Assisted Conception (and all the bits in between) volume 7

[Italiangreyhound]

Hi ladies Pumplinjoy, Shirley, Lissy, Keziah, Womanly,Val, Late, monkeybumsmum, tametortie and Rowing* - hugs to you all.

woowa of course you can join us.

Choco and Horton and londonlottie do you still look in on us?

Can you all find us?

scrummy- Sorry to hear about your crap morning. When it goes wrong, it goes wrong all at once, doesn't it? Hope you have a better day tomorrow...

beginnings- Well done you for being so calm! I felt that way this time as well, calm and confident, and I had two blasts put back and three more frozen. Crossing my fingers for you!

lucy- As it turns out, all the "receptionists" at ARGC are qualified nurses. I found this out when I was having one of my intralipid infusions and got chatting with the nurse in the dungeon (downstairs post-op and infusion room). I would ask to have another consultation with one of the doctors, which should happen much quicker now that you're on a monitoring cycle. I don't really know anything about Humira or FSH. I was in for a penny, in for a pound from the start, and I made that decision with my DH after our consultation. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful...

AFM, having a constant twingy pain behind my pubic bone, and worried that I'm getting cystitis again, or even more worried that it's symphasis pubis, which my GP suggested. Don't see obstetrician until the end of this month. Not to mention that ARGC can't give me a letter for sleep medication as it's not something they're familiar with (why would they be, they're a fertility clinic). They suggested I speak to GP and ask them to consult an obstetrician. I'm in real trouble if I can't work this out....

Beginings wow five, yipee ? well done

2moggies Hi great to hear from you again, what is your news?

Lucy sorry honey I don;t know enough about immues to know buy I pushed for info and pushed for tests and now am getting some imunes stuff so I am happy. I tend to go with what doctors say but also push for stuff because I think they say stuff like well we don?t normally do this until after three failed IVFs but I can?t afford three!

Rowing hugs to you and your smells!

Hugs to Keziah, Lissy, Fretfree , Womanly, tametortie and LAW

of course you can join us.

woowa, Choco, Horton, Val, monkeybumsmum Pumplinjoy, Shirley and londonlottie do you still look in on us?

Scrumy Sorry things are not going well. 6- 7 pm today was meant to be the happiest time of the year??? How come? I was shopping with my mum and daughter, food shopping, the trolley was groaning! It was quite weird stoocking up after not being here in the UK for a few days. I feel kind of bad that we have so very much!

Holiday was fab - ja, jag hade kul ? yes i had fun, how come you speak Swedish? I do it with a little help from Google Tranlate!

I got a BFN yesterday and did not even cry, I just knew it would be that way. But I had painful boobs and kept crying. Then tonight my period came on!

This period thing is pretty crap! I am crying at an RSPCA home for life advert!

OK, now I am crying at Undercover Boss, what is going on!

I got a BFN yesterday and did not even cry, I just knew it would be that way. But I had painful boobs and kept crying. Then tonight my period came on!

This period thing is pretty crap! I am crying at an RSPCA home for life advert!

OK, now I am crying at Undercover Boss, what is going on!

Lissy Wow, are they really all qualified nurses? That's good to know.
I hope you get your sleep medication sorted out soon. I don't have any experience/advice I'm sorry. I did have SPD when pregnant with DS though and inadvertently made it worse before it got diagnosed, so wanted to say, in case it is, try to do things that keep your pelvis stable. For example, don't stand on one leg when putting on knickers/trousers, sit down. Don't do lots of wide leg opening movements, such as breast stroke or even pregnancy yoga (made it 100 x worse for me). And cranial sacral osteopathy helped. With my second preg, I took care from the start not to aggravate it, and even though I didn't go full term, so can't compare like for like, it was definitely better the second time round. With any luck it is cystitis, as that can be treated quickly and easily.

Oopse, sorry posted that last bit twice, what I meant was I was crying a lot so did a test, because crying can be one of the side effects of pregnancy, then when I did the test and saw it was negative, I was not upset at all and did not even cry!

But now I am crying at TV programmes and even adverts!

Sorry also that should be "of course you can join us if you are only looking in" for those who are not really posting, of course you don't need me to encourage you but I do sometimes wonder if those who used to join us do look in, even Gingerwine and Penguindreams* co?? So long ago!

Thanks Italian! I now have a picture of our five embies growing away in the lab with big smiles on the lids of the dishes! That's definitely a help.

