I know it's only 4 months, but I'm pissed off!

[nightowlmostly]

Sums it up really, we decide to start trying in January, and nothing yet.

I know realistically it is early days, but I'm getting the hump to be honest! Any advice for keeping chins up etc..?

hi night owl,
We've been 3 months, but I'm pretty sure we got the dates right for dtd so it does make you wonder why your not upduffed, I agree.
According to my mum, it'll happen when your not trying so hard. It's not scientific, but next month I'm knocking off all the pills and potions and am not going to try properly. We'll just dtd when we feel like it.
I'm sure there will be some ladies along sometime to reassure us that they took 3+ months and nothing was wrong...
x

Yep, took me 7 months, at least 5 of those months the timing was spot on perfect as I was using a fertility monitor. Unfortunately it does often take time, even if you get everything perfect there is only a one in four chance at the most! And four months is when the frustration started to set in for me.
Relaxing obviosly will not get you pregnant, you still need sex three times a week! But not stressing too much will make trying less of a pain and is better for your relationship. Remember this ttc can be a very long haul!

Not really sure what the sceptical face is for. Anything up to a year is considered normal. Over three months does not mean there is anything wrong. I suggest you google average time to conceive so that your expectations of what is normal are more realistic. Naturally, some people get lucky very quickly but that does not mean the rest have a fertility problem

Thanks, Kat

Even if timing is spot on for ovualtion theres only a 1 in 4 chance to fall pregnant, so you can see from this it could take some time.
People that say it will happen when youre not trying too hard (ime) generally have had no problems falling pregnant, theres nothing wrong with maximising your chances as there is only such a short window each month you can fall pregnant - egg only lives 12-24 hours and sperm in ideal conditions approx 5 days, more likely 2-3.

If you have a look on fertility friend you can do a search to see all charts where the timing is pretty much right (you can tick days when intercourse took place on O-3, O-2, O-1, O, O+1.

I did a little analysis (I was having a quiet day at work and am getting a bit obsessive about trying for a new baby!!!). Embarrassing as it is am going to share it with you.

For those who timed it right and hit all five of those days about 41% got pregnant and another 4% had 'chemical pregnancies' ie early miscarriages. The statistics were relatively similar if you only hit O-2, O-1 and O (39% pregnant, 4% miscarriage). Or similarly with O-1, O and O+1 it was 37% pregnant, 4% miscarriage).

So assuming that the population on Fertility Friend is similar to the general population you actually have a pretty good chance of being pregnant within 6 cycles if you manage to time it right each cycle. By my reckoning if 100 women try for a baby getting the timing right each cycle, with a 41% chance each cycle of ending up pregnant, by the end of 6 cycles 95 of those women will be pregnant.

In fact it is likely that the Fertility Friend population is slightly less fertile than the general population, because many women will only think about going on such a website if they have experienced difficulties getting pregnant. Also some of those women will have multiple cycles stored on fertility friend whereas the most fertile will have less cycles, because they got pregnant quickest. So the total collection of cycles stored in their database is slightly skewed to the less fertile.

Finally, I wondered how much age makes a difference to the chance of conceiving IF you time it right. I filtered by age in three year blocks (22 - 24, 24 - 26, etc etc up to 46.) As you would expect there is a reduction in your chances as you get older. Up until the age of 30 there was essentially little drop-off, with your chance being around 40 - 44%. At age 33 your chance is reduced to around 36%, and by age 29 your chance is around 33%. By the age of 43 you have around a 19% chance of getting pregnant IF you time intercourse correctly around ovulation.

Clearly all this depends on a woman actually ovulating and being able to determine the timing of ovulation. These statistics only included cycles where an ovulation date was determined.

Hope this is of interest to someone! If not, I am heartily embarrassed.

impressive stats, and interesting stuff! so the 40% ish that got upduffed, where they swi on all 5 of the days? i better pull my finger out! was thinking alternate days was the best way to go about it....

No, the results are pretty much similar for any combination as long as O-1 and O are in there. Eg similar results for O-4, O-1 and O as for O-2, O-1, O. You don't increase your chances by much more than 1-2% by hitting all five days.

and by the way, this cycle I hit three of the five days but haven't been successful - BFN this morning and expecting my period to start tomorrow. Oh well.....

Interesting research. You should publish a paper!

Wow, eeyore. That is pretty impressive stuff
doffs cap

Thanks! I think I probably posted it on the wrong thread but I just wanted to share it with some people who would find it useful and not think I am a maniac! There is so much that floats around the internet about the chance you have of getting pregnant but a lot of that seems to be related to just having sex without contraception and doesn't take into account some of the rather more (ahem) elaborate stuff a lot of the women on these boards are doing to maximise their chances.

i totally find this interesting eeyore! ( but you are obviously a total maniac - [grins] as am I! Good for you. I have a bit of job envy as I don't think I could get away with a dabble on Fertility Friend as I am a dentist!

We have been 'officially' trying since end of November- but only had one period since the heart wrenching and still painful decision to stop Bfeeding in order to concieve. ( other reasons; but kind of now or waiting 3 years) In the TWW now, BD alternate days from CD 8 to 20, trying hard not to test until Sunday..( CD 26 now)

Good thread start OP. I am planning on eating a bucket load of blue cheese and pate in annoyance if AF joins us again.xx

eeyore that was a brilliant post, really interesting! Makes me feel a bit more positive as the CBFM is helping to identify O days and I think we're doing it enough over the right period to mean I should eventually get pregnant so long as there's not a problem stopping it from happening.

If there's anywhere you can post stuff like that, it's here :0

Thanks Elmmum and thegauntlet. Really glad you find it helpful. I am going to do some more calcs to work out what the average time to conceive would be for healthy women trying to conceive and timing it right each cycle. Will let you know when it is done!

Thanks for all replies, and the interesting stuff about that site, might check it out.

I know it's early days, but it makes my period pains and all that worse when I'm depressed about the very fact of it being there at all, and it's getting me down these last few days.

Will stay positive, there's no point in stewing about it I guess!

Thanks for this thread. I've not been trying for long either, but I've been trying dammit! Good to know there are others out there.

I feel torn between wanting to read up as much as possible about it and not wanting to get obsessed iyswim.

Hello Ladies,
It is soooo frustrating. I got pregnant straight away with my 2 DC. We have been trying for no. 3 for one year now! I am so shocked every month when i get my period. Because we just took it for granted that we could 'time' it, more or less. If i'd known it was going to be this long, i wouldn't have ever used any contraception after DC2!

I went to the Drs, and she said this is totally normal, and to keep doing what we're doing!

I hope it doesn't take you this long OP :-(