my period came today, 2 days early (although I no longer know what is early or late since my cycle is so fucked up) and without fanfare. that makes it 69 cycles. I am bloated and greasy and feel like shit. Everyone else who had their babies at around the same time have had another, maybe two... in one case three. And they all ask "any plans for another?" if I reply with an enigmatic "we'll see what happens" instead of ripping off their heads and telling them exactly WHY we havent had another, they cock their heads and say "well, you dont want to leave it too late"
really? I hadn't considered that! I mean, its not like I cry every month is it? or I have read every book and tried every trick known to man?
and you know what? relaxing doesnt fucking well help. not a jot. because I am infertile and no amount of holidays, or ceremonial giving away of maternity clothes, or books, or burning of charts will change that.
yes, I am lucky to have a child, I know that. but it isn't wrong for me to want another. my DB has one eye, he is lucky that he isnt blind, hell, he's lucky he is alive. but he is still unlucky to have lost an eye.
my consultant is a wanker with a god complex who doesnt think that a temp spike is relevant to my mc's, and the hospital wont take responsibility for fucking up my c-section.
Im so angry today.