Lucy the receptionist at the Lister isn't a nurse but you have the number of the nurses and whenever I call if I don't get straight through, I leave a message and have never had to wait more than an hour or two for a callback. The other thing that I really like is that if I email the doctor that I'm under, she'll email be back within a day. You have to be a bit careful as obviously they don't want to do full consultations by email for free (and so much could get lost in translation that clinically it's not a good idea anyway), but it is a way to get extra bits of information and it makes me feel as if I have a direct line into her. The nurses are really good, but sometimes I like to have more direct contact with the actual decision makers. I'm not very good at doing what I'm told unless I understand why I'm being told why to do it!! Sorry to hear that your DH isn't quite in the same place that you are. That's tough. While I really believe that men have a bio clock too, I just don't think it's as strong. I would eat beans on toast for the rest of my life if it meant we could continue this journey. DH would too if pushed, but he's just cruising through this a bit more I think - not in a bad way, but he's better able to compartmentalise it than me.

Lissy can I ask how old you are? The Lister are really reluctant to transfer more than one blast in the under 35s (which I still am) due to their policy of trying to reduce multiples.....we're still undecided.

Scrummy, I'm so sorry - every BFN hurts, there's not two ways about it.

Lovely that we're all out partying on a Saturday night!! I had acupuncture this evening in case we do have transfer tomorrow. She's wiped me out. I'm off for a decaf before bed. Hope those of you who can have are enjoying it!!

Hi all,
beginnings enjoy a lovely, relaxed sleep. Not long...

Scrummy that does sound like a horrible nightmare day. I hope today is an improvement and that registration is completed and in the post by Monday.

Lucy I think you would really benefit by going over there and posting your results on the immunes board. There is a great wealth of knowledge and one woman in particular will help you to analyse your results.
You have so much flying around in your head at the moment, I think it would help you to crystallise some of the thoughts.
As far as I know you can have immune treatment and go to any clinic, kind of do both things at the same time. At my local clinic three women went for treatment with Dr Gorgy and also over to serum in Athens for additional treatment. All of them went had their actual treatment at my local clinic. All that travelling is a bit of a faff, but they all went on to have successful pregnancies.

Italian wah about the arrival of AF, but that's good as well isn't it. Does this mean your cycle is requlating after the thyroid treatment?

Keziah and Lissy how are you guys getting on? I hope you are not feeling too queasy.

I'm still pedalling away on my exercise bike and it is making not a jot of difference. I think I might actually have to eat less as well - how awful!

Hi Rowing, what do you mean by 'over there'? Do you mean fertility friends?
As long as you're not eating a bag of chips while peddling I'm sure you'll see some good results eventually

Rowing Maybe my cycle is coming back, or maybe it is a weirdie one!

RowingI hope you don?t mind, a person called Pocket1 on the forty thread asked me some questions about donor eggs as I said I was up for questions!
I answered them but also said in reply to: ?Q: How did you choose where to go to - I?m guessing you've gone via fertility clinic? were you ever tempted to overseas??

A: We went to a clinic I had chosen specifically as it offered the services I wanted (egg donation and embryo storage). We didn't go abroad for a lot of reasons. I wanted the child (if there were one) to have a chance to meet up with the donor if they wanted, which could not happen in some countries. That influenced my choice of UK. Also, we have a DD (dear daughter), now aged 6, so arranging child care around flights etc would have been hard. Another lady (Rowing) on the assisted conception thread had gone abroad so you could ask her about that if you pop onto that thread at

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1193042-Assisted-Conception-and-all-the-bits-in-between-volume-7?reverse=1

I really hope you don?t mind me mentioning you again, (Please tell me to stop if you want me to!). If Pocket comes onto the thread and asks feel free to tell her whatever you like, including that I am a nosy interfering old £(&^%$()!!

All the best Rowing and all.

Sorry, I managed to delete part of that post - I meant to say to Lucy - go and check out the immunes thread on Fertility Friends. Doh!

Morning... hope its okay to join you...

Italian, thank you for the introduction.

Rowing, hope you dont mind sharing a bit of overseas egg donation experience with a total novice - i'm v confused about what to do next.

i'm 44, just found out that i wont conceive naturally (low egg reserve and possibly not even ovulating). Been recommended to look at egg donation - and the specialist heavily suggested a clinic overseas (suggested that i'd get a quick match with some nice young eggs and would then have a 'normal' pregnancy). i know there are moral and anoniminty considerations with overseas donor and i'm still thinking through all of that. i have a bit of Spanish blood anyway so in doesn't feel that big a leap for me... but its a maze of information and anything you can share in terms would be so appreciated - i totally respect you might not want to chat so dont worry if that's the case:)

TIA

Welcome Pocket1. I'll leave the experts to talk to you about egg donation but the very best of luck as you join us on the madness that is this journey.

