Am I/aren't I???? (Pathetic!)

[abeautifulbutterfly]

Sort of TTC DC3 (DDs 7.5 and almost 6). I've been broody for a few years but DH was unwilling, but after I MCed a couple of years ago (unplanned PG but I was so excited, and then gutted) he began to think about it and eventually threw the condoms away . That was about a year ago. We have both had loads of work stress and been v. tired so hardly any action at all (think 1x/2xmonth!!).
I have been determined not to think about it - no testing, no temping, no despair when yet again fertile days go past and no sex...
And now - AF awol (though can't remember exactly when last AF was, but I think around 9th Apr), tender breasts for over 2 weeks - I always have that a week before AF anyway, so for a while didn't think anything of it, but now 2 weeks and still no AF!
Last couple of mornings wibbly nauseous feeling (as in previous PGs - am not a vomiter thank goodness), and constant oversalivation/metallic mouth. Off alcohol suddenly...
Am I? Can I possibly be? Daren't buy test in case of BFN. How long can I wait? Have starting taking folic again just in case, but too scared to test. How pathetic am I!!
We are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary next weekend with a big party - think I will have to invent ABs or something because if I don't drink everybody will guess and I don't want people to know yet in case it all goes wrong.
Sorry for waffle, just had to get it off my chest...

Good luck Butterfly I really hope it's a BFP for you just in time for you anniversary! Sounds promising

I think if your dates are right you should test. If you are, you'll get a bfp this far along. If you're not, you're not, taking a test won't change that! Hope is it a bfp for you but if not at least you'll be out of limbo land and know you're safe to drink at the party!

*butterfly my last af was also 9th april i have had 4 bfn so am going for a bloodt test 2morrow was told by gp 2day 2 act as if i was pg i have also got a big event coming up hen night in 2 weeks and wedding in 5 weeks

Ooo emmalou - good luck to you!

Update: have bought a test. Now just got to pluck up courage to use it. Methinks Monday is the day... (why Monday?)
Thank you for your good wishes!

Do it 2morrow

Do it now!!

POtheFuckingS

Gwan you know you want to

Do it tomorrow! Fingers crossed for you!

WHere's OP gone? Hopefully POAS?

No, pathetic I know, but still haven't done it... (Sorry I haven't been back, I actually have a life beyond MN ) Am carrying the damn thing around in my handbag for the third day.
Only last time I did it and before we could get our heads round it there was all this uncertainty - wasn't developing, I felt pregnant but it wasnt growing, no development etc etc and I guess I'm just trying to put off that stress should it happen again...
Also DH is working at home today and I want space to get my head round it before he has to get his round it too .
Monday, I tell ya.
But I know I'm pG anyway. I feel like a smells early warning system. Can smell coffee/cig smoke/petrol/anything at all a mile away. Even the bloody spring air with all the scent of blossom on it makes me want to heave (live in deepest countryside)

i dont think you are pathetic
i am the same when i suspect i am PG (TTC 3.5 yrs 7MCs- 6 during this TTC span) i think you do need to POAS but do it when you feel ready to face it. the last time i was pregnant i left it til i was nearly 6 weeks along to test as that is the earliest i can be seen at the recurrent MC clinic near me. it doesnt stop the inevitable happening but it will give you a couple of days/weeks without constant worry. sorry about your MC

I had my bloodt test yesterday so just a waiting game now 2 wait 4 results i also feel pg

PandaEis sorry for you . You are a strong woman.
That's another reason - we said that if I MC again (last one was MMC with ERPC) we would stop trying. Already have 2 gorgeous DDs and I am pushing 40 so perhaps I shouldn't be greedy.
Maybe if DH relaxes over the weekend (he's had a particularly bad week this week) I will do it on Sun and tell him then...

Ooo emmalou x-posts keeping my fingers crossed for you!!! When results?

they say up 2 a week but i am gonna ring later this afternoon and every day after lol

Rang docs results not bk gonna be a long weekend

Got results bk rang hospital about bleed and they gave me them negative seems this is my period 15 days late :(

Oh sorry Emmalou , could they give any reason? DO you have erratic cycles or is this the first time?

Well... I did it, yesterday (all that fannying around to wait until DH was out and in the end I did the deed while DH, DM and 2DDs were all around ). POAS and the little red line nearly jumped out and bitme on the nose it was so strong. Guess I'm pG then. TOld DH today while we were out for a coffee together and he was really surprised. I think we'd both stopped believing it would happen.
Now have to bk an appt at the dr's who will once again raise his eyebrows and frown at my fecklessness in not knowing when last AF was...

Thanks for the patience, hope to see some people around on AN threads...

No i am norm quiet regular going to see the doctor again as the clomid clearly isn't working for me
Congrats on your bfp