18 weeks, and everything seems to be going well to date.

So yes, it took about 8 months following my MC for me. I think it just takes awhile sometimes. Good luck and hang in there!

Thank you both for your comments and support - I really appreciate it, and I'm so sorry you've both been through such loss as well. It is really hard but it helps to be able to hear from people who've been through similar things, so thanks for taking the time to respond.

Misouko - big congrats on this pregnancy and hope all continues to go brilliantly.

And Joycep - really good luck and I hope it's not too much longer before you get your BFP xx

I believe in increased fertility after MC but only for me, I can't comment on how anyone else's body works. After my first natural MC we tried dtd very carefully about 10 days after and it wasn't very enjoyable for me so we didn't do it again for a couple of weeks. That one time got me pregnant and I carried the baby to term (after taking 17 months to conceive the first time). I am currently TTC again after a late second-tri MC but this one was chemical induction on delivery suite so a bit different. We dtd after a few days this time and frequently, time will tell if it works.

For me I think directly after MC is directly after MC, in the first couple of weeks following it. I hope that you conceive soon and have lots of good luck, I'm sorry for your loss.

Hi ladies. So glad to have found this thread and sorry to hear of your losses and worries. I got pregnant last summer really quickly after first ttc and remember thinking, 'yes! this is easy! me and DH are super fertile - great!' I then had a mmc in sept last year discovered at 12 week scan with baby measuring just 6 weeks. It was devastating as your whole life stretches ahead of you as a series of dates and milestones which will no longer be met but will still be deeply meaningful, iykwim. Took a long time for my af to return after the ERPC and even to this day my cycle isn't what it was pre-pregnancy. I too was just desperate to be preg again by the time my due date (3 April 2011) came around. It was the only way i thought i'd get through. Of course, it didn't happen, and to cap it all, 3 April was mothers day this year :-(

We kept trying, and i never went back on any contraception after the mmc. Then, after what felt like an eternity, in september this year I fell pregnant again. I thought i'd finally be putting those demons to bed and erasing all that sadness. My 12 week scan was this week. Diagnosis: chemical pregnancy. So, here i am, trying to come to terms with 2 consecutive losses and wondering whether i'll manage to get pregnant again in time for what would have been my next due date.

Sorry for the ramble, but it feels good to get this out. All i can say is that it's crap on so many levels. All we can do is take comfort from people who have experienced the same and know how hard it is, and root for one another to have a positive outcome in the future.

Good luck everyone!

thanks thunder. so sorry to hear you've been through similar. shite isn't it? i've heard people talk about clomid but have no idea what it's all about. can you help?

thanks. might ask my doc about it. it's a bit of a minefield though as i don't know whether i'm having more trouble getting pg or staying pg. there doesn't seem to be a pattern emerging. i've got pg really quick, got pg after an age of trying, lost at different stages in different circumstances. perhaps there's nothing wrong as such, but we've just been really unlucky that wonky sperm met wonky egg both times and it was doomed to fail.

will also mention to dh about getting checked out. he was quite prepared to do so just before the last pregnancy when we were getting anxious that nothing was happening for ages.

let's hope you don't end up with octuplets thunder!