to ask for tips when ttc?

[charliejosh]

Apart from doing th edeed regularly, are there any other tips or old wives tales when ttc?

I don't mean to be arguementive lissie but I don't think you can say I'm wrong!
In your experience maybe stress had nothing to do with TTC but my experiences are mine... I lived through it and yes.... Stress definately played a huge part. My MW and GP said exactly the same thing. MW friend told me to stop "trying" go out, get drunk and shag!!!

Hi ladies, ive now been actively trying for 10 months ever since my mmc back in sept with no avail, im 33, hubby 35 and i also have a tilted uterus???
been to see my doctor today, who has now put me forward for tests, but what he did say was stress does affect fertility.
its been proven that women who chart and manage there fertility are less likely to become pregnant within the recommended year as (aparantly) the stress causes your cervical mucus to dry up and makes the vagina a hostile envirnment for the sperm to live in??
look im not an expert, he is?? so im stopping the charting and just seeing what happens from now on..... thats kinda where i was at when i got pregnant for the first time.
[jwts]ive also read somewhere that laying on your front can help as the sperm has to be closer to the cervix?? not sure to be honest, its all a myth to me!!!!

but how do you explain women getting pg during times of war, moving house, going through a divorce, as a result of rape? Im really sorry, but even my own cons has poo-pooed the idea of stress reducing fertility. there is no scientific evidence that it has any effect on anything other than your libido.

Hello. We're going to move this thread to the Conception Talk boards. That's where it really belongs, we think.

just repeating what my gp said today.

helen, isnt this already on the conception talk boards?? im abit confused?

sorry, I seem a little snippy. I have no doubt that relaxing a little made you feel better, but the "stress" argument is (imo) thrown around a lot as a solution to ftc. if you are relaxed you feel like having sex more often, and getting knitted up about it not happening does affect your overall health, but there are many factors to consider. the fact of the matter is, if you have been ttc for 18 months+ going on holiday will not change a thing. stress by itself doesnt hinner your fertility, its just another way for women to feel shitty about not getting pg

and mrsb, really? I have to say, I have never heard of charting reducing fertility, if anything it does the opposite because sex is timed better. diet has a huge impact on CM though. that said, many gp's dont actually know that much about fertility, I once argued with my gp for about 20 minutes about whether a LP could be shorter than 14 days (i was right btw, blood tests confirmed)

lisle I don't know the biology behind it but I do know it did affect my fertility... Definately. The doctor and MW td me it was a big factor and to relax. Whether it is a physical effect on CM or mental thing, i do not know. But fertility monitors and ovulation sticks seem to cause us more stress.
Once we ditched it all... Got my BFP.

Have to weigh in on the stress thing. Also been trying for 18 months and stressful is not the word for the shenanigans going on it that time, although I will not bore with details.

I spoke to my fertility consultant about my stress levels and whether I should quit my (at the time) extremely stressful job to give myself a better chance. He's a prof at an eminent teaching hospital and had done research on stress and fertility. His exact words were "my findings were, the more stressed you are, the more pregnant you get!". He looked and women in warzones, famine, following rape etc. and found that weirdly there was a higher rate of pregnancy than in those in 'normal' situations. The last time I got pregnant was after an operation - one of the most stressful things that's ever happened to me - I MC'd sadly, but I hadn't had a sniff of a pregnancy during several relaxing holidays before that...

I think all it shows is there are a range of opinions on this and it depends who you ask. I have to echo Lissilou that when people (including medical people) give me the 'relax and it'll happen' spiel they're lucky they don't get a punch in the face. If I knew how to relax at this point I would! It's hard when you don't know if it'll ever happen.

Also on the charting - the whole thing about it drying cervical mucus just sounds barmy! I agree that it can make you focus more on TTC which can add to the pressure, and admittedly the same fertility consultant told me there is no evidence to show it increases your chances, but it certainly doesn't decrease them! No idea where your GP got that. I'd point him to all the women who swear by Taking Control of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. Didn't work for me yet but it makes you fee a hell of a lot more in control if your cycles are a bit bonkers.

do the dead every other day

folic acid one a day

no alcohol

healthy diet, heatlhy bmi

decaf tea/coffee

DO NOT do the ovulation sticks, they are shite and they only cause you stress & make you paranoid.

Good luck x

I have only been pg once but it was on the cycle when I thought I had missed the whole ovulation window whilst at a week long conference & only had sex for pleasure on my return. It was also the only month during TTC when I'd had more than a smidgen of alcohol. All the other months I used ovulation sticks. Suspect my cycle was atypical & focussing on the sticks & dates meant we missed the real window. Just have a lot of sex whenever you aren't on your period & GOOD lUCK it's very random!

If women who are charting and testing are less likely to conceive than those who aren't maybe that could be because they already suspect there could be a problem/ have been trying for a while - so that as a statistical population they may be less fertile than the general (non-charting) population.
Proper science is supposed to take these things into account before drawing any conclusions, but my experience/ opinion is that this often may not fully be the case - especially when things are at the more anecdotal level.
I've seen bad science so often in the areas of social science and education especially - particularly when politicians get hold of an idea !
eg. Cameron's recent comments that one parent families were often poorer etc.
children possibly less likely to succeed according to various measures.
That works both ways with poor families possibly more likely to break down than more middle class ones anyway.

For us stress has affected our conception simply because the stress has put DH off ttc altogether. At times he wouldn't initiate at all and obviously you.baby make a baby if you don't dtd!
We have made time for each other which helps. We have 'naked time', no strings. We just strip off and talk and cuddle. Sometimes we dtd but its clear its not expected. That provides opportunity without too much expectation!

My point exactly queenn cee!! What I was trying to get at was putting pressure on yourself by charting,timed sex,taking ur temps the whole thing adds pressure and stress!
I agree u can get pregnant whilst under stress but its a compleatly different type of stress. My first pregnancy happened a week after we returned from getting married we got I got broke into, laptop car and camera with honeymood shots were all taken! And then the hire car we had got vandalised and clamped! So a very stressfull time! But a different type of stress.
Why is it that so people feel the need to argue on a threat that's all about helping someone?? I find it un real.... Were all entitled to have an opinion, right or wrong and u take what u can from it!
Rant over!!! Good luck ladies!! Because really that's what it all boils down to luck!!!!

Personally though I was just examining some of the wider issues brought up here, because I find them interesting.

just try and relax easier said than done but i have pcos so very irregular periods ranging from 28 day cycle to six monthss very lucky with ds1conceived within a few weeks ds2took nearly 12 months