sorry to waffle but I need to offload...

[cupcake44]

Hi everyone I apologise in advance for a really long and waffley thread but there is noone else I could talk to about this (and my dp tends to get a bit funny at even the mention of cm etc!)

My dp and I had agreed to wait to start ttc until after christmas so that I have been in post for some time before getting pregnant. I have started using OPK sticks this month to try to get to grips with my cycle. My cycles tend to be 25-28 days and it got to (I think) day 12 and I hadn't had even a whiff of a second line. Then the night of day 12 we experienced a major contraception failure as the condom completely broke and I ended up having to take the morning after pill. Since then I have felt all over the place, quite nauseous and emotional. I am gutted to have had to take it now just a few months before ttc, especially if it is going to cock up my cycle (I have spent the last 18 months off the pill and finally felt like my cycles were starting to settle down).

It's now day 16 and over the last 2 days I have had faint lines on the OPKs but nothing like a positive. I have so many thoughts and worries going to through my head and just feel like crying (I hate to be dramatic but I feel like the morning after pill has turned me into a complete wreck this week). My worries:

1. That I haven't ovulated yet this month (I know this might be because the morning after pill has delayed it but I am still panicking).
2. That if I usually ovulate late then I will have a short luteal phase considering my 25 days cycles some months.
3. That if the morning after pill has failed and I am pregnant now, that this has happened sooner than planned and is not the right time jobs wise.

Arghh! So many mixed feelings and confusion.

Sorry again but I just had to get all of this out and tell someone how I feel.

Hey - don't fret. I know it's important to offload (therefore I think it's best that you do so without people supposedly finding the magic answers to your problems) but I think it's the Morning after pill playing games with your hormones, and your emotions, more than anything else.

Don't worry about having a short luteal phase yet. You've actually been really sensible and started tracking your cycles in preparation but you don't have all teh info yet! It might be you missed the surge (don't know what indicators youre using- on some of them this can be missed - there's a thread about ovulation indicators in here somewhere), for example and you have already ovulated.

I feel like Pot calling the old kettle here because I am obsessing and I feel your pain about timing. For us, it;s the opposite. We have to conceive before Christmas or I don't get paid maternity leave. So, yes, having everything just so is important but I am desperately trying not to stress too much about it - please tell me if you have any tips on that one.

I think you're discovering what I'm discovering ....that conception is itself a challenge emotionally. I guess the only thing to do is to try to ride the wave and get as much support from everyone (and yourself) as you can.

oh goodness, lydiathetatooedlady, I don't expect answers just needed to get it out because I am really starting to fret. Thank you for your post, it's nice to know I am not the only one feeling the stresses and strains of baby making.

I have just been POAS when I get home about 7pm. Trying to reduce drinking and weeing beforehand but it's not all that easy especially if I exercise after work. There were no lines there initially when testing but have seen faint ones on days 14 and 15. Nowhere near as dark as should have been though. And today it seems to have disappeared again. I have tried looking at cm but this is the first month so not really got the hang of differentiating between the different types. I have spotted some stretchy cm but it didn't seem like egg white to me. More cloudy and congealed (sorry tmi!)

Basically just feel like I have gotten myself in a major stress before I have even thrown away the contraception!!

Nice message Lydia.

I feel for you cupcake and agree that the MAP has probably sent hormones all of a wobble. With regards to your worries I think:

1. the MAP may well have delayed or stopped ov(I'm no expert but it's a pretty big wallop of hormones). Also, I ov anywhere between day 14 and 18 so it can vary.

2. next month, when everything has settled down again, maybe try temping if you aren't already? I think it can heighten the ttc roller coaster but it really does show you very clearly when you are ov, especially as you watch your cycle over a few months. Try not to worry about luteal phase yet, though easy for me to say. This is a journey that likes to present worries regularly - try to limit time spent with evil Dr Google if possible!

3. if it had failed, you would be ok, even if it isn't ideal. I waited until everything was just so, but unfortunately things haven't gone how I thought and 11 months later I'm still waiting. If I had have got pregnant before wedding/at the tricky point in work, in hindsight it really wouldn't have mattered.

Hope this helps, and that you find out what's going on as soon as you can. luck to you!

Also, I only ever catch positive opks late afternoon when I haven't drunk a lot of water! The smiley face ones are pricey but give a clearer yes or no.