I had a rotten night's sleep. I slept fine for about four hours (sorry lissy and keziah I know that's probably sounds good to you...) and then tossed and turned until I gave up and got up at about 7. The call telling me not to come in never came so we went in for the transfer at noon. Two had made it this far. One was an 8 cell, grade 1 and the embryologist reckoned it would probably have made it to blast but the other was a four cell (should really have been six by today) so we reckoned let's get them both in now to be on the safe side. Given the quality of the 8 cel one I'm allowing myself to be hopeful. We'll see.

Hope everyone has had a good Sunday.

Beginnings, very excited and hopeful for you. Hope you can manage to take it easy and stay calm over the next couple of weeks. Will you be at work?

Pocket welcome to the thread. I am about to embark on IVF, but if it doesn't work DE will be my next step. I don't have any information or advice to give I'm afraid, but would be interested in talking about DE as well. I think I would go abroad too (mainly for reasons of speed and higher chances of success). I would like to know where (if anywhere) you can find out a bit more about the women who donate their eggs, to reassure myself that they are making the decision altruistically, and not being exploited. I am worried about the impact on a child coming from an anonymous donor (but in fairness would also be worried about the impact of a child tracing a donor) but would love to know of an organisation who might have suggestions for the best way of dealing with this, particularly as the child gets older.

But first, I'd better focus on my IVF cycle!

I'm feeling calmer than yesterday about it all. This week I'm going to talk to the girls/nurses at ARGC about my concerns re FSH, and also my doctor, but basically I've decided I'm going to take the Humira and just hope my FSH behaves (or also hope that Mr T will treat me with an FSH of 10, 11 or 12 if that's as good as it's going to get). If ARGC can't/won't treat me before the Humira 'runs out' I'll hot foot it over to the Lister. DH and I talked about money and have agreed we'll borrow for now. I still don't think the whole thing is as important for him, but to be fair he's been doing a lot of caring for sick/elderly parents recently so I can see that that is his more urgent concern.

Rowing thanks for tip about FF. Will do that too.

Welcome back from your jollies Italian.

Hi to everyone else x

Rowing where is the immunes thread? Had a look but find it all a bit confusing

Ignore me. Looked a bit harder and found it

Hi pocket and lucy

This charity might be of interest ...

www.donor-conception-network.org/

There is an article about donor conception outside the UK on the site, it is quite long but if you do read it, I suggest you read the last bit which says ...

"So, if after weighing up all the options and taking all the factors into consideration, you think that having treatment abroad is the course you will take, do make this a positive decision that you can feel confident about in years to come. There may be very positive reasons to go abroad ? you or your partner have a connection with that country, or you may want a greater range of donors to choose from (as in the USA) with more information about them than is available in the UK. Get as much information as you can about the clinic and the country as possible. Do try to contact other families who have been there ? the Network may be able to help with this. And do think about how you will tell your child the reasons for your decision, how much you will want them to feel a link with the country, and how you might become comfortable encouraging a connection of this sort."

I just feel that it is quite positive, although the whole article weighs up the pros and cons of overseas treatment and I have not read it all!

Thanks for posting Italian. It is a well written and balanced article. The thing is the donor conception network seems to be very biased towards using British donors and I wondered if a similar organisation existed for British women wanting to use a foreign donor?

Lucy no idea, I'm afraid. I think the donor conception network is pretty pro telling kids if they are donor conceieved. I googled around and found this one, but it is not support, as such, just another website with threads.

forum.sofeminine.co.uk/forum/maternite2/__f154_maternite2-Anyone-tried-ivf-with-donor-eggs-in-spain.html

Hi Italian (woopee i've leard to do bold!!)

