possible fertility problems means going it alone?

[JazzAnnNonMouse]

My dearest best friend is having a dillema at the moment and I don't think me being pregnant is helping!
When she was younger she had a terrible battle with Cancer and is thankfully fully recovered. 8 years later she's been discharged from hospital BUT they've told her that her chances of concieving are very unlikely because of the chemotherapy.
She's desperate for children and has been told that her chances of concieving will be better the younger she is. The problem is that she doesn't have a stable partner and no one to actually concieve with (unless she went sperm donor or random stranger route...)
I'm trying to let her see that things aren't all doom and gloom forever for her and that there are options available. She seems quite stuck on finding the right man first which obviously is the ideal for her but if she wants children so badly (and she really does!) is the ideal the only thing she should be looking for?
your thoughts on her going alone which she's contemplating/any other option would be greatly appreciated :)
(she can't freeze eggs for later use - can before chemo but not after apparently)

?

How old is she? I think that could be a significant factor in all this.
She'd need to look into being tested to check if she is ovulating and probably them to look at the quality of her eggs before she gets to looking at a sperm donor.
I'm.glad to hear she's beaten her cancer :)

she's only in her mid twenties, that's why its so sad.
it's not as if she's reached the end of her baby making time - but it is..

I think she's young to be thinking of having a family on her own when she could easily meet a fella in next few years and who knows what they'd decide they want as a couple?
I wonder if Macmillan would be able to.advise her on the practicalities but only she can decide if she wants to pursue trying to become a single Mum via sperm donation.

she might not even have a few years though - this is the dillema for her :(

but mid twenties isn't that young when you know that you are going to have fertility problems.

If it is unlikely she will be able to conceive due to her previous treatments then it is also likely she will have to go down the donor egg route, and there is a signifficant waiting list for donor eggs, plus there are still no guarantees at the end of it all.

She might well meet a man with whom she would want children but even if she doesn't, waiting for donor eggs and sperm could take between three/five years, so it's not unreasonable to think of starting the process sooner rather than later.

I see your point!

How do you go about getting fertility investigations? Is is something that needs to be done privately?

It's so unfair that she's faced with this, the heartache and possible cost and people like myself just for up duffed without hardly trying :( I think I'm feeling guilty and just want to help her but unsure as to how...

She should go to her Gp and ask for a gynae referral/to see a fertility specialist initially for investigations. She shouldn't have to go private with her medical history but I suspect it would be quicker. I'm no expert about the finer details of the process but she's entitled to have bloods/scans to see exactly how her body is functioning post cancer treatment.
Try not to feel guilty. I lost my Mum to cancer (probably why I chose to post). I've concluded life isn't fair. It's what you make of what you get that counts. You're obviously a caring friend and right now that's what she needs.

thanks - I'll let her know that she does have those options. If she does go the private route (should she choose to do this at all) do you know how much it would cost? (Same as IVF?)
Thank you for your kind words - it's hard to see her so unhappy about this when I'm getting more and more pregnant.