The MAP is basically a massive toast of the hormones in the Pill/mini-pill so it is likely to mess with your cycle. But in my experience its effects do not last beyond the cycle in which you take it. So try not to stress. In your shoes I would also abandon OPKs this cycle. It will not be a normal one because of the hormones you have taken so you might just as well save them for the next one.

And if you are pregnant it will be fine. I thought I was pregnant a while before we had decided to ttc - 5 months before our wedding and a week after I had ordered a slim fitting wedding dress! I was a bit panicked. The pregnancy didn't last and I had a very early miscarriage. I have now been ttc for 11 cycles with nothing to show for it, so with hindsight I wish I had stayed pregnant then.

Cupcake I hope you're feeling a bit better!

Others have given sensible advice, the only thing I'd add to it is if you're wanting to get your cycles nice and steady and yourself tuned up ready for the big shagathon after Xmas, have you considered acupuncture? it's one of the few alternative therapies that are widely recommended for fertility. I had the support of a brilliant acupuncturist during my IVF cycles, who often complained that people usually started coming to see her after things had gone wrong, whereas if they came during the planning stages she'd have had the chance to help get everything off to a great start. Just a thought!

that's an interesting idea MoJangles I haven't ever really looked into the benefits of acupuncture but will do some reading up. I have started to take some evening primrose and flaxseed oil now (not at the same time though) and will see whether that helps with my cycle length and cm.

Before I went on the pill ten years ago, I had two periods a month. As I mentioned above, they are now monthly between 25-28 days in length but are very light. During my previous one I only really needed to use something for one day and the rest was hardly noticable except when I wiped.

Can anyone advise though whether the end of the luteal phase is when the period is in full flow? I'm asking because I seem to have get some spotting for two days beforehand and wondered whether to count this as day one?

So many questions, sorry!

As far as I know it's the first day of full red bleeding, with early spotting marking a slow shift in hormones but not official CD1.

The threads are full of people with your sort of cycles reporting good results from acu, def worth a look IMHO, and will complement your supplements. But do make sure you get one that specialises in fertility. I think the Zita West clinic has a register of recommended ones.

Good luck!

ok, trying not to panic here.....

For last three days my nipples have been really sore. And then this morning I have woken up and I cannot really taste my porridge properly. It feels like I have lost my taste because of a cold but don't feel under the weather at all.

Could I be pregnant? The contraception mishap mentioned above happened a week ago yesterday. Could these symptoms be a side effect of the morning after pill?

When could I test to check? I haven't had a any bleeding yet and I would have expected my period to arrive this coming saturday (or sunday or monday, depending how long my cycle is because it tends to vary between 25-28 days).

Many thanks for reading, you're always so helpful!

Hiya, being on the 2WW myself I'm probably the least balanced person to answer this, but I'd still say MAP, hormone disruption, chill out for a bit longer! I don't know of any examples of the MAP failing, so I suspect you're just in for a heightened hormonal cycle as a result of taking it and then back to normal. Although you could get an early response preg test but I suspect you'd just be feeding your anxieties!

thanks MoJangles, how early do they work? I think I will get one to make sure, next saturday seems like an age away!

The MAP failed for me. It's only about 90% reliable, or something like that, isn't it?

Shecutofftheirtails- I think it's only 84% effective in the first 12 hours and then gets less as time goes on. How did you feel after taking it symptom wise?

I did a cheapie poundland test today. Initially cast it aside but then have just come to show my sister and she said "I can see a second line". Looking hard at it there is something (like a slug trail of a line) but it could be evaporation line as it's been sat there for an hour or so. I still think it's very early as wouldn't expect my period until saturday at the earliest.

Have had even weirder symptoms today though. Had some cm which looked strangely like egg white. Was clear and very stretchy. Did an OPK but it came back negative. Today is day 22 of cycle. Then when fishing around for cm earlier on (sorry tmi!) there was a streak of blood. Nipples are still sore too.

Just want my cycle back to normal and to be able to put this morning after pill episode behind me.

Any one got any thoughts?

cycle day 25 (earliest day I would expect my period)- Did a cheapie poundland strip using FMU. BFN. Cycles tend to vary between 25-27 so will test again Monday and then next Saturday as well I think. Boobs still sore (DP seems to think they are bigger too). Feeling like AF is on her way.