Thanks so much for looking out those links - i've printed a few bits out and will read them on the way to work. too tired now.

xx

Hi all,
I just lost my post! Grrr! Sorry, my problem, but soo annoying.
I just wanted to say to Pockets and Lucy that we are actually going for double donation: a donated embryo, rather than a donor egg.
We have spent too much already on IVF and can't afford the cost of donor egg ivf, also I prefer the option of a full 'adoption', as I had always planned to adopt, from when I was young.
We are having treatment in the Czech Republic, where the donor's details are anonymous. The main reason is that the clinic has a high success rate and costs less than the UK. Fortunately, the physical characteristics of the Czech donors are a closer match to mine and those of DP than the characteristics of a spanish donor - DP is very fair and nobody in either of our families has brown eyes.
I know that Spain does not operate a policy of anonymity for donors and they would, therefore be more easily traced in the future. The cost in Spain is more than double for donor embryo, I don't know about for donor egg, but it would seem likely that the costs in Spain would be higher. The standards in the big Spanish clinics seem very high. I imagine it would be easier for you Pockets, if the donors were of Spanish origin, to match your physical characteristics.
I know of a number of women who have attended Serum in Athens, but only one who has had a cycle. I don't know about the donor side of things, i.e the origin of the donors or the costs.
I wish I could help more, but will do my best.
Again check FF, there is a big section for women having treatment abroad - I don't know how I would have coped without their help and support.

Thanks Rowing,
Both DH and I are half German, so if it does come to it, I think we might be going to Czech Republic too. We would plan to tell relevant people and the child about using a donor egg, it's more that I wouldn't want DS and whatever sibling he might have to look too different.
Anyway, I should really be trying to be positive about IVF instead of already plotting my contingency plan, but there's a possibility I'l be picking your brains about it more next year!
How are your plans coming on to go back for your next round?

Hi all,
Lucy I completely understand the plans b, c and d. I think we are on c or possibly d, can't remember.
So were you born in Germany, either of you?
Do you know the Czech Republic at all? I'm thinking of flying to Slovakia this time and staying in Bratislava, hoping it will be cheaper and make a change.
I don't mind, but think it would be easier to have a sibling for DS who isn't completely different from any of us. DS looks nothing like me and I'm sure people often consider phoning the police and accusing me of kidnap.
Speaking of plans, AF arrived yesterday or today, or was it last night. Anyway, just ignore me and my confusion, but at least it is a kind of line in the sand for the next treatment.
Of course I have had a complete binge, which is what tends to happen when AF shows up. Feeling very piggy - my tummy hurts, wah!

Hi everyone,
Rowing no, we were both born here (DH's Dad and my Mum already having moved over, not together I hasten to add). I have only been to Czech Republic once, to Prague. I loved it. I can't remember sorry (or maybe I never did know) but is your DS from a donor embryo too? In all honesty, loads of children look nothing like their parents or their siblings anyway do they!?
Scrummy I had my progesterone blood test back today from last week - 68, which I think is pretty good. Got AF today (booo) but hardly spotted at all (hurray). Only for 12 hours which is nothing compared to a week of spotting just last month (and also for at least 4 days every month for the last year). Bodies just do the strangest things don't they.
Beginnings how are you feeling?

Italian, Fretfree, Pocket, Womanly, Lissy, Keziah hope you're all OK.

Great news for me, we have found a donor! Or rather one has been found for us. So it is all go. Meeting to sign consent forms, ordering drugs and getting going at long last! Hooray! Our donor sounds amazing, perfect, idyllic, in my mind I am calling her Desiree! Because this is our desire to have another child. I am looking forward to it all going ahead! My IBS is playing up something chronic! Any prayers in the group, please pray my IBS will calm down and it will all be smooth from here with our treatment. Much love, and sorry this is all me, me, me!

Hope you feel better italian and congrats on finding a donor. :)
Wave to everyone else - am going mad on the second half of my 2ww for the 3rd cycle of IUI. Due to test on Sunday and I have all sorts of pain in my ovaries today - yes, typical of my PCOS body that keeps firing off at odd, random ways.
Just that I have no real symptoms and I know some women have no real symptoms... but in my case, no symptoms = bfn in past so am just desperate for some 'real' sign rather than PCOS body twinges and trips!
Best of luck to all of you across all the different stages that you're at :)

Oh Italian I just very nearly whooped on a train!! I am so pleased for you!! That is fab news!!

womanly figures crossed for you. Hope it all goes well.

Lucy I'm good thanks for asking. I am back at work but am taking it nice and easy and I'm not horrendously busy at the minute which is good. I had a couple of twinges today which may have been hormones or may have been in my head. Trying as hard as I can to stay hopeful.

rowing line in sand is good. A way to move forward.

lissy and keziah let us know how you're doing.