TTC. how do i stop myself getting obsessive?

[catinhell]

hi.

i'm TTC number 3 after a gap of 8 years.

i'm not even due on til tomorrow and already have done two negative tests, resulting in making myself feel very low.

i'm so cross with myself for not approaching this in a more relaxed way. its only my first cycle, ffs.

the trouble is, i have a very obsessive nature, and just dont know if i could cope with months or years of waiting and uncertainty.

i know that mant of you have been TTC for years and i probably deserve a virtual slap.

before you do slap me...this post is really about being an anxious person already and whether might be better to stop at two, as i just know i could be one of those who lets it take over their life, unless i'm very careful.

i suppose i just want to get some advise about dealing with the whole TTC cycle of waiting.

anyone else feel that their temprement makes them the worse possibly person to TTC?

any advice?

'many' not 'mant'

TTC number 2 here too and very obsessive. Day 20 of first cycle and 4 neg tests down...

i think i'm day 28 but not even sure how long my cycle is. 29 days i think.

i am a fool.

You have to force yourself. It's hard at first. It's normal for it to take a year or so. You don't want to waste that time with disappointment, negativity and obsession. You're creating a new life. That's a wonderful thing.

What I did was take up a new hobby (I'd ttc for a year and had a miscarriage). Something that required brain space. I got an slr camera, booked a course and started developing my own pics in a local dark room. And I loved it. I immersed myself in it. And when I then had a baby, I had a lovely way of taking beautiful photos.

is it any easier at other times of the month?

would it be fair to say that the last day before a period with neg tests under your belt, and a sliver of hope remaining, that this is a particulalry stressful time on the 'calendar'?

thanks for your posts x

i dont know either. im someone who tends to get all consumed in my current little hobby or interest and am finding that in cycle one i am already more interested than i thought i would be. im hoping if this cycle is (as likely) a bfn i will lose interest in the obsessing with time.

yeh, similar to you I am an obsessive.
I think my advice would be wait until you have been trying for at least 6 months to start charting/temping/groping around for cming.
That is what tipped me over the edge to being a stressed out fool this month. I am going to resolutely not chart or temp or even count my days next time.
( AF hasn't showed- i think she and any potential eggs have been scared off by the intensity of the stress and pressure going around in my house this month... and no... Im not. dont even think I ovulated ( that would be the temperature testing that helpfully made me depressed EVERY day of my cycle this month.)

Good luck, and just go and have lots of sex. xx

I am mostly quite good at not being obsessive, just interested.

I am spending a lot of time learning about my condition (PCOS) and how that might affect fertility and reading conception boards. I think about it a lot but am for the most part not getting stressed by it.

It's probably because I don't expect it to happen quickly based on the experience of friends and family around me.

Stay busy.

Try to enjoy it.

Don't test early. That means wait until your period is late.

This will be your 3rd child. Even if it never happens you've got 2 children to love and you know what it is to be a mother and carry your babies in your belly.

So it takes a while longer than you would ideally like. Is that really such a big deal?

Just don't obsess about it. It's just shagging. And stay away from the magical thinking conception threads where deluded women collect supersticions around what to drink what days of the month.

Superstitions

OMG so glad i'm not alone. We've been ttc no. 2 for 5 months now and nothing. I've no idea how long my cycle is as i came off cerazette in oct and only had 2 periods since and according to ovulation sticks i'm not even ovulating!!

Everywhere i look is baby bumps, 3 of my bf r pregnant and i could just scream. (Although i am really happy for them)

I think baby all the time and feel so cross because i know to make it happen i need to stop!!!