Any experience of donor sperm?

[daisybumbleroot]

I have name changed for this...

Myself and DH carry an awful genetic condition leaving any DC we have a 1/4 chance of having it. We have already lost one DC to it and fortunately have 2 without it (for whom we are so thankful).

We (DH) couldn't bear the thought of going through any more cvs/amnio tests after my last pregnancy so DH had a vasectomy. We would really love another DC and this is all we can think of.

Does anyone have experience of sperm donation, what does it entail and what would we be looking at costs wise?

If this isn't the correct topic, please feel free to redirect me, thanks.

We didn't use donor sperm, but did use an egg donor. I know a few people who have used donor sperm and it's a really easy process.

Sorry to hear what you have been through. May I ask... is this condition detectable in examining chromosomes?

It's detectable through FISH testing, if that's any addition to you!

What did you have to do? Was it successful?

We did ask about diagnosis pre implantation, but were told that it would be ?20K plus and not very likely to take.

Thanks for your reply.

Who told you it was less likely to take after PGD? That's arrant nonsense. It is more likely to take as you are screening out embryos that are likely to be lost due to miscarriage. It is expensive as you have to factor in the IVF costs as well. Where do you live?

Oh, and thanks for asking, our first cycle didn't work. We are just now embarking on the second...

We are in Ireland, I think we would have to travel to Britain for PGD, our consultant/geneticist quoted IVF rates of success and private fees. We just couldn't come up with that sort of money and were thinking that sperm donation might be an alternative solution.

I have never had a problem with miscarriage, but a natural chemical causes severe brain damage to the foetus (with the syndrome) during early pregnancy.

Sorry that your first cycle didn't work, everything crossed for your second.

Name changing was a disaster, sorry!

That's a shame that you can't do it in Ireland. It does sound like donor sperm is your best bet. Is it legal in Ireland, or would you have to go overseas for that as well?

I believe it's possible here, I just wanted to see what was involved before I rang the clinic I had seen.

You normally think a procedure seems so simple and then there becomes a lot more that wasn't apparent at first, I'm sure you know well.

Also I was wondering if the (imaginary!) DC would want to find the biological parent or if they would feel any different to our existing DC and so on. Can you tell I've been thinking about this?

How many DC do you have already?

We've done that. For different reasons that you - DH had no sperm at all - but very successfully as we have two gorgeous children.

There is a really good resource here:
www.donor-conception-network.org/dcn_links.htm
with lots of articles about both the practical and the emotional aspects of sperm and egg donation. It also has advice about whether to tell the child and how to tell the child. They (and I) are firmly in the "tell" camp.

My DCs are still very young, and so don't know that they are donor-conceived yet (although I think that we are very close to "the talk" with the eldest). I'm happy to chat about the other stuff though, if you have any questions.

We have two (DS &DD2). Not including DD1, who died aged 2. I know we sound very greedy.

Thank you hiding (am so going to namechange again after this!). I will have a good read. I wanted to know more about the actual procedure and what it involves. Thanks also for your offer of more information.

I don't even know if it would be recommended in our situation hence the pathetic first enquiries...