Facebook

[highlove]

sorry I know it's been done here a lot...but for fucks sake...I vote it is renamed reproductivelysmugbook

Only... yeah I know how weird it is, I accept its irrational, but where else than on the internet are you allowed to be irrational safe in the knowledge that other people feel exactly the same! If you don't agree with the posts here, then don't read them, simple!

Sorry only you have caught me on a bad day.

This is the conception section where a lot of us are having problems conceiving or experiencing losses.

So comments like feelings of inadequacy and we are bitter and weird strike a raw nerve. Would expect that in I am being Unreasonable but not here

We sort of know its ilogical but sometimes its nice to know others feel the same way. TTC is an emotional and ilogical process sometimes.

I read somewhere that looking at Facebook is the equivalent of staring at yourself in the mirror. I.e. it's narcissitic. People use it to promote themselves. I admit when I got engaged I couldn't wait to change my status. I was so excited and I don't remember considering how it may have made some of my single friends feel. However, I didn't mention it again or go on about it. The tables have turned now and after my m/c and lack of pregnancy since, I couldn't handle not the announcements, the constant updates (classic signs of narcissitic behaviour), the scan as the main piccy (weird!) and the talking in code (just announce you're pregnant for god sake and stop fishing!). But there were friends who I knew were pregnant but didn't mention it anywhere and I had a lot of respect for that.

Anyway, all those updates just felt like having hundreds of people in one room constantly attention seeking and talking about themselves. Plus FB somehow manages to make you feel like you're the only one who can't seem to get pregnant. And yes I might be bitter and miserable about things but coming off was the best thing I did!

i know someone who actually posted a picture of their positive pregnancy test,....the idiot!!!!

This is a great thread as i have been feeling this for months. What I HATE about all the smug pregnancy/baby posts is that life is not that perfect - i do not believe that these people's lives are so incredibly wonderful and glorious that they fly through the day on the joy and peace their new bundle has bought them. I may still be trying to conceive baby#1 but even I know that nipple pain, sleep deprivation, cabin fever etc are an ever present struggle for all mums. So why pretend you have the easiest, most perfect life in the world? Is it just to make us jealous?

Facebook profiles are people's effort to show people tan idealised version of their live - it's a front and it's horrible to witness especially when it hurts us ladies who are longing for our families.

I couldn't agree more about how annoying and upsetting seeing people's pg annoucements and updates can be when you are ttc. After my mc I had many many set backs because of such posts. But I think there is a difference between people who are just sharing their news and others other annoying attention seeking pillocks people who do daily updates, moan about their pregnancy and go on about how wonderful their life is Since my mc, I'm now pg, and have posted pics on fb, but I don't go on about it. But I have a lot of friends who live across the country who I don't see often so it's my way of sharing. I don't think that makes me an idiot! Or uncaring. I go out of my way to limit my pg talk on fb.

I never did a good job of hiding friends who were pg, in fact I often touremented myself and went looking at them, but that's not their fault.

I am having 'difficulties' ttc too, and I have many friends who are currently pregnant... so I have no idea why I said such insensitive things. Truly am sorry about that.

I think it's quite nice when people make an anouncement on FB. Although I'm TTC, (with no luck as yet), it makes me feel hopeful that it will happen for me and I think it's nice to celebrate other people's news. I do agree though that it's annoying when they go on and on about what their children are doing but again I suppose it's what is happening in their lives at the time. I dont think most of these people mean to be insensitive, I think they're just excited to share their news, as we all will be.

I was ttc for three years with my DS and am again now pretty unsuccessfully. And I've had mc too. But actually I don't mind baby stuff on FB. Maybe I am not friends with anyone super-smug (hope not anyway), but generally I am thrilled to see when my friends have got pregnant/have babies. First because I am happy for them and second because it gives me hope - lots of them have also struggled too!

Personally I didn't post anything on FB while pregnant but this was not to be sensitive. This is because I was terrified of losing the baby. Now I do post pictures of my DS on FB as my friends/family ask me to as some of us are miles apart or in different countries.

I guess I feel very, very sad inside myself that ttc is not an easy option for me. But I don't resent others at all for it. Which is funny as I'd describe myself as totally mental about ttc in every other way. But I guess I feel that no-one else can have "my" baby so I don't need to take it personally when they have their babies.

Still, I reserve the right to change my mind and become incredibly bitter if I have another three years of being poked and prodded by doctors with no success ahead